#1
Hey all, this is a new song I wrote called stuck. It is about being stuck in life and not moving forwards or backwards. C4C

Stuck

Stuck
In the middle of a rut
F***ed
Like a bride without her love
Shamed
on what I've done for fame
Hurt
Like Ernie without Bert

I'm stuck,
Oh I'm stuck.

Interlude

Stuck
I'm a lame sitting duck
Lost
Like the children of the holocaust
Free
From my progressive worries
Done,
Over ran, sick of none

I'm Stuck,
Oh I'm stuck

Interlude

I'm stuck,
Oh I'm stuck x4
#2
I can never read "amateur" lyrics without laughing. I guess it's because without hearing the music to accompany it, songs always sound so emo

No offence.
#3
Not bad , try to be a little less specific in your writing though. Thats my advice anyways.
and i sit and wonder, falling under .
#4
Quote by terrorbite
I can never read "amateur" lyrics without laughing. I guess it's because without hearing the music to accompany it, songs always sound so emo

No offence.


Yeah, lol. This is pretty much my most "emo" writing ever. But just writing my feelings. Peace
#5
Quote by due 07
Hey all, this is a new song I wrote called stuck. It is about being stuck in life and not moving forwards or backwards. C4C

Stuck

Stuck
In the middle of a rut
F***ed
Like a bride without her love
Shamed
on what I've done for fame
Hurt
Like Ernie without Bert

I liked this, except the last line seemed a little too comical; not really flowing with the mood of the rest of the song.

I'm stuck,
Oh I'm stuck.

Interlude

Stuck
I'm a lame sitting duck
Lost
Like the children of the holocaust
Free
From my progressive worries
Done,
Over ran, sick of none

I really would change this stanza, just completely re-do it. The Lame Duck is just too cliche, the Holocaust thing is overstepping your boundaries; it's a little harsh. And "Sick of none" while being gramatically incorrect, wouldn't that hint at you being happy with the way things are?

I'm Stuck,
Oh I'm stuck

Interlude

I'm stuck,
Oh I'm stuck x4



Altogether, if you changed the second verse, I'd really like it. Not a bad start.