#1
This is a new song that my band has been working on.
Has kind of a Thursday vibe.

Let me know what you think.


I'm so afraid to close my eyes
Because I know what lies inside
A sleeping pattern to kill the bats
The captioned prayers
So God can write me back.

Complication-Angst-Avenge
The constant aches, it never ends
Complication-Angst-Revenge
The constant aches, the archer escapes.

The broken promise of open ears
A child no one wants to hear
So turn your shoulder and walk away
You'll soon regret the ****ing day
You left me here
To deal with these

Complications-Angst-Avenge
The constant aches, it never ends
Complication-Angst-Revenge
The constant aches, the archer escapes.


Hey sinner
Won't you come down here with me?
Hey sinner
Won't you come down here with me?
Hey sinner
Won't you come down here with me?
Hey sinner
Won't you come down here with me?
Hey sinner
Won't you come down here with me?
Hey!

The archer.
Escapes.


//Misterchainsaw//
#2
I don't mind this.

I imagine the Complication-Angst-Revenge is screamed, as is "Hey sinner..."

I'm curious to see why you have called it the archer, however. Is it like bow and arrow archer, or is there like some other meaning here? I don't mind this at all, though. Good job.

Mark
#3
Its a really good song. The only problem i have is the last two lines of the second verse really messed up the flow for me. You should work on having the two verses be the same amount of lines. other than that its a really great song. i enjoyed it.

crit mine? its called oblivion. if you can't find it, just search it.
#5
yeah, I called it the archer because the archers in war were considered some of the most dangerous men on the field, at the time period. The chorus, with all of it's "angsti-ness" refers to all of the symptoms of depression, then that final release of the inner rage.

Catch my drift?