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#1
I figuer I will share my story with you.

I worked at an ice cream/mini golf place last summer cleaning it (mopping the dairy bar, cleaning the bathrooms, scrubbing everything, ect...) in the morning and dipping ice cream at night. (What a good combo)

There ususllay was 2 of us working in the morning, and we get there about 7:30 AM.
And on that day I picked to clean the ladies room and my friend (Who is 24, out of college with a degree in english) got the mens room.

We take about an hour break in the cleaning room which is connected to the back door to get into the bathrooms.

We decided to start cleaning early and my friend says "Hey Mike come over here." in a kinda happy voice. I thought it was a good thing but little did I know...

He was standing looking into a stall and when I looked I nearly threw up.

There was sh*t ALL over the tolit seat.
I am not kidding about this.
Not to get into detail but it was the watery thickish kind is the best way I can put it.

I told him I would clean the ladies room real quick and then I would come over and help him with his, but not with that tolite.

He then took a mop and mopped it up.
By the time he was done the mop water was the nastyist smelling thing I have ever smelled.
But he wasnt done.
He had to put on a rubber glove and scrap it off with his fingernails because some of it was crusted on.

While he was doing this he was gagging on the stench.

Thank goodness I didn't pick then mens bathroom that day.


So I ask you,
Do you have any stories about stuff you did in a public or something youve seen.

With love,
-Mike
The good times are killing me.


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#2
Once I saw a turd so big it didn't fit in the tiolet. I'm deadly serious.
NO ONE EVER READS MY POSTS.
#3
some funny people always piss on the radiators in train toilets which stinks really bad..
#4
Quote by mr freezy
Once I saw a turd so big it didn't fit in the tiolet. I'm deadly serious.

I blame obesity.
I actually do have schizophrenia, so stop making fun of people who have it.

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#5
when i worked at wendys, a similar incident occured, but it was in the ladies room.

long story short, $6.50 an hour isnt enough to make me clean crap.

someone else did it, but i was ready to quit right then and there. thats a job for a specialist, or a biohazard team.

now, what have I done?

one time it was after a party, me and my friends were driving home and we all had to piss, so we stopped at a grocery store, and went to the restroom. my friends took both the toilets over, but i had to go. so i just unzipped and used the trash can.

mid-piss, an employee walked in.... i just kinda laughed at him, and we got the hell out of there quick
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#6
when i was in elementary school, at lunch i went to the bathroom to find someone had ****, must have picked it up, and smeared **** all over the bathroom, they even wrote their name on the wall, it smelled so horrible and was so disgusting i didn't last 10 seconds in there
#7
My friend told me about this:
My friend walked into a Hardee's to take a crap. When he flushed the toilet the handle broke off. Then the toilet clogged and it overflowed so he walked out to the car (that's where I was). He still had the broken handle in his hand! It was pretty funny.

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#8
I walked into the mall one day a while ago probably when i was like 16, went to use the bathroom real quick so i walked in the bathroom and some asian dude who didn't speak a lick of english was taking a **** in the urinal and there were probably 4 other people in the bathroom going what the **** are you doing and laughing.
RIP Dime This "Blacktooth" is for you brother

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#9
So I was working one night and was asked to go clean the washrooms. As I walked into the mens washroom I saw a guy on the ground in the stall. I rush over and knock the stall door open (really pathetic locks) and this guy is laying on the ground with his pants around his ankles and a bottle of vodka in his hand. He also had a gift for our Copy & Print associate (at the time, my girlfriend) with little hearts drawn all over it, and her name spelled wrongly. This guy was at least 50 (while she was 17).

I phoned the manager, he got woken and escorted out. That was interesting.


But for sheer disgustingness, orange crap in the toilet, with bubbles floating around in it.
#10
Quote by sv1684
I walked into the mall one day a while ago probably when i was like 16, went to use the bathroom real quick so i walked in the bathroom and some asian dude who didn't speak a lick of english was taking a **** in the urinal and there were probably 4 other people in the bathroom going what the **** are you doing and laughing.


#11
Quote by sv1684
I walked into the mall one day a while ago probably when i was like 16, went to use the bathroom real quick so i walked in the bathroom and some asian dude who didn't speak a lick of english was taking a **** in the urinal and there were probably 4 other people in the bathroom going what the **** are you doing and laughing.


oh man that made my day
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#12
I once saw George Michaels in a public bathroom- he definitely wasn't there to take a piss...
:stickpoke
#13
Quote by mr freezy
Once I saw a turd so big it didn't fit in the tiolet. I'm deadly serious.


My cousin did one like that on holiday....my uncle had to cut it in two with a knife so it would flush.
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#14
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#15
I've got this book where the author has collected various notes from various people to their flatmates.

One was regarding a party where someone had got up iin the morning and started cleaning up and found a pair of **** encrusted y-fronts hidden behind the toilet.

basically someone had **** their pants at the party and left them in the toilet.

In my own experience, back at school the plumbing was really **** in the block with the cafeterias, so the toilets usually didn't flush and the toilets got really full of piss. I saw about 4 guys lift this one little guy up and stick his head into all that piss. When they let him go I was over washing my hands and he came over and tried washing his hair in the sink, he was ****in stinking.

Another time at uni my mate came out the toilet and whispered to me (cus there were girls with us) someone did a massive **** on the floor in there, then one of the girls bf came out and he was like "OMG did you see that massive **** on the floor!!!"
#16
Quote by TomD03


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"IT'S SO SMALL I DON'T NEED THE APPLICATOR! IT FITS TO MY CONTOURS!!" "YES!! MY LABIA JUST GRABS IT LIKE A BIONIC CLAW AND TRACTOR BEAMS IT IN!!"


#17
You know in Accepted when they go to clean the restroom and the entire room in covered in crap? Thats what this one stall looked like.
#18
I once went to a friends house, got very drunk and spent about half hour hurling into the toilet, then i sort of slept on his heated floor, then i went back downstairs for about half hour, felt pretty ill again, so i went and threw up some more, same procedure, except this time it was just water.

That was the tip of the iceberg, later that night when i was feeling better i went to go take a piss and i didn't want to disturb anyone(his parents were asleep downstairs), so i used the downstairs toilet, which was being renovated, i heard some footsteps come down the stairs and his mum said "that toilet isn't plumbed in"...this was mid stream, so i didn't really know what to say as i was also still drunk, so i think i must have just murmered "oh...sorry" and walked out, i haven't been back there since but i saw the guys dad a couple of months ago and he was fine with me.
WHOMP

Think of that next time you are not allowed to laugh.
Last edited by donender at Feb 3, 2008,
#19
Quote by TomD03


LOL, this actually reminds me of a time I was out and my friend went to the toilet, he was there ages and I went to take a piss, there were two stalls, one was out of order so he was blatantly in the other, I went into the out of order one and starts bashing and rattling the stall door really hard. But he doesn't say a word.

So after a few mins I leave him to it and go rejoin our friends. When he comes back I ask him "good ****?" and he's like "I dunno what the **** was happening, but someone was in the other stall and the wall was ****ing rattling and shaking, scared me ****less, I couldn't squeeze my last bit out" and I cracking up so he was like "that was you you bastard!" I bought him a drink tho, so it's cool.
#20
...

There was one person in our school who took one in an urinal.

My God.
Cam Sampbell's my hero
#21
In the boys lockerroom in highschool- this one guy pissed in this other guy's locker, he was soooooo pissed (pun)
:stickpoke
#22
Quote by mr freezy
Once I saw a turd so big it didn't fit in the tiolet. I'm deadly serious.


Bono was stuck in the toilet?

Kudos if you know what im talking about.
PICTURE YOURSELF IN A BOAT ON A RIVER
WITH TANGERINE TREES AND MARMALADE SKIES...
#23
Quote by donender
I once went to a friends house and spent about half hour hurling into the toilet, then i sort of slept on his heated floor, then i went back downstairs for about half hour, felt pretty ill again, so i went and threw up some more, same procedure, except this time it was just water.

That was the tip of the iceberg, later that night when i was feeling better i went to go take a piss and i didn't want to disturb anyone(his parents were asleep downstairs), so i used the downstairs toilet, which was being renovated, i heard some footsteps come down the stairs and his mum said "that toilet isn't plumbed in"...this was mid stream, so i didn't really know what to say as i was also still drunk, so i think i must have just murmered "oh...sorry" and walked out, i haven't been back there since but i saw the guys dad a couple of months ago and he was fine with me.


I got this mate who left school at 16 to train as a plumber, on one of his 1st jobs he was installing a toilet in a brand new building which was still under construction. Realised he needed a tool/part that he hadn't got with him, So he goes back to the van, gets the thing and comes back, gone 5-10 mins tops, one of the builders had taken a big fucking shit in this toilet. It wasn't even connected to the water yet so it was just a big turd sitting in dry porcelain. It stank to high heaven and he refused to work on it til the turd was cleaned up.
#24
I went into the restroom next to the cafeteria and there was a stall with a whole bunch of **** smothered everywhere in the bowl. there was blood everywhere and it smelled terrible. I didnt know it was humanly possible to take a dump that big
#25
Quote by freedoms_stain
I got this mate who left school at 16 to train as a plumber, on one of his 1st jobs he was installing a toilet in a brand new building which was still under construction. Realised he needed a tool/part that he hadn't got with him, So he goes back to the van, gets the thing and comes back, gone 5-10 mins tops, one of the builders had taken a big fucking shit in this toilet. It wasn't even connected to the water yet so it was just a big turd sitting in dry porcelain. It stank to high heaven and he refused to work on it til the turd was cleaned up.

Lol, well i did say sorry to my friend but whenever we get onto that subject i say at least i didn't **** or throw up in there, as if its some kind of consolation.
WHOMP

Think of that next time you are not allowed to laugh.
#26
Quote by shadowtiger
In the boys lockerroom in highschool- this one guy pissed in this other guy's locker, he was soooooo pissed (pun)


That happened in my school too.
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#27
Quote by teh_Beatles
Bono was stuck in the toilet?

Kudos if you know what im talking about.


SOUTH PARK!!!!
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dwelling on past mishaps is for the weak. you must stride into the future, unabashed and prepared to fuck up yet again.
#28
Quote by itchy guitar
SOUTH PARK!!!!


Exactly!
PICTURE YOURSELF IN A BOAT ON A RIVER
WITH TANGERINE TREES AND MARMALADE SKIES...
#29
"My primary school had a smear campain. Not a political one, somebody smeared **** all over the walls."

I'm not taking credit for that, im_hungry said that a while ago IRL.
NO ONE EVER READS MY POSTS.
#30
I walked into my school bathroom in elementary school and there was a Special Ed kid ****ting on the wall.
#31
i was in the locker room at school changing for gym class, i go to a stall to take a dump and there is a big black and bright red puddle of blood with like teeth in it. I just ran out of the stall and other kids noticed it. Thank god they knew it wasn't me...
-GBD <JUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!
#32
There was this retarded guy on my old school who had this strange habit...
First he took a piss, then he walked out of the room and out of the building. Then he put his pants back on.

I remember there was loads of girls standing outside the mens room while he was in there xD

And for the most disgusting: a huge orange colored turt.. Made by my own mom
#33
This one bathroom I went in was just disgusting. Someone had wrote on the wall, "This is unaccptable." It was wrote in shit
#34
Someone had a **** next to a toilet in my high school once. And everyone was like laughing at it (All boys school It sucked.) so someone that we all pretty much hated took the blame for it. He was just trying to be cool. Well anyways, he said he'd do it again the next day. 'Lo and behold, there was a **** next to the toilet.

We all took the piss out of him for ages and he kept insisting that he was lieing XD
#35
Once, I walked into a stall at Best Buy. There was **** all over the seat, the toilet was clogged with toilet paper, the plunger was shoved down the toilet with the handle in the ****ty water, then, underwear that had **** all over it was hung from the plunger like a flag. If that wasn't enough, it looked like the **** was wiped all over the wall.


good times.
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#36
In my middle school, there was a retarded kid who never closed the stall doors and never sat down while taking a dump. He just stood there, staring blankly at the people passing by as **** fell down behind him.
Last edited by mooselord at Feb 3, 2008,
#37
Oh god, 2 years ago in school: I walked into the bathroom as normal, and went to wash my hands as I had covered them in glue. (Well... I say glue)... I look down in the sink, and voila, a freshly processed turd layeth before me.

I screamed "****ing hell" and flew backwards towards the stalls. I mean seriously, who the hell has a dump in a sink?
#38
Once at school there was a full roll of toilet paper stuck in the toilet, with a perfectly placed turd sticking out of the end. It was bliss.

Felt sorry for the janitor.

Also, somebody pooped in a urinal. We took a picture.
Quote by Jminnich500
yea last week me and my freind kyle were in the bathroom at school and this kid was takin a **** so we decided to make a piss arch over the stall and onto his face...it was priceless
#39
Once I walked into a public bathroom in a hardware store. There was poop smeared on the walls with hand prints in smears of poop. Needless to say, I proceeded to scream and run away.

EDIT: When I say it was smeared on the walls I mean there was a ****ing layer of brown all over every wall.
Last edited by doggy_hat at Feb 3, 2008,
#40
<sh1t> </sh1t>

i would have rofled but there was sh1t everywhere
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