#1
Hey all, this is a new song I wrote called stuck. It is about being stuck in life and not moving forwards or backwards. C4C

Stuck

Stuck
In the middle of a rut
F***ed
Like a bride without her love
Shamed
on what I've done for fame
Hurt
Like an Ernie without Bert
I'm stuck,
Oh I'm stuck.

Interlude

Stuck
I'm a lame sitting duck
Lost
Like the children of the holocaust
Free
From my progressive worries
Shunned
Like an alcoholic nun
I'm Stuck,
Oh I'm stuck

Interlude

I'm stuck,
Oh I'm stuck x4

#2

Stuck

Stuck
In the middle of a rut
F***ed
Like a bride without her love
Shamed
on what I've done for fame
Hurt
Like an Ernie without Bert <"Like an Ernie without Bert"? I think it would sound better as just "Like Ernie without Bert" -- unless you need an extra syllable for your tune.
I'm stuck,
Oh I'm stuck.

Interlude

Stuck
I'm a lame sitting duck <Eh, this rhyme sounds a little bit forced.
Lost
Like the children of the holocaust <I commend you n_n I like this part a lot.
Free
From my progressive worries <"Free" doesn't really fit does it? I guess if you're stuck you can be free, but since most of the other words are kind of uncongenial, "free" doesn't sound right in my mind.
Shunned
Like an alcoholic nun <I'm not too fond of this line. Could you think of another thing? Won, run, "Like a too-bright sun".
I'm Stuck,
Oh I'm stuck

Interlude

I'm stuck,
Oh I'm stuck x4


Sorry if I'm overly negative :\ Just ignore it if you don't like it. I liked most of this song, but I also think it could do with a better title. "Stuck" doesn't really make you think 'Oh I really want to read that!!", you know? But yeah, I liked all the contrasts and examples and whatnot :]