#1
Ok so i was piss bored of constantly learning other band's material. So i decided to write my own song Lol. Pretty much postin it on here to see if its totally original and if you guys like it. No vocals as of yet. Its just the GP and the Midi.

Crit for Crit by the way

Cheers guys.
Attachments:
BAND SONG WOOT.zip
I play guitar =]
Last edited by pizzabox at Feb 9, 2008,
#2
A riff in it remind me crazy train... =)
I don't think the bass line should be playing exactly what the guitar's playing, so I think you should compose a cool bass line based in the chords that are playing. Drums are okay, but I didn't like them that much in the guitar breaks. I also think you should get some bad ass Breaks (drums) when you're changing from the main riff to a verse or break. And vice-versa.

Still the main riff was pretty cool. rock on
hands down.
#3
Well im not a drummer lol, or a Bassist. But ill take that on board thanks . Ive never really listened to any of Rhoads, but yeah the first like two or three notes of the riff are the same lol. Coincidentally its in the same key aswell. But a key change and a tiny variation can fix that. Thanks for the feed back
I play guitar =]
#4
No, I don't think It's too similar. You don't have to change key. It's fine nice work there, just try to smooth those changes bettween verse, break, chorus Rock on
hands down.
#5
You really should upload it to your profile or something so we don't have to download a zip file. I'm scared to download any zips with recent tojan horse type viruses that eat hard drives.
All my photobucket pics are dead so no links to my guitar build threads.
My Music
#6
Quote by zeroyon
You really should upload it to your profile or something so we don't have to download a zip file. I'm scared to download any zips with recent tojan horse type viruses that eat hard drives.


Lol, I was scared too, but I took the risk and it's an harmless file
hands down.
#7
sounds good. I would change the acoustic guitar at the beginning's rhythm to something a little more interesting than straight eighths though, also the.. style, for lack of a better word, gets kinda repetitive after it runs through it a few times, you should change the drums up so there's more variety. The chord progression is cool though very catchy, keep it up!
#8
You're supposed to put this in the Tabs and Chords forum. This forum is for recordings only.
I'm a person.
#9
****, sorry I didn't know that. Thanks for pointing that out lol. Im a nub here.

But thanks for the feedback anyway guys.

Really Appreciate it.
I play guitar =]
#11
i thought the solo was exactly what you told me not to do. i mean, you complain about using triplets in your solo, yet you do the exact thing. and your sixteenth runs are very "scaly" i mean i thought the solo was rather predictable, just progressions.

so while i thank you for giving me criticism, don't criticize "using triplets" or "being scaly" and then tell me to go look at your solo instead, when obviously your solo is no better than mine.
wait what
#12
hey thanks for the crit on mine man....I agree kinda reminds me of crazy train. couple things....I really think that the interlude where the acoustic guitar plays the intro with just he hihat should be an electric with just a hihat like at the end of peace of mind. I really like the solo..ALOT. its very cool. but yah like it man keep it up. I wanna hear this one recorded with the band
Quote by gregs1020
Brett has been saving for a splawn for 4 years
countries have been toppled in the time it's taking, revolutions won got a black pres

yawn


Quote by bubb_tubbs
When he finally gets one it'll probably be televised like the Berlin Wall coming down.
The end of an era
#13
Very good, I didn't think I was going to listen to it all the way through but I did! Catchy riff. But the second riff got really boring, my suggestion is to fade into an extra chug to it in the same beat to give it some variation. It'll be a great song. Also add another riff with the same feel after a while it got predictable. It might not hurt it to go faster too, but it is still great just the way it is. The solo rocked man, it'll be better on a real guitar of course. Good luck!
#15
I think the tempo should be a bit higher raise it only like 10 bpm and it sounds better imo.
It's pretty good though for a first composition.
The chorus riff is pretty catchy though, rest of the song is pretty good and the part after the solo could have been a bit more, it just seems boring.
The part i enjoyed most was the guitar solo, was pretty cool, when i first started writing i couldn't make solos haha.
anyway, good work man. keep at it and you'll get better at writing.
good stuff. \m/
#16
i like it, the solo is good but the song gets a little repetative. but other wise its really good
My Gear

Epiphone Les Paul Standard
Epiphone Elitist Paul Mccartney Texan
Orange Tiny Terror
Vox Valvetronix AD 30
Vox V847 Wah
Metal Muff EQ (broken )
Boss RC-2 Loop pedal

Me playing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0unpDZFIWA
#17
dont worry about changing key/crazy train (saw 1st comment). I would move the tempo up a hair if I were doing it. Definitely something to start with. Were you planning on putting real instruments to it? This made me think of the first song I wrote and how much better yours is than that monstrosity. Well done sir and keep up the writing!

Mine for crit: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=12770216#post12770216