#1
Hey, this is the first time i've given writting lyrics ago. I thought i'd chip in and help my singer.

Just wondering if i could get some feedback and constructive critisism?

We are a metalcore band, so that's why there's no really a structure.

Plain Existence
I wake up, filled with regret
Self hatred grows, as it all begins
The countdown, to what seems like nothing
The internal regret of what I have conceived

The want for change and separation from the heard
The inner strive for difference in a world of commons
To stand and be heard, something I shall never experience

As I arrive, to my destination
Swallowed by, all around me
My desire, to leave
Over ridden by the need to stay

Waiting for the moment were I break free
A wait that never ends
A regret that ever grows
For this is what I have conceived

This plain existence, this trap I have fallen into
The creation of my own devices
This forgotten existence, where all shall fade
A life not lived, faded into this plain existence
#2
Not bad. I find the lack of structure and rhyme upsetting, but you already went over that. I'm just into lyrics and they way they are told. Being a metal-core band, it's fine. Good ideas and phrases. My only advice for next time is try to give it a little rhyme scheme or some sort of structure. Overall, nice job.
#3
*Reported*


Read the rules, in the announcement at the top of this forum.

Wait for this to get closed, then repost.
Meadows
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