#1
Though I never knew you,
It seems I know you all too well.
And though I’ve never met you,
I still mourn the place you fell.

You are the fire that flickers out,
The light that slowly dims,
Even as I try to hold you,
You drop lightly from the limb.

Though I never knew it,
It seems I know you all too well.
And perhaps someday I’ll meet you,
Somewhere beyond the veil.


Written in about five minutes, in tribute to some kids my age who died in a car accident in a town not far from mine a few days ago.
Last edited by El Tostito at Aug 14, 2008,
#2
Wow written very well... did u ever meet them? or is it as it says in the song? Perhaps someday you will meet them beyond the veil?

I liked it good job=D

Crit if got time

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Quote by SGmaniac1021
One time I had this disease that every morning I had to open my eyes. The doctor told me it was just me waking up in the morning.


#3
No, I've never met them. Never seen them, never heard of them.

But we have had a lot of high schoolers in recent years die in auto accidents in this part of Texas. It's not good.
#4
Ah... that sucks a lot.

More on the poem...

It had good flow but right at the end it kinda lost it. The rhyming kept the flow going then out of know where there was veil. It looked like you hoped to rhyme it in a way but it just didn't work.. still a good poem
Quote by SGmaniac1021
One time I had this disease that every morning I had to open my eyes. The doctor told me it was just me waking up in the morning.


#5
Not bad. It works well as a short poem, but I think you could easily add more to it to make it into a great song that would be pretty BA with an accoustic. Very cool rhyming also.

check out all they videos on youtube
they dead serious about thuggin like that
if you ask me they are fruity
an i hope one morning they drown in there fruit loops