#1
One of those that felt "good to write"
whatever... blah blah blah...
might add... probably won't...


Blooo Moon

Sleeping here all alone
Cuz I’m too afraid to care
I don’t want to lose no one
So I’m hidin’ from the wear and tear


I think loving every blue moon
For me, It might just be too damn soon
This dark ink has stained my hands
And I still wish to return some fallen sands


funny how this impresses everyone my age and then there is me... I dissmiss it as complete garbage...
Promises meant a lot back then.
Last edited by ninja monkey at Feb 5, 2008,
#3
actually it's a fairly obvious metaphor...
unless I'm wrong... If more people have problems I'll explain.
otherwise... message me.
Promises meant a lot back then.
#4
The meaning I teased out of it was that you were hiding from someone who needs your help for fear that the help that you could give them might drive him/her away from you, and you'd rather he/she continue suffering than reach out to him/her and risk losing him/her. You obviously feel guilty about using this person's distress for poetic inspiration, so the ink from your pen has stained your hands like the blood of a violent criminal's victim. However, from the reading I got, you weren't actually the cause of this person's distress, you just refused to help. So perhaps it would be more effective to use a metaphor involving washing the ink off your hands, in an allusion to Pontius Pilate's condemnation of Jesus the Christ. All in all, I think you need to be much less vague throughout the piece, though I think it's fair to focus on yourself rather than give details about the distress the absent person is suffering from, since the poem really has more to do with your abdication of responsibility as a friend or lover.

That said,

It's LOSE not LOOSE. PLEASE learn the difference!
#6
Quote by *Truly Ninja*
The meaning I teased out of it was that you were hiding from someone who needs your help for fear that the help that you could give them might drive him/her away from you, and you'd rather he/she continue suffering than reach out to him/her and risk losing him/her. You obviously feel guilty about using this person's distress for poetic inspiration, so the ink from your pen has stained your hands like the blood of a violent criminal's victim. However, from the reading I got, you weren't actually the cause of this person's distress, you just refused to help. So perhaps it would be more effective to use a metaphor involving washing the ink off your hands, in an allusion to Pontius Pilate's condemnation of Jesus the Christ. All in all, I think you need to be much less vague throughout the piece, though I think it's fair to focus on yourself rather than give details about the distress the absent person is suffering from, since the poem really has more to do with your abdication of responsibility as a friend or lover.

That said,

It's LOSE not LOOSE. PLEASE learn the difference!


Pretty much spot on... couple things I would of just phrased differently but yeah.. this is an interpretation so there is no way I can say your wrong either...

and...

I'm sorry! I typed this up quite fast.

anything you would like me to look at?
Promises meant a lot back then.
Last edited by ninja monkey at Feb 5, 2008,