#1
This is a song that I've been working at for a few days, and I dunno, it just feels really cool to me. I want to make it perfect, so I was hoping I could get advice on what to change.


The End of Infinity


(Intro)Scream life back into me.
Beat me back into consciousness.
We're here, we're at the end of infinity.
...The End of Infinity.

(Verse 1)It's all been a lie.
Everything we knew.
The tears that we cry.
The things that we do.

(Pre-Chorus)
It's all been a lie, and it always will.
We don't know why, and we still can't see.

(Chorus)Why can't - we - see
What's staring right - back - at us
We try to - break - free
But it's holding us back.

And if we fight this battle we will lose this war.
We can die without a cause or live with nothing to live for.

(Verse 2)Fate has drawn me here
Yet it's pushing me away
I'm tied to my past.
I'm imprisoned in my destiny

These walls are all I know.
I'll never see the stars
I'll never see your face again
I'll never lose these scars!

(Chorus 2)
Why can't - we - see
What's staring right - back - at us?
We try to - break - free
But it's holding us back.

And if we fight this battle we will lose this war.
We can die without a cause or live with nothing to live for.


(Bridge)
This isn't a dream.
I'm wide awake.
I can't escape this.
I have to face this.

I'm breaking these chains
That have held me for so long.
I'm shattering the mold
Now I'm on my own!

Here, a solo would come in. I may have the Chorus repeat again, then the end of the song.

I've got music written to go with it already. It's a big project of mine, which is why I'm so into getting it perfect. Any help will be appreciated.
#3
i really liked this part

And if we fight this battle we will lose this war.
We can die without a cause or live with nothing to live for.

the opening lines were pretty nice too, reminiscent of dave grohls style for some reason.

good work.
i need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah.
#4
Quote by StoryOfOurHero
Is this part of a concept at all?


I don't understand quite what you mean, would you be able to rephrase a bit?

And thanks, 12epi345, I appreciate it!
#5
I wrote up some music for it...i can understand if you don't get it, I tab for ****.


-- - - - - - - - - -- - - - -
-- - - - - - - - - -- - - - - -
-4- - - - - - - - -- - - - - -
-4- - - 5- - - - -- 5- - - -2
-2- - - 5 - - - - -5- - - -2
-- - - -3 - - - - -- 5- - - -0

Let ring 4 counts.


-- - - - - - - - - -- - - - -
-- - - - - - - - - -- - - - - -
-4- - - - - - - - -- - - - - -
-4- - - 5- - - - -- 5- - - -
-2- - - 5 - - - - -5- - - -4
-- - - -3 - - - - -- 5- - - -5


-- - - - - - - - - -- - - - -
-- - - - - - - - - -- - - - - -
-4- - - - - - - - -- - - - - -
-4- - - 5- - - - -- 5- - - -2
-2- - - 5 - - - - -5- - - -2
-- - - -3 - - - - -- 5- - - -0


-- - - - - - - - - -- - - - -
-- - - - - - - - - -- - - - - -
-4- - - - - - - - -- - - - - -
-4- - - 5- - - - -- -55- 5-5-5-
-2- - - 5 - - - - --55 -5-5-5 44-4-4
- - - -3 - - - - -- 55- 5-5-5-55-5-5


--------------
---------------
--------------- x2
- --4--5-4
-22-2--2--2
---------------


--------------
--------------
--------------
----4--5---4-
---------------
-33--3--3---3

------------
------------
------------
----4--5--4
-00--0--0--0
--------------

--------------
---------------
--------------- x2
- --4--5-4
-22-2--2--2
---------------


---------
---------
---------
-5------5
-5------5
-3------5