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#1
In light of Chuck Norris suing for the jokes, I think we need to respect his wishes and find an alternative (either that, or I just felt like creating a thread here, I'm not sure which).

Personally, I nominate David Rasche for his role as Sledge Hammer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jFPim50714&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5fR0U396jM&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crgzlRuhCL0&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEZllpX1lGo

(I just edited the actors name because I realized I had it wrong)
Quote by BearWithAGun
I've only known one man to use such a gun, and I believe I've killed him two times
Last edited by pyrochris at Feb 5, 2008,
#2
the only other man that is nearly as badass as Norris is Techno Viking... I suppose a pirate could be as well... but they would have to be half ninja/half zombie/half pirate... that would kick ass...
#4
i thought chuck norris liked the jokes? and who the hell did he sue? god?

yes.. i am referring to the man that sued god.
#6
i really dont understand norris jokes xD theyre just funny xDD how did aaall chuck norris jokes started? xD
Last edited by cedaguol at Feb 5, 2008,
#7
Quote by cedaguol
i really dont understand norris jokes xD theyre just funny xDD where did aaall chuck norris jokes started? xD


No one knows where, but everyone knows when. A really really really long time ago. A good alternative to Chuck Norris jokes would be to think of something that's actually funny.
#8
Henry Rollins.

Punks have known this for years.

Chuck Norris jokes were old 2 years ago anyway.
#9
Punk makes Rollins look bad.

Still, Rollins is a badass, and would get my vote.
Quote by raise_the_dead
I wouldnt be surprised if the first thing Varg did was sign up for WoW so he could kick some Judeo-Christian ass.


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#10
Phil Anselmo?? I remember hearing some Phil Anselmo jokes a few times.
My favorite would be "Phil Anselmo once got in a bar fight, and got his thumb cut off, his thumb later became to be known as Glenn Danzig"
#14
wow could someone please explain this sueing situation a bit more??


anyway henry rollins gets my votes, as the other guys said he just badass.

with a stare of stone.

we should get a few more candidates, then have a poll
#15
NO!!

Bruce ****ing Lee. The man who trained chuck norris and the only person to be caught on film defeating him.
#16
Quote by DaveGilmour1189
NO!!

Bruce ****ing Lee. The man who trained chuck norris and the only person to be caught on film defeating him.
I agree, but Bruce is a little, um... dead.
#17
Jack Bauer!
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#19
Quote by solitaryshell90
Phil Anselmo?? I remember hearing some Phil Anselmo jokes a few times.
My favorite would be "Phil Anselmo once got in a bar fight, and got his thumb cut off, his thumb later became to be known as Glenn Danzig"



Uhh...Glenn Danzig could use Phil Anselmo to wipe his ass...
Quote by raise_the_dead
I wouldnt be surprised if the first thing Varg did was sign up for WoW so he could kick some Judeo-Christian ass.


Final Fantasy

Cid Highwind of the Final Fantasy Elite - PM me, Ichikurosaki, Gallagher2006, or Deliriumbassist to join!
#20
Quote by Flying Couch
I agree, but Bruce is a little, um... dead.


He isn't dead he is just hiding out and charging his powers everyone knows that.
#21
Uh, hello!?!?

EVERYONE knows that Bruce Campbell is better than Chuck Norris anyways! Chuck Norris never went back in time and slayed the undead with a chainsaw and boomstick!
#26
Chuck Norris and anyother similar jokes are GAY. In the most insulting way to those who use em.


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#27
I say Arny or maybe a few Vandame jokes can be made
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#32
Darn, no one went with my Sledge Hammer idea...but he probably wouldn't have been the correct option anyway since he delivers the punchlines himself rather than others making up jokes about him . It would be like trying to spoof a spoof (which can be done in certain instances...but it is tricky - I saw a spoof of south park on MADTV that was geniously sliced with Charlie Brown. But now I'm getting off topic.)

In any case, I still like Sledge Hammer's: "I was was a man 9 years before I was born"

This one was pretty good too: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfP9q5gWKs0&feature=related
Only it is disappointing how he usually doesn't shoot people on camera. I think they had to tone it down for TV. I can't find my favorite one on youtube...but it was the one where they have the police competitive target practice... "no, it's not a silencer....this little do-dad is my own invention...I call it a loudener!"
Quote by BearWithAGun
I've only known one man to use such a gun, and I believe I've killed him two times
Last edited by pyrochris at Feb 5, 2008,
#33
I think I saw this book under "Fiction"...
Quote by raise_the_dead
I wouldnt be surprised if the first thing Varg did was sign up for WoW so he could kick some Judeo-Christian ass.


Final Fantasy

Cid Highwind of the Final Fantasy Elite - PM me, Ichikurosaki, Gallagher2006, or Deliriumbassist to join!
#34
Quote by shakes23
Jack Bauer!


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Quote by wiggy1988
more like WINcest amirite?
#35
Quote by K_Parker
the only other man that is nearly as badass as Norris is Techno Viking... I suppose a pirate could be as well... but they would have to be half ninja/half zombie/half pirate... that would kick ass...


He's got the half pirate and half ninja, but he isn't half zombie... he is half cyborg and half Jesus to make up for it!!!

Now thats 4 halves... meaning he is twice as good as any other man!!!!

LollipopSkeletonsLollipopSkeletons
LollipopSkeletonsLollipopSkeletons
#36
Quote by DaveGilmour1189
NO!!

Bruce ****ing Lee. The man who trained chuck norris and the only person to be caught on film defeating him.



He didn't teach him
Yeah, now you're gonna die wearing that stupid little hat. How does it feel?

Help me to live.


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#39
Chuck Norris sued because someone made a book called "Chuck Norris Facts". And some people might've thought that these were true. And this was bad because some of the jokes in that book had racial stuff...
#40
The main alternatives to Chuck Norris I've heard are Mr T or Vin Diesel.

Why doesn't someone just start a "<insert name here> jokes thread"?
Quote by Kensai
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... Should've mentioned I'm an immigrant... from England

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