#1
Cloudy Skies

I see the clouds in you, a mystery that leaves me confused.
We lay there at twilight, happy to share our lives.
But not quite, forseen, what it all just might mean.
Its contagious, when you're unsure,
and I cant say ive found a cure.

I see the rain in you, whats this hell that we're goin thru?
it kills me to know you blame me even tho its not true.
Our trust is oppressed, its what a lot of people would guess.
I know it drives you insane, with fists raised you cry to the rain,
please just wash us away,
please just wash us away.

I see the sun in you, smile as we renew
our friendship, at last, tho we thot we couldnt get past
these problems, now undone,
for understanding, always someone.
This peace of mind and soul, i hope it wont ever let go,
well, youll just have to wait,
yeah, youll just have to wait....


so thats my song, kinda emo but wtf...
#2
Quote by deathpidgeon
Cloudy Skies

I see the clouds in you, a mystery that leaves me confused.
We lay there at twilight, happy to share our lives.
But not quite, forseen, what it all just might mean.
Its contagious, when you're unsure,
and I cant say ive found a cure. to my reading of this line there seems to be one too many words/syllables

I see the rain in you, whats this hell that we're goin thru?
it kills me to know you blame me even tho its not true.
Our trust is oppressed, its what a lot of people would guess. People always criticise me for forcing a rhyme as it detracts from what is really trying to be said. I love the first part, but the second half does seem forced to me.
I know it drives you insane, with fists raised you cry to the rain,
please just wash us away,
please just wash us away.

I see the sun in you, smile as we renew
our friendship, at last, tho we thought we couldnt get past
these problems, now undone,
for understanding, always someone. 'understanding' and 'always' sound better the other way around, but that may be more cliched
This peace of mind and soul, i hope it wont ever let go, My only suggestion would be to add another 'of' before soul
well, youll just have to wait,
yeah, youll just have to wait.... For what...?


so thats my song, kinda emo but wtf...


I liked it, although the flow seems a little haphazard (sorry, that's harsh) in places. My only other minor point is the use of, or lack thereof, the apostrophe