#1
v1
you can see the fire
when he opens his eyes
pure hatered
and evil inside

you can smell the anger
running through his veins
hes seeking revenge
ready to rage

ch
your gonna pay for this
im not gonna stand here
you better stay away
im gonna make you pay

v2
you can feel the pain
that haunts his mind
like a bad dream
that will never be fine

you can taste the blood
that was left behind
he saw it all happen
the whole crime

chorus
bridge
chorus
#2
This is boring. Full of blunt cliche lines that have been written by millions of teenage kids, millions of times.

Try and create something new and exciting, read the works of the better writers on here and read more in general from a varied cast of authors. Try imagery that hasn't been done to death - fire in his eyes, bad dreams etc. Increase your vocabulary so you have a bigger pool of words to express yourself, at first you may need to employ a thesauras heavily but after time it will come more easily.

At the end of the day though, if you're content writing essentially vastly mediocre and cliche songs, carry on.
#3
as already said, its too cliche. u can pretty much use any words, just not worn-out cliches. id rather read a line that i dont understand but that makes me wonder than a cliche that ive heard a thousand times before.

like this dylan-line f.e.

Well, I got the fever down in my pockets.

u dont have much clue what its about (not at a first glanse at least) but its still one of the best lines ever.