#1
Back to the start but we are right back where we were before I left
And I never meant to hurt you, but it's such a shame
You're doing the same next November but I remember last July
When you said that we'd always be together

Even though you won't be here
Doesn't mean I can't be there
The rest of me will stay behind
But my heart will follow you anywhere
If it's really worth it, it's not gonna be perfect
But we'll make it work somehow
Just know that when I tell you how I feel
I mean it right here, right now

Sure there's always a risk, but you can take pride
In knowing that I'll always be on your side
And if you end up in heaven, that's where you belong
Just don't get me wrong, I'd never want you to fall
But that's where angels come from after all

Even though you won't be here
Doesn't mean I can't be there
The rest of me will stay behind
But my heart will follow you anywhere
If it's really worth it, it's not gonna be perfect
But we'll make it work somehow
Just know that when I tell you how I feel
I mean it right here, right now

Although I don't support the cause, you know I'll always support you
And even when you're gone, I'm always gonna adore you
My heart may be rushing, but my mind is steady
I want to be with you forever, and I swear I'm ready

Even though you won't be here
Doesn't mean I can't be there
The rest of me will stay behind
But my heart will follow you anywhere
If it's really worth it, it's not gonna be perfect
But we'll make it work somehow
Just know that when I tell you how I feel
I mean it right here, right now
#2
In Ist stanza

First 2 lines are bit cliche. Third line is little confusing just rephrase it better like. Third line is one hell of a cliche . Try to come up with better lines or images.

I'll do a short one I changed my mind . basically whole song is a big cliche . Moreover your rhyme scheme of AABB is holding you back . This might be a gr8 song with music but content is really weak even if it was written with lot of emotion or other crap.

Read the tips thread for ur future pieces and learn how to critique stuff

Hi
Last edited by abhishek21 at Feb 1, 2008,