#1
and, yes I had my doubts
from down the hallway we'd trade shouts
you with your poison-tongued put downs
with laser-guided precision
and my heart screamed replies
that you'd never hear in my cries
"Each twist of your knife, fills me with life
and it's the only way that I feel alive!"

but I'm still ****ing dead inside

I'm as sterile as a germophobic doctor with a vasectomy.
and I'm purposely vulnerable so go ahead and get the best of me.
It'll give me something to say something to do something to see
anything is better than this lack of fertility.

And I feel like Smokey the Bear because my fire is under control
A pyro blast of epic proportions reduced to mere coal
I can't believe I let myself fall into this rut.
My fists unballed, my mind at ease, my eyes forever shut.

How can it be that I'm laying down to die
with the goals I've set for myself, that just won't fly
I'll beat a dead dog, I'll beat a bloody pulp
as long as I believe, as long as I have hope

and It may look grim, but there are a few shreds that remain
maybe I can conjur myself up to living again
she's just a girl with a scalpel and plans for a lobotomy
just a girl who tried to suck all the will out of me.

and, yes I have my uncertainties
"no I'm not ready! close the curtains, please!"
but rest assured my friends I'm not too far gone
you know what they say: the show must go on
I've got guitar in hand and heart and mind
and hopefully I won't be interrupted this time
there are things in this life more important than girls
So pick yourself up and change the ****ing world.