#1
I hit some inspiration at work and grabbed a piece of paper, it's just a few lines, but this is like the only thing I've ever come up with that's decent and could be turned into a song. C4C


Sad for the madness
Mad at the sadness
Hold in the sadness
Turn it to madness

Think you're so badass
It ain't a riddle,
You're caught in the middle
'Tween madness and sadness.


whatcha think?
Last edited by The4thHorsemen at Feb 3, 2008,
#2
I'm a bit inexperienced when it comes to writing lyrics, so my opinion may be a bit flawed, but I find this piece way to cluttered. All the "-ness" throws me off, rhythmically.
I suppose you could change it to "Sad for the madness" and "Mad at the sadness," and perhaps stick a line in between that doesn't have any "-ness" words in it anywhere, just to get rid of any cluttered repetition that doesn't sound so good.
Aside from that, I think the second stanza is good; I especially enjoy the second and third lines.
Last edited by mattxcoree. at Feb 3, 2008,
#3
I like the idea of switching sad and mad, and yea, i don't know about the order yet, I might even put some lines in completely different parts of the song. And the 'think your so badass' line seems kinda weak to me, doesn't really fit in..... I don't know, I'll probably forget all about this and never make anything of it. I suck at writing lyrics.