#1
Hey, this is another of my little diddys. again, you have to hear it to appreciate it, seeing as i write my lyrics to my music. it's a pretty simple set up, just verse chorus verse chorus kinda thing. and the chorus just basically repeats the same line, kind of a AC/DC salute. AND i dont think it says much seeing as i just wrote random **** that came out while i was playing. anyway, it's a metal song..


Slip Away:

Slip into My Mind, Slip into my Soul
I am Getting Out of control
Slip into my Heart, Slip into my Pain
Why you’re still alive, I cannot explain

And I just Slip away, so I can fight another day
I just Slip away, so I can fight another day
I (DIE) just Slip Away, So I can fight another day
I just Slip Away, So I can fight another day

Slip into Disaster, Slip into Obscure
I am lethal Poison, And there is no cure
Slip in ever after, Slip into my bones
Slipping Disappointment, I am left alone

And I just Slip away, so I can fight another day
I just Slip away, so I can fight another day
I (DIE) just Slip Away, So I can fight another day
I just Slip Away, So I can fight another day
#2
sounds good : )

i like it.
"You'd stick your head in fire if I told you that you could see Hell"- Otis, House of 1000 Corpses
#4
Heyy I really like this. It's easy to relate to... must say I love the second verse.
Keep Writing!
#8
Quote by **KwoN**


Slip into Disaster, Slip into Obscure
I am lethal Poison, And there is no cure
Slip in ever after, Slip into my bones
Slipping Disappointment, I am left alone


I liked this stanza, the last line kinda was eh, it could use some work, but it fits well enough that you'll be fine unless you come up with something hands down better.

overall the lyrics were kinda blunt, but it worked out, it wasn't 'i saw a cat, it was brown.' so its good. I think that this piece was pretty good, although it was kind of short. I can't really say anything bad about it. good job.

thx for the crit on mine btw
#10
I understand entirely, most of the stuff I write is like that (which may be why the band doesn't use it.... lol )
#11
lol that's why we scream, cause you wont be able to understand it anyway.

i once wrote a song with this as the 3rd verse:
Your cry's what feeds my rage
Silly monkey in a cage
Random Words to make it rhyme
Vendetta, It's your time

EDIT: On second thought, maybe i should post that song up?
Be on the look out boys and girls! Title: Vendetta Will Wreak Upon You
Last edited by **KwoN** at Feb 10, 2008,