#1
"Why not?" said the headcrab oficer back to John Freeman.
"Because you are headcrab zombie" so John Freeman shot the oficer in the head and drove off thinking "my brother is in trouble there" and went faster.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=OHxyZaZlaOs
Quote by -BlackZeppelin-
Psh. I can can play fleshlight acoustically.

*masturbates*
#2
Quite the slow day in The Pit...
When you saw me sleeping
thought I was dreaming
of you...


I didn't tell you
That the only dream
Is Valium for me