#1
I just finished this song, it's a slow acoustic song, however i can't think of any chords to add to it. if anybody can help me thank you... hope you enjoy the lyrics...
Crit4Crit


Oh mumm'a i remember the first time i opend my eyes
oh mumm'a i remember when you held me so tight
oh mumm'a i remember you tender love and care
after all that my love is what i can share

Mumm'a you brought me into this world
you made me see
the wonders of the place we live in
mumm'a thank you for this chance
i will not let you down
i will make you happy, i will make you smile
i will turn your life around

oh mumm'a remember the fun and funny times we shared
oh mumm'a remember when i was unable to picture my sisters name
oh mumm'a remember when i played and ate some sand at the beach
those memorise will never leave my head

mumm'a you brought me into this world
you made me see
the wonderful world we are in
mumm'a thank you for this chance
i will not let you down
i will stand strong, i will stand tall
i will make you proud

oh mumm'a wipe away those tears
i have grown old but i haven't changed
i am still your baby boy just like before
and i am here to share my love to you and all

mumm'a you brought me into this world
you made me see
this wonderland our homeland we live in
mumm'a thank you for this chance
i will not let you down
i will change your life, i will make you smile
i will make you proud

oh mumm'a i'm right here
i promise i will not change
oh mumm'a i will be there... for you
oh mumm'a...
Last edited by Kom23 at Feb 3, 2008,
#2
Naturaly not exactly lyrical genius but I can see thats not exactly what you were going for. Im sure it will turn out a solid acoustic, good work.
#3
Quote by Kom23
Oh mumm'a i remember the first time i opend my eyes
oh mumm'a i remember when you held me so tight
oh mumm'a i remember your tender love and care
after all that my love is what i can share

All these lines stand up by themselves without the "Oh mumm'a". "Tender love and care" is a touch cliched

Mumm'a you brought me into this world Mumm'a seems OK here though
you made me see
the wonders of the place we live in
mumm'a thank you for this chance
i will not let you down
i will make you happy, i will make you smile should these be two lines, or can you just say "happy and smile"?
i will turn your life around

I don't really understand the message of the last line, you don't appear to have suggested that her life needs turning around

oh mumm'a remember the fun and funny times we shared
oh mumm'a remember when i was unable to picture my sisters name
oh mumm'a remember when i played and ate some sand at the beach
those memorise will never leave my head

Again, all these lines stand up fine without the "oh mumm'a", although the flow seems a little off around the 3rd line

mumm'a you brought me into this world
you made me see
the wonderful world we are in
mumm'a thank you for this chance
i will not let you down
i will stand strong, i will stand tall Ditto the previous stanza: should this be two lines, or "strong and tall"?
i will make you proud

oh mumm'a wipe away those tears
i have grown old but i haven't changed
i am still your baby boy just like before
and i am here to share my love to you and all

I think this reads much better because you don't have the repetition of "oh mumm'a"

mumm'a you brought me into this world
you made me see
this wonderland our homeland we live in "homeland" doesn't work for me here as it distrupts the flow - in fact this line doesn't appear grammatically correct. Maybe a colon after "wonderland" would fix that?
mumm'a thank you for this chance
i will not let you down
i will change your life, i will make you smile Ditto previous
i will make you proud

oh mumm'a i'm right here
i promise i will not change
oh mumm'a i will be there... for you
oh mumm'a...

The "oh mumm'a"s seem fine in this last part


The constant repetition of "Oh mumm'a" really really annoyed me - to the point of distraction and wanting to give up. I can see its value in say, a chorus or at the end, but there's just way too many of them.

I think everything you say after an "Oh mumm'a" is mostly good and stands up by itself - in spite of the "oh mumm'a"

Thanks for the crit on mine BTW