#1
well just some riffs i tried to incorporate into a song, still workin on it....lookin for input to see if its even worth purusing....just gettin into metal and tryin to find my way, haha....i dont usually do REAL heavy lyrics, kind of a first attempt at it...wrote lyrics in 1/2hr or so, but they work.


http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/shinedown98/

Paint a lie
Last edited by shinedown98 at Feb 8, 2008,
#2
It's a cool song. I bet it would sound wicked if you sang the lyrics instead of just speaking them.

Anyway, I'm sure you were going for a very dark/heavy sound... so thats understandable. I would turn the vocals down a little in the mix and it would sound good.

I like the guitars wailing in the background, I just would like to hear them more.
All my photobucket pics are dead so no links to my guitar build threads.
My Music
#3
yea i didnt tweak the mix very well, if and when i finish it, ill try to do that better, but i needa come up with a solo and some more diverse riffs, and right now at my current level its gonna be a challenge, haha...and thanks for returning crit...tho mine arent super helpful...i try,. haha
Last edited by shinedown98 at Feb 8, 2008,
#4
awesome idea. i like the dark brooding vocals.

the leads in the riff felt liike iron maiden i dont know why pretty sweet. rifs were pretty fun. when you werer growling it seemed a bit forced, and i could hear the punches in the mic. sometimes it felt off rhythm but had a cool tone overall.

guitar seemed to go off sometimes too, but thats ok, u recovered.

one thing that hurt was that it seemed very busy, it felt hard to feel the pulse sometimes, maybe try and not make it seem so busy (cut out some tracks). the wailing guitars in the beginning were pretty cool too, maybe throw some fx on them, thatd be awesome.

thanks for the crit by the way!
dude, what about an actual solo in death metal instead of that poof from linkin park. Think of Pulse of the Maggots - Bed Of Razors


#1 MEMEBER OF THE OFFICIAL THRASH METAL FAN CLUB (PM URE FAV BANDS TO ME TO JOIN)
#5
thanks for the crit, yea the mic punches i think was cuz i had sensitivity up too loud on my program, and it was clipping...if and when i finish this, ill turn that down a lil and itll help...yea had others say same thing bout busy, and i wasnt sure how the parts would clash, didnt work out quite how i had it mind. yea im not much of a singer either, and def these kind of vocals, first time givin it a try, lol
#6
Re-record the guitar lines in the verse lines, they are very off beat.

Other than that, sounded cool. Good job.
Ham Wallet
#7
the drums should be a little louder, the vocal volume sounds fine to me though, the only complaint i have is there's a guitar at the beginning thats playing like one note over and over and it kind of gets annoying. Sounds good though!
#8
i like the vocals they were pretty good and suited the song, but the guitar seemed a little slopy in that the transistion between chugs and chords seemed a little off, also you went out of time with the drums a couple of time, but over all its a good atempt, with more practice it would be a lot better me thinks.

c4c

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=783080

cheers james