#1
Last week i posted my new song on here if you remember it, it was called No name.
i thank the people who commented on it and i took there suggestions and redid the song. now it is way better.
its in my profile under, "still no name" because i haven't been able too think of one.

but i would like some comments on how i can make it better, and how i can think of a name for it. ive been only playing a year, and have only been composing for a couple weeks so any suggestion will help. thank you in advance

and also i'll crit yours if you leave a link
My Gear

Epiphone Les Paul Standard
Epiphone Elitist Paul Mccartney Texan
Orange Tiny Terror
Vox Valvetronix AD 30
Vox V847 Wah
Metal Muff EQ (broken )
Boss RC-2 Loop pedal

Me playing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0unpDZFIWA
#2
Your rhythm is ALL off, especially on your rhythm guitar, and it seems to get sloppier as it goes on (loop it next time). Soloing is cool too, but once again, you're very sloppy. I'd say if you worked on your timing, you'd have a very tight tune here.
#4
Agreed, its a catchy tune and the ideas are cool. It needs rhythm to make it work.

Maybe you need to turn up the drums while you're recording... possibly put them into headphones and crank it so you can really follow the beat well.

Oh yeah, I guess check mine out on my profile.
All my photobucket pics are dead so no links to my guitar build threads.
My Music
#6
I'm going to have to agree with everyone else. YOu've got some really good ideas man! It's just your rhythm guitar starts to go out of time as the song goes on which starts to make your soloing sound worse. If it was all on beat it would sound really good. Also, i think the tone could be a little better for your distorted guitar and make sure pick all your notes cleanly. You have great potential. keep it up!
#7
Hey good job, man. You've got some great rhythm and solo ideas, but as everyone else said, the timing is an issue. This song has a lot of potential.

Thanks for critting mine!