#1
Im not finding all the answers
But maybe ill find another way
to survive another day
because of all these different seaons of my life
but maybe i can figure things out, somehow

But now that ive been brokendown
dragged my head out of the clouds
walking round this town
but i have the time
for things to become fine, sometime

I don’t care what you think
I don’t care for you say
I will do think my own way
Cos I don’t care

but things are falling down around me
what was so close now seems so far
seems everything ive ever loved has gone
why must they fade into the dark

so i walk along this broken road
gone too far to make it home
so i continue one my own
floating here all alone
but all will be fine, given time

but now that things become so dark
destroyed by this blackned heart
but things will become clear
some day some way, all you need, is time

I don’t care what you think
I don’t care for you say
I will do think my own way
Cos I don’t care

but things are falling down around me
what was so close now seems so far
seems everything ive ever loved has gone
why must they fade into the dark
#2
Quote by FallOutBoy07
Im not finding all the answers
But maybe ill find another way
to survive another day
because of all these different seaons of my life
but maybe i can figure things out, somehow

I like the seasons of my life idea, although I would usually associate this with the aging process. But the constant cycle through the seasons works well here. I have to admit struggling to understand the flow around 'because' - some punctuation might help?

But now that ive been broken down
dragged my head out of the clouds
walking round this town
but i have the time
for things to become fine, sometime

The construction seems a bit off here, you start of with "but now that", which kinda suggests that's allowed you to do something but that something is never mentioned, i.e. 'now that x has happened I do y'. If you see what I mean....

I don’t care what you think
I don’t care for you say
I will do think my own way
Cos I don’t care

The second and third lines either need punctuation or there's some unnecessary words in there, i.e. they don't make sense to me as they currently stand.

but things are falling down around me
what was so close now seems so far
seems everything ive ever loved has gone
why must they fade into the dark

no comments on this

so i walk along this broken road
gone too far to make it home
so i continue one my own
floating here all alone
but all will be fine, given time

ditto, probably the best stanza

but now that things become so dark
destroyed by this blackned heart
but things will become clear
some day some way, all you need, is time

You start of with "but now that" again without taking it anywhere, so see the comment for the 2nd stanza


In general I think you need some punction to highlight the flow and meaning of how some of the lines run together. There's also a fairly liberal usage of the word "but", which is a touch annoying, however (sic ) I can't think of a better word to suggest - perhaps something to consider if you ever revise it.

Other than that I think it's a pretty good job
#3
Quote by osbourd2
In general I think you need some punction to highlight the flow and meaning of how some of the lines run together. There's also a fairly liberal usage of the word "but", which is a touch annoying, however (sic ) I can't think of a better word to suggest - perhaps something to consider if you ever revise it.

Other than that I think it's a pretty good job

wow man thanks.. thats all really helpfull much appreciated...