Page 1 of 2
#1
whats the funniest thing you've heard/said while high?

mine's from my friends jack and rossa, while smoking heavily

Jack "hey, this is a really tiny room"
Rossa "maybe we're just taller than it?"
Jack "hey yeah, its cause we're high!"

*cue half an hours worth of uncontrollable laughter*
i guess these are kind of a "you had to be there (and you also had to be high)" kind of thing...
Fun Animal Facts #23: The pit can skeletonise a cow in under three minutes
#2
'Mmm, haaaa, naaa, I need, some uh...fish to ejaculate bread.'

My friend was completely trippin'
#3
while high, my friend once said.. "OMG. This song is SO good. It's like an orgasm on my face!"
#4
Get us a beer

What you done to it

I know uve done something to it

ill get my own

Unless u knew id know and uve actuly done something to the rest
#5
"oh my god... my brain cells seem to be dying at an alarming rate. And what's that odd feeling? is it... addiction?"
VENUSIAN
FB SC BC TW
Patterns In The Ivy present ethnicity on an intriguing and dedicated level. ~Ambient Exotica
A mesmeric melange of yearning voice, delicate piano and carefully chosen samples. ~Lost Voices
#6
"d00d!!!"
(everyone looks at him waiting for him to say something)
two hours later everyone is still waiting and starting like morons
Quote by Ross724
whats harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree

nailing a live baby to a dog
#9
****, I don't even know...once a long while back, I was at a friends house and we were all just chilling out with some bud and a bunch of 40's and someone says to this guy Buddy to turn the lights on cause it was starting to get dark and he jumps up and turns on the light to this china hut that was against the wall. The guy that said to turn the lights on starts cracking up and says "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, no no, HAHA, the other light dude HAHAHA!!!!" Then I start laughing in the same manner and then the others take that as a cue to do the same. Not a great story but it was a great night....I'm sure I have funnier stories but I can't remember
#10
I once seriously thought I could speak Norwegian.

Also:
"Nate, nate, hey Nate, Nate, nate nate nate. Nate"
"What?"
"I don't wanna say it."
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#11
Quote by snipelfritz
I once seriously thought I could speak Norwegian.

haha oh god i can't stop laughing...
Fun Animal Facts #23: The pit can skeletonise a cow in under three minutes
#13
Whilst really stoned and trying to convey that Gina Davis is actually rather tsy in the stuart little films, I turned to my mate and said:

Dyu know who's fit? You know stuart little??

For some reason I then stopped, and then he burst into laughter, then I did

another story whilst stoned at my dealers, with a couple of my mates, all 3 on the couch, and one's real down, I go to pat his leg in a comforting way, and say "there there dude", and then everyones staring at me...and I slowly notice its my other mates leg im patting

yeah...had to be there maybe
Quote by the humanity
I'm just joking Moog. you know nothing can tear our friendship apart, not even the fact we are miles apart, I am right there beside you, yelling, "Chug it, ya little wimp!"
#14
"whoa man get the **** away, i don't want to like, spill"

he thought he was a glass of orange juice, didn't want to tip over

its amazing what acid will do to you
#16
Quote by bendystraw
"hey"
"yeah"
"24"
later:
"you know what's funnier then 24?
"what?"
"25"



that made me lol

heres mine,

phone rings
*ring ring*
"CHICKEENN!!!!"
*other person hangs up*
May the Force be with You.
Carmel is hawt
#17
Me and my friend were at a party.

There was this girl he REALLY liked that was going there, so we had set out a plan to get her

He was off his rocker and me, him, her and my other friend were standing in a hallway talking.

He just randomly said to her "I've got a double bed... whats on tv tonight would you like a battered cod?"

Cus he works in a chip shop and he was trippin majorly. It was the funniest thing I'd ever heard. True story.
#18
Quote by bendystraw
"hey"
"yeah"
"24"
later:
"you know what's funnier then 24?
"what?"
"25"




/thread.

For real.
#19
Quote by iron.zeppelin
"whoa man get the **** away, i don't want to like, spill"

he thought he was a glass of orange juice, didn't want to tip over

its amazing what acid will do to you

#20
It would have to be either

*while outside after toking real good pot, then walking through a garden*
"I shall name it cherry pot, and he will be king of the pots *giggles*
Hehe, I have cabbage, see my cabbage... Cabbage hehe"

Or

*talking about moose hunting*
"well, you see, they wont touch alcohol untill they've gotten their moose, so they'll be standing out in the woods, taking a piss, and a squirrel comes along and its like ' WHAT THE F UCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT!'" The way his body jerked when he said it, I could not stop laughing
call me Shelby

#21
Unhigh friend: "Wow I didn't know you smoked weed."
Super high friend: "WHOA WHOA WHOA, its ok. I go to your school."
--
...and the world sighed in relief
#22
I've got another one, it was the first time I got high...or one of the first times. There is this abandoned house that my friends and I would go to to get high. The first time we went inside we found all this weird ****. Gay porn, and homo-erotic letters and poems all over the place, it's like whoever lived there didn't want to shell out the cash for carpet so they coverd the floor in there perverted gay fantacies. Anyway, I expressed my distaste for the place, no one seemed to care for some reason. We gathered around and passed around a joint my buddy had. After a while we were all doing alriiiiiiiiiight, and we leave the house. The grass and trees and what not are all overgrown outside and it reminds me of a jungle, so I Scream "EVERYBODY GET DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!" everyone was like "what the ****s going on?" I scream "GET THE **** DOWN!!!! Do you not hear the bullets wizzing by your heads? prepair for a long one fellas..." Then when we get away from the house I say, "Guys, don't lose me man..." "huh?" "Don't lose me guys, I know where I am now, but I don't know what's going on later and I don't want to get lost. So don't lose me man..."
#23
Quote by bendystraw
"hey"
"yeah"
"24"
later:
"you know what's funnier then 24?
"what?"
"25"

It's true, Spongebob is always high.
#24
My freinds were going to toss a frisbee and invited me. I replied "We both no I'm in no condition to drive a frisbee! WHAT THE ****!" I realized what I said and rolf'd for like 3 hours.
PANDEMIC GROUP

Slash is trash

I has golfclaps!
Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss


Quote by boreamor
Your avatar is the first thing that has made me laugh in a long time. I applaud you


Quote by superslash1994
Lmao, your avatar earns you a golf clap.
.
#26
#1:dude, theres a rastafarian on your trash can!
#2WTF?!?!
the next day my friend looked at it and it turned out to be a picture of a trashcan, on top of a trash can.


#1:dude i think the car is breathing!
air conditioner lol

#1:dude were the hell are you taking me?
#2:relax were just going home man
#1:THIS ISNT THE WAY HOME UR TRYING TO KILL ME ARENT YOU!!!
#2:stfu were going home
*person 1 dives out of car going 45mph because he thinks driver is going to kill him lol

*these are all things my friends and/or friends of my friends have said/done. ive never done one drug
Gibson SG Special Faded(Super Distortion/PAF Pro)
Carvin V3M
Jet City JCA2112RC
Taylor 114e
Ibanez SR300e

Quote by Delanoir
In 60 years, there will still be Opeth.
You know why?
Death ain't got **** on Mikael.
#27
I got another one, much more recent and probably shorter. I hadn't gotten stoned in a long time and was really feeling it or this **** was laced. We were driving from one house to another and I was tripping the **** out on the scenery. I said "Dude, I think you missed the turn way back there." then I look outside again and realize we're nowhere near our destination. I spend the rest of the car ride laughing and saying "what the ****, what the ****, what the ****." we get to the house and I say "Watch out the fence is gonna hit us!!!" We passed it and I said "****, that thing was comming right for us."
#28
For some reason I said, "Sine Cos Law". This was being high and drunk together, and then puking all over my clothes, wow that was bad.
One Love
#29
Quote by iron.zeppelin
"whoa man get the **** away, i don't want to like, spill"

he thought he was a glass of orange juice, didn't want to tip over

its amazing what acid will do to you


That's bloody brilliant.
#30
Quote by Captain Howdy
haha oh god i can't stop laughing...

I am so serious too, but I was only really saying random gibberish like Sven Svenly.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#31
Quote by Darth_Qurashi
lol am i weird if i act like that sometimes but never been high?

no man i do it all the time for laughs
Gibson SG Special Faded(Super Distortion/PAF Pro)
Carvin V3M
Jet City JCA2112RC
Taylor 114e
Ibanez SR300e

Quote by Delanoir
In 60 years, there will still be Opeth.
You know why?
Death ain't got **** on Mikael.
#32
I got another one, the same night as my last post. My friend and I leave the party we were at. I was a little drunk and high, he wasn't. I end up screaming obsenities about my ex-girlfriend and kept saying let go break into her house and get the **** I left there back. He said no, then I kept screaming "That ****ing BITCH!!!!" he says "Quiet down, there are people over there." I say "****, they're here to kill us...but not if we kill them first." We went back to his house and jammed on the coolest **** we've ever played, luckily we had a tape recorder.
#33
Apparently I once made a hate speech about the jewish and black communities, while there was a leftist meeting downstairs...
#34
Not really that good, but I was just at the station and saw a couple of my mates. I went over to say hi, and saw they had a box of mini weetabix with them. Munchies. I put my hand in to take some, only to find they were trying to recreate the Kellog's Crunchy Nut advert, and had put milk into the packet.

It was all soggy and horrid.

But it explained the hundreds of plastic spoons around them.
#35
Quote by iron.zeppelin
"whoa man get the **** away, i don't want to like, spill"

he thought he was a glass of orange juice, didn't want to tip over

its amazing what acid will do to you

Yeah sure. I've heard that urban legend numerous times.
#36
Me and my friend Juan were on a roll one day.

1. We smoked, then he bought some dill flavored Lays potato chips from Walgreen's. I had twenty bucks. We got back to our friend Matt's house, then remembered that we passed a Pizza Hut. He was like "dude, let's get a cheese pizza...", and I finished by saying, "...and put dill chips on it?" Then at the time time, we shouted "DILL PIZZA!"

2. An hour or so later, we got a pumpkin (this was right around Halloween time) and attempted to create a bong out of it (didn't work too well.) I sat there in silence for almost 45 minutes before saying, "why are we using a pucking fumpkin!?" The room erupted with laughter.
#37
either "dude you're wearing the army helmet" (i didn't even have a hat on, let alone a helmet) or "dude you know when you like jump to like the planet"
Quote by AzureNight
Yeah sure. I've heard that urban legend numerous times.

ya i've heard that one several times as well, doesn't mean it's not true but i still find it hard to believe that several people had the exact same trip.
Quote by rage6945
girls dont get braces in their vaginas buddy
Last edited by rhcpwhitey at Feb 8, 2008,
#38
a friend(while explain with hands expressions): WOAH! DuD3!! this smoke feels like small crystals exploting in my throat, and then crawling up to my brain and mixing all the world into it. ok ok ok,, ok ... ok .. ok .okok ... ok .okokok ....oko.. one more time.. ok ok lets do it......(smoking)... WOAAAAAH!!
#39
What I come to think of is...a night where we did LSD, weed and alcohol. I was a little high and when we sat there unpacking all out funny supplies, I did the "This feels alittle bit dope-ish of us" and we laughed our arses off. Guess you ought to have been there.
#40
I just remembered another 'adventure' that well, I would explain in a story, but there's a video:

WARNING: Only watch if you wanna watch approx. 8 minutes of footage of four guys stoned out of their minds.

I was really shaking with the recording (for obvious reasons) and yes, my nickname is Chippy (don't ask.) Also, I wasn't exactly "earthed" when I did the editing, if you noticed the canned laughter. I personally thought it was a good and funny idea at the time. (I missed a 'f***' in the parking lot.
Page 1 of 2