Dog Barks Deciphered; Yes, Dogs Are as Simple and Dumb as You Thought

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#1
I found this interesting!

Researchers in Budapest have spent a lot of time analyzing dogs barking for some reason, and they've figured out a way to create software to decipher exactly what your pooch is saying. That's not to say that Rex is suddenly going to start saying "My, Joseph, you have been sitting around the house all day in a dreadful state. Don't you agree that it would be to both of our benefits if you took me out for a jolly stroll?", but it will let him say "Walk! Walk walk walk! Walk! Walk Walk! Walk!"

That's because, apparently, dogs have six types of barks depending on what they want or are doing. There's the "stranger" bark, the "fight" bark, the "walk" bark, the "alone" bark, the "ball" bark and the "play" bark. Knowing what these barks all sound like will allow software that decodes them to be built and, presumably, stuck in small devices on their collars. That way, when your dog barks, you'll know exactly what they want. Not that it's ever that hard to figure out anyways. They're just stupid dogs, after all, it's not like they ever want anything other than meat or a good scratch behind the ears. But hey, at least you'll know.


I don't know..
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#3
Bark. Bark bark bark. Bark. Woof.
Translate that.
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#4
Wasn't there a study where they found out that dogs had different accents or something? Like a dalmation walking along the street going 'way-ay man'
#5
would be pretty cool, id tell my dog to shut up in dog language
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#6
I would like a translation for the phrase: "Knock it off, asshole, the Moon can't hear you."
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#7
If you don't understand what your dog wants through the way it barks than you shouldn't have it for a pet.

Really, it's easy to understand a dog once you get to know it as your pet.
#8
Quote by Mad Marius
I would like a translation for the phrase: "Knock it off, asshole, the Moon can't hear you."




this is actually pretty cool.

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srsly.


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#9
Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages.
#11
Then how do you explain Lassie?!

Lassie: BARK BARK WOOF
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#12
This reminds me of that Simpsons episode where they invent the baby translator thing.
#13
Quote by LinkManDX
Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages.


That is immediately what I thought of when I read this...
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#14
one word-SNAUSAGES!!!!
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#15
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Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages.

I don't know why, but that made me laugh out loud!
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#17
Quote by ..NEM..
I don't know why, but that made me laugh out loud!


It's from a budweiser commercial :P
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#19
Let's see...only 6 types of barks?

I'm pretty sure anyone with a moderate experience with dogs can be pretty sure what they want if they only want 6 things.
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#20
There's the "stranger" bark, the "fight" bark, the "walk" bark, the "alone" bark, the "ball" bark and the "play" bark.


I believe they forgot the "food" bark.
#21
Quote by ctb
Walls!

E-Cookie to anyone who gets that.


The old advert with the guy and the dog and he was all like "walls!"

And the dog was all like "sausages!"

Was funny stuff............Cookie now please?
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#22
Quote by TheIceCreamMan
I believe they forgot the "food" bark.


I'm surprised you're the first to notice!
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#23
Quote by thrashfan
Let's see...only 6 types of barks?

I'm pretty sure anyone with a moderate experience with dogs can be pretty sure what they want if they only want 6 things.


Exactly my thoughts.


Quote by Archaon
This reminds me of that Simpsons episode where they invent the baby translator thing.


Yeah, it was the first thing that crossed my mind when I read the first post.
#24
.... Riiiiight, suuuuure. Dog bark translation software.

What next? Software that doubles your RAM? Oh, wait...
#25
Anybody remember the Dexter's Lab episode where Dexter invented the same thing?

"YOU WANNA GO FOR A RIDE?? i WANNA GO FOR A RIDE!!! C'MON LET'S GO FOR A RIDE!!

#26
Quote by ctb
Walls!

E-Cookie to anyone who gets that.


It's a shame that Walls sausages are naff.
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#27
my dog doesn't bark.



well...i've heard him bark like, 3 or 4 times since we've had him. and that's about nine years. lol.
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#28
My cat is dumber...it will try to predict where im going to walk and it ALWAYS gets itself stuck in the printer
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#29
Quote by whatamidoinhere
The old advert with the guy and the dog and he was all like "walls!"

And the dog was all like "sausages!"

Was funny stuff............Cookie now please?


#30
Quote by Vermintide
.... Riiiiight, suuuuure. Dog bark translation software.

What next? Software that doubles your RAM? Oh, wait...


is there such thing?....


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#31
Quote by Jackal58
Bark. Bark bark bark. Bark. Woof.
Translate that.

"This thread is fucking dumb"?
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#32
Quote by Demon Wolf
Then how do you explain Lassie?!

Lassie: BARK BARK WOOF
Random dude: WHAT?! There's four guys, a teenage girl and a pregnant woman and her siamese cat trapped in an old well?! And the Giants won the Super Bowl?!


tempted to sig that
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#33
Quote by Op3th
It's from a budweiser commercial :P




Such a shame we don't have Budweiser commercials in Sweden.


EDIT: Yea, and I too noticed the lack of food bark.
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#34
Quote by master
Anybody remember the Dexter's Lab episode where Dexter invented the same thing?

"YOU WANNA GO FOR A RIDE?? i WANNA GO FOR A RIDE!!! C'MON LET'S GO FOR A RIDE!!




LMAO omg yea!! the Labrador! his "lab" ahahaha. but then ended up not his. whooo..good times.
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#36
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Cats ftw >_>

(Although they are probably even more stupid)

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There ya' go, the mind of a cat.
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#37
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#39
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