#1
Howdy ya'll.

For those you who don't know me, I'm Jason (and you shouldn't know me, because this is the first time I've posted in the pit... I'm an EG and GG&A forum regular and the Pit has always been a scary place ).

I'd like to expound to you wonderful ladies and gents some words of wisdom that I've recently discovered over the last few days.

And without further ado...


When you are in bed with a girl (or guy... but I'm just going to keep saying she/her), make sure you know where both of your phones are.


Why, you ask?

Well, if you don't know where your phones are... something might happen.


Say, oh, something like while you are having sex, her phone ends up under both of you and one of your bodies ends up pushing random buttons on her phone and you end up leaving a 26 minute voicemail of you two moaning, talking dirty, and going at it on her father's cell phone.

Hypothetically.




Just some words of advice; have a good day.

Recognized by the Official EG/GG&A Who To Listen To List 2008
Quote by utsapp89
^I'd let a pro look at it. Once you get into the technicalities of screws...well, it's just a place you don't want to be, friend.
Last edited by FacingUsAll at Feb 5, 2008,
#4
Oh Snap!
PANDEMIC GROUP

Slash is trash

I has golfclaps!
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#8
brootal dude
UG's condensed package of adrenaline

i am not liable for anything stated above
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#9
Pit King of today?

I think so. way to make an entrance.
...Nothing you've ever...
...Planned on ever turned out...
...The way you planned...


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#11
that is awesome. see you back over on the gear sections!

^ and hey, i just got this phone a couple weeks ago

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#12
Hahaha that's hilarious, sorry bro.

What did the dad do?
HEEEEEEEEYYYYYYY YOUUUU GUYYYYYYSSSS
#14
Ahhh that made my day

"A wise man once said, never discuss philosophy or politics in a disco environment." - Frank Zappa
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#15
you can leave them that long? i can only leave like a 4 minute one.

my favorite voicemail was this.

i was at a persons house fixing their satellite, and phone rings, goes to voicemail, and someone picks up but its still recording. its one of the girl's b/f's and the boyfriend is like this

"hey, i really need to have sex (but the F word) with you tonight"

Girl- "i cant, im going to church tonight"

that goes on for a few minutes, and im hearing it all, it was pretty funny.
Recognised by the Official Who To Listen To List 2012


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You don't argue with tubadude on Washburn-related matters, he flosses with the G string from a set of 0.12's y'know....and it's WOUND!
#18
FacingUsAll don't die, because I need your advice on Gear related matters! I got my liscense now By the way, so what is that music store across from the White Castle in Botavia called again?
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#19
It's all fun and games until you're the father of a teenage girl.

I'd advise you to keep your guard up at all times.
You Don't Need a halfstack.

You Don't Need 100W.

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i love you slats.
#21
that's ****ing great!
The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.
#22
Knowledge is gained by studying the mistakes of others. Wisdom is gained through self-inflicted pain. You are a wiser man today and I have gained some knowledge.
Funny shit man.
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#23
+1 on what did the dad do?

WE DEMAND BLOOD!/answers

also, it made me lol.

good thread, sir. good thread.
"And after all of this, I am amazed...

...that I am cursed far more than I am praised."
#24
I had something similar actually. My phone didn't call someone but it started to record a voice memo. Recorded a couple of minutes of my own moaning :P Good thing it didn't end up being sent to someone or something like that!
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#26
Tell him you were just pooping.
None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free.
#27
lol you definately have no luck.. tell us what her dad did too u!! and if he high fivved you then you are the man
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So anyway, now i'm here feeling rather dirty knowing that I just sat in a room with 3 other guys having a wank. I had to get it off my chest
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Youre mom should have used the coat hanger to abort you as a fetus.

Douche bag.
#28


epic
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#29
I'm glad people are enjoying my situation .

Spread the word to the masses!

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Who these days doesn't have a flip phone?

That is both fail and win at the same time.


She has one of those phones that flips sideways and opens up to a keyboard, kind of like the LG Voyager.

Quote by kyurah
Hahaha that's hilarious, sorry bro.

What did the dad do?


Well...

We were at a party when she leaned over to me and said, "My dad just left me a very long and angry voice mail."

"Why?" I asked.

She calmly looked at me and replied, "Well apparently we left a 26 minute long voice mail on my Dad's phone earlier."

I sat there blankly for a few alcohol-assisted moments thinking to myself, "I don't remember ever calling her dad..."






"Oh. ****."


The extenuating circumstances make it more interesting.

First off, her family is VERY conservative and religious. She's 1 of 12 adopted siblings, all home schooled with Christianity as one of the focal points. Whenever they turn 15, the father gives them a ring that says "True Love Waits."

She doesn't live at home anymore, which is nice because they can't yell at her/ground her/sacrifice her to appease Jesus.

She talked to both her parents and had to explain the situation to both of them. Apparently it went over ok because I'm still alive.

We aren't dating, but we are moving in together (today actually) into a house with some of my other buddies. I have a feeling that if her parents ever visit, I will have to go into hiding lest they bring a super soaker full of holy water (Did anyone have that super soaker that had the turnable nozzle so you could shoot around corners? That thing was saweeeeeet).



Quote by rwalby9
Damn, that'll teach you to lock your keys.


I believe it was locked. My ass is that talented.

Quote by tubadude
you can leave them that long? i can only leave like a 4 minute one.


Apparently? I wish it would have been only 4 minutes long.

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you should be in the pit more often


We'll see. I'm usually pretty busy telling people to not buy MG Half Stacks.

Quote by CORT noob
FacingUsAll don't die, because I need your advice on Gear related matters! I got my liscense now By the way, so what is that music store across from the White Castle in Botavia called again?


I'm trying not to!

It's called Hix Brothers Music in Batavia. They haven't really had anything cool in there recently, unfortunately.
Recognized by the Official EG/GG&A Who To Listen To List 2008
Quote by utsapp89
^I'd let a pro look at it. Once you get into the technicalities of screws...well, it's just a place you don't want to be, friend.
#30
oh yea, i just remembered a funny situation with me and the g/f.

my g/f is a screamer, and her parents were still awake and heard her.

dad-"is that Vickie?"

mom- "yep"

dad-"damn, he better marry her"


i laughed my ass off.
Recognised by the Official Who To Listen To List 2012


Quote by steven seagull
You don't argue with tubadude on Washburn-related matters, he flosses with the G string from a set of 0.12's y'know....and it's WOUND!
#32
Minor update:

Apparently her dad isn't letting her take anything for our house other than her clothes.

She's possessionless.
Recognized by the Official EG/GG&A Who To Listen To List 2008
Quote by utsapp89
^I'd let a pro look at it. Once you get into the technicalities of screws...well, it's just a place you don't want to be, friend.
#33
Quote by FacingUsAll
Minor update:

Apparently her dad isn't letting her take anything for our house other than her clothes.

She's possessionless.

Damn, you're going to be broke after buying furnitures and stuff.
FOR AWESOME HANDWOUND PICKUPS, CONTACT CorduroyEW
BOOBS
Quote by ratmblink123
Good for you. Have a cookie.


But really... there's no cookie. And if there was, you wouldn't get one.
#34
26 min phone call, FUA?


hmm, who you kidding. probably more like a 3 and a half minute call.


Jenneh

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#35
Quote by CORT noob
Damn, you're going to be broke after buying furnitures and stuff.


My parentals have a bunch of furniture they wanna get rid of, so it kind of works out.

Quote by jj1565
26 min phone call, FUA?


hmm, who you kidding. probably more like a 3 and a half minute call.






Damn you, Jenny.

Recognized by the Official EG/GG&A Who To Listen To List 2008
Quote by utsapp89
^I'd let a pro look at it. Once you get into the technicalities of screws...well, it's just a place you don't want to be, friend.