#1
i dunno really know what genre it would be.
but i really love this piece so far. i have lyrics for the song written up already, im just trying to build a song around.
i've been working on it for about 14 hours on and off. i have multiple versions but this is my favorite so far.
I just want some opinions, if this is any good or what.
what i should maybe get rid of or add?

C4C.

(edit - update, still working on it, my friend added some parts to it. haha which needs changing -_-
Attachments:
TDTSTB v0.2.zip
Last edited by champloo at Feb 9, 2008,
#2
Wow, thats really really good, the best Ive saw on here, the only problem to me is that really high part that only last for 1 bar close the beginning, sounds out of place with no bass strings ringing.

9.7/10!
#3
This caught my eye because I have a song called "Black Sky"

I quite liked the intro, but I have a feeling even here that the tuning is going to get a bit annoying...One thing this DEFINATELY needs is a good bass track, because it feels kind of empty. Apart from that, there are some pretty nice melodies in here, even if the drums do sound a bit random at times =] 7/10
#4
hahaha, thanks dude, its not close to being done yet aha, but what note do you mean what measure is it in?
#5
Bar 5 doesn't flow... you could use it at the end of the riff, though (bar 25?).
Hearing more of the song, I think you're overusing it.
Bars 69-72 should change with 77-80 remaining the same, and so on...
The last 4 bars don't justice to the rest, lose 'em.

Don't crit mine, they're old xD
#6
Measure 5, I can hear what you were trying to do with it, and it doesn't sound bad, just a little out of place to me.
#7
hahah, yeh i cant get some of it to sound how i want, but im gonna keep workin on it and post an update later today or tommorow.
#8
Sounds really good.
What's the deal with bar 50-51? get rid of it I think.
The part that starts at bar 69 goes for too long, you should shorten it to half.
And the drums definately need work, they're supposed to add Strength to the song, but they don't seem to do that in your song.

They're the only things wrong with it that I can hear

I love this song though.
Keep going with it, and don't forget to post the finished product so I can hear it

Also, it's funny cause my band's name is going to be As The Sky Turns Black

~Loki <3
~ Please Crit One Of My Songs? ~
~_My_Song_Threads_~


Quote by IndieLee
The_Bass_Poet, I want your babies.
Last edited by The_Bass_Poet at Feb 10, 2008,
#9
Nice and complex stuff, I really really dig the intro! This sounds very good, it really sounds like you know exactly what you are doing (the opposite of me, hehe). The song never gets boring and constantly surprises me with new stuff, and it doesn't sound like mistakes either, very nicely put together.
#10
Critting as i go.

The intro rocks! Your really talented at writing.

The little solo thing over it could be a little cooler :P but it still fits.

Getting kinda repetive as i go though lol.

Bar 69 onwards is sound pretting dam cool. Though its getting repetetive now.

Smooth tempo change.

What a gay ending lol. MAJOR CHORD FTW

and wheres the awesome guitar solo!!?!?!?

crit mine please! https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=782667
I play guitar =]
#11
ahaha, thanks for the crit.
the solo thing at the beginning, i have been working on, its not really a solo, just a lead melody. I have also been working on a solo for the song, haha yeh im working on the ending.. i wasnt fond of that part, or the weirdly timed part before it. Song isnt quite done yet. But so far what i have fixed i think its sounding alot better. Check back for the final product!