#1
Okay, in the file there's 3 GP5 files, and 1 gp4 file, along with 2 midi. The GP4 file is the "finished" product. The 2 MIDI are the last stages of it, and the 3 GP5 files are the progression. I put all this in because as time passes I'm not sure I liked how I wrote it.

This started at the beginning of the week.. I'm not really sure why, but I really got an urge to try something like Dimmu Borgir. So I did. I had a lot of plans for this song at the beginning, but after the first day those sort of died away and changed.

The song as it is is missing drums, bass, and some other(s). I could use some input on how to fix it up.

I hope you all enjoy this... And It's RSE ready.... I personally think the chorus sounds better with RSE on than without.

As always, I'll do my best to check yours out if you actually give me some critique (as in don't just say "This wasn't good. Check mine out?" etc lol).
Attachments:
The Slythys Decay.zip
#2
This seems to have some meaning when the guitar comes in. Kinda like halloween music but cmon i think you should make something normal thats decent. This has good parts but the beginning just wants the listener to stop listening to the song. But i got through that part and then came this nice cool spooky sliding sound witch i think is wicked but the rest of that song had good riffs and such but you need to skip that beginning cause that just made me want to shut off my media player lol. 5/10 but cut off the beginning 5.5/10 nice try cause it was ok but umm you cant teach ownage to someone new. Try writing something out of the blue and then try making it into a song. Thats what helps me...
Click My Library to see what I've written

My Library
#3
I like the creepy ambient vibe the intro has with the dissonant chords and such, and the rest of the song has some pretty cool riffs in it as well.

I'll give it a 7.5/10, because it seemed like it kind of lacked direction at times. Overall pretty good though.

I just posted one of my own, crit?

http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=784650
#4
Firstly, I would like to point out that due to the limitation of midi, I don't think it sounds like what it could sound like, I'll try not to let it affect my judgement . Also in the GP4 file, u got intro 1 and intro 2 the wrong way round =).

I'll review the GP4, since it seems the most logical place to start

Well, to start of with, I think the first part started off quite well. However the choir ended to abruptly, it should have kept getting higher, till you got an almost screaming like noise, then shoulda faded out, in then the Timpani would come in (this is how I would envision it)

In the second part, I don't think the Pizzicato strings worked well. I don't think the Bells worked well, it was a good idea, but I don't think they worked. Everything else was fine. I especially like it when the Brass section comes it, sounds pretty sinister then. I also love it when all the instruments cut out and its just the bells again, think that worked pretty well.

The intro ending was cool, however I don't think the timpani cutting out to drums worked.

The verse, as it is, was ok. It sounds ok and seems to fit the function of the verse, buts its just so bland, its almost as bad as the bass line to most dragonforce songs .

The Chorus sounded alright, until it came to 86 and 87. You had this really awesome sound going, then this ARGGGHH sound. It just sounded really horrible. It just didn't seem to flow. Didn't particularly like the break either.

Break 2 sounded pretty good. However once again, the bells made it sound crap. It sounds better without them. The timpani was a good idea, however all it did was add noise.

Bread(down) was ok. However I i dont think the G# in bars 176-178 was held long enough. 179-182 i enjoyed cause it reminded me very remotely of a Pokemon piece of music (don't ask why )

The outro was probably my favourite part. It was just so sinister and cruel, it sounded cool when 207-214 built up to the climax, then suddenly just give way softer part (not very much softer though mind you ). However, I do not believe that the guitar part at the very end belonged there. Just didn't fit.

Analysis, its a good theme, and some really good stuff, but it however needs alot of improvement. However you can ignore me if you wanted because:
(1) I don't really listen to a lot of dark music. It may be that you intended some parts to sound like it did where i thought it was dodgy.
(2) This is my first serious review, so it may sound harsh, but I had no intention of being so.

However, it would sound much better if it was complete (meaning with bass, drums and etc etc)
#5
not bad man. I mean the dissonance was unbelievable. i really enjoyed the intros with the timpani and bells. i was hoping that the drums were gonna kick in any minute but they never did. also, maybe write a bassline on a 6 string bass to give it a heavier feel. thought the verses were repetitive. however i did like the little sweeps by the guitar. overall id give it a 5/10. try to give your next song a little more melody. also put some drums.

check out my songs if you can.

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=780047
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=783501
#6
Quote by adaeha
Firstly, I would like to point out that due to the limitation of midi, I don't think it sounds like what it could sound like, I'll try not to let it affect my judgement . Also in the GP4 file, u got intro 1 and intro 2 the wrong way round =).

Lol, yeah. The intros are like that because I'm not sure of intro 2, and intro 1 was written as the original intro, but then I went in front of it and made 2. =P

Quote by adaeha
Well, to start of with, I think the first part started off quite well. However the choir ended to abruptly, it should have kept getting higher, till you got an almost screaming like noise, then shoulda faded out, in then the Timpani would come in (this is how I would envision it)

I can hear what you're saying... And yeah, that'd sound good.. But I was going for a creepy feel, and having the choir stop like it did left you hanging, right? That was the purpose of it so that it would lead into the next part.

Quote by adaeha
In the second part, I don't think the Pizzicato strings worked well. I don't think the Bells worked well, it was a good idea, but I don't think they worked. Everything else was fine. I especially like it when the Brass section comes it, sounds pretty sinister then. I also love it when all the instruments cut out and its just the bells again, think that worked pretty well.

The intro ending was cool, however I don't think the timpani cutting out to drums worked.

Hmm. I was really iffy on the pizzicato parts, and the bells were my favorite part actually. lol And yeah, I meant to get rid of those drums, but somehow they stayed in. lol

Quote by adaeha
The verse, as it is, was ok. It sounds ok and seems to fit the function of the verse, buts its just so bland, its almost as bad as the bass line to most dragonforce songs .

Yeah.. I agree the verse was very bland. Like I said in the OP, I had great plans for this, and it's not necessarily finished. I'm wanting a string part over the verse with possibly some brass and something else.

Quote by adaeha
The Chorus sounded alright, until it came to 86 and 87. You had this really awesome sound going, then this ARGGGHH sound. It just sounded really horrible. It just didn't seem to flow. Didn't particularly like the break either.

86 and 87 sound a LOT better with RSE on. And the break sounds better with RSE on as well, but I agree it's not the best thing there. lol

Quote by adaeha
Bread(down) was ok. However I i dont think the G# in bars 176-178 was held long enough. 179-182 i enjoyed cause it reminded me very remotely of a Pokemon piece of music (don't ask why )

Lol. I actually wasn't really pleased with that part. I wanted something brutal, but I couldn't make anything that sounded how I wanted, so I just put that in. I think I rewrote that part literally 12 times.

Quote by adaeha
Analysis, its a good theme, and some really good stuff, but it however needs alot of improvement. However you can ignore me if you wanted because:
(1) I don't really listen to a lot of dark music. It may be that you intended some parts to sound like it did where i thought it was dodgy.
(2) This is my first serious review, so it may sound harsh, but I had no intention of being so.

However, it would sound much better if it was complete (meaning with bass, drums and etc etc)

Lol, thanks. And don't worry about harshness, those are usually the most constructive (unless it's just mindless flaming) posts. And I agree, if it was complete it'd be a lot better.
#7
You're either a raving lunatic or brilliant beyond words. ..I'm still trying to wrap my head around this.

It was utterly chaotic in a patterned way. That start/stop of the tubular bells v. the rest of the instruments in the introduction reminded me of the movie Ring. Not exactly the "movie", but more of a white noise that's come from hell.

My only actual complaint was the lead guitars. With the exeption of the solo bit in the outro, they just felt like they could do better if they faded in the first few notes to give it some sort of dynamic. It might even give that outro solo more of a kick.

I just loved the structure of the song. A definate shock piece.
#8
Dude the intro is amazing. So chaotic, yet beautiful.

Intro end wasn't too good. I didn't really like it for some reason. Maybe it was because there was no timpani. I loved the chorus though.

Break 2 was great, but it needed a better transition.

Bar 176 is a bit too... dissonant? Maybe it would sound better with real instruments.

Overall it was pretty good. Finish it up.
#9
I honestly didn't start liking it until bar 40. That entire verse part totally killed it for me...the chorus however was enjoyable. Usually I dont like songs with THAT much dissonance, but for this It didn't feel...like a bunch of random notes. You really, really tried to make it chaotic and I'm pretty sure I get what you're going for. I'd say you succeed. The breaks are nice, I like the similarities to the intro, but the break(down) was really...really awful. I would just totally trash that part. The outro was nice, good way to end it.
#10
overall
not really a good song
but i can tell you put a lot of work into it

just know tht when writing dimmu borgir like stuff, you only want like one string track and one brass track for your entire synth part then over dub 4 guitars with 3rd chords for the heavyness

but if this was in like a horror move it probably fit perfectly

so abou 6-8/10 depending on its use
Quote by metul kult
You know when Attack Attack is ripping off your music, you're onto something


twitter: @victorstaygold