#1
I will leave this faithful world
knowing that im alone
i will leave this faithful world
knowing im unknown


this problem goes away,
yet resurfaces
one step, i could fall
im on the edge, and thinking

what if i jump?
what would happen
would i be
unfurled

I will leave this faithful world
knowing that im alone
i will leave this faithful world
knowing im unknown

I will leave this faithful world
knowing that im alone
i will leave this faithful world
knowing im unknown


i think its time i fall
or take a step
into a new life
im on the edge,
And believing


so long, cruel world
now you know im leaving,


so long, cruel world,
(whippered) seeings believing

I will leave this faithful world
knowing that im alone
i will leave this faithful world
knowing im unknown

SO LONG
(so long)
GOOD BYE
(good bye)
Im GONE
(im gone)
FOR NOW
(for now)
x2


second song please crit, tell me what you think about it, if you liek it or not or anyway help in improving it
#2
Its good, but just a little too repetitive. I think the first stanza could be replaced with a verse. But its a really good song. A little emo, but not too bad. I liked it.
#3
it's kind of repetitive.
it's alright.
emo, not bad, not super.
in-between :]
keep up the good work.
#4
If the world is faithful, why do you want to leave it? I don't understand the title at all. Also, some of the rhymes are way too simple and cliche to be taken seriously.
#5
thanks yeah its a little emoish but yay emo just means emotion and song have emotion right hahah anyway,
grevhead221: thanks im so glad you liked it,
NICKOLASrox: I know its a bit repetitive, but yay im only begining to write songs, i will keep up writing though
S2S: umm no sure on that one i kinda wrote it as i was goign through i really tough time with my relationship, i know its cliche and simple but its only my 2nd song,


any more comments? im thinking of making it into a song but not sure any crit? on that?