#1
It's on my profile, called "My Hero"

http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/zeroyon/

I've been working on this one a little on the side while trying to complete my first song, Why Won't You.

These are all working titles and could change eventually. I just like to give each song a name that reflects what I was feeling when I wrote it.

My Hero is a sarcastic title. I wrote it and played it drunk after watching the State of the Union Address.

The original song ends after the second chorus, and then goes off into a bridge concept we were working on. My friend TJ just went wild with it, and there's a bit in there that will find its way into the finished product.

Let me know what you think of the concept of the song. Don't mind my mistakes too much. I will re-record everything.
All my photobucket pics are dead so no links to my guitar build threads.
My Music
#2
sorry, put comment in your profile.
There's a 95% chance what was written above here was very stupid
#3
I liked the effects on the introduction and then how drums come in and eventually the guitar. I like your riffing style but i'm still not sure about your tone. I like the drums aswell - what are you using? I also like how you took the effects used on introduction and placed them in what i'm assuming is the chorus. At around 2:45 I liked how your riffing started to get a bit heavier.

The only problem I think you have is with the ending. I thought it would have sounded better if you had a solid ending - insted of a fade-out. It's not really much of a deal, though.

Overall, a good song.

There's a link in my sig if you wouldn't mind taking a look.

EDIT: Nevermind , you've already seen it. You owe me one!
Last edited by 12Jim34 at Feb 13, 2008,
#4
All that riffing in the end was my friend rocking out. He's the guy who teaches me how to play, and he is far better than I. (although he's a bass player, he's been playing guitar almost just as long)

I left it all on there and just chopped it at the end so I could listen to his ideas and pick which parts I like. I plan to work some of it into the song in the final cut. Again, this is just a roughed in idea.

What did you think of the layering of the two riffs? There's a really high one in the background and the low one in your face. I was thinking of writing them to go together and mix like that, and probably adding the high riff to the whole song for some ambiance.

Oh, and I remember your song, Jim. Very good job on that.
All my photobucket pics are dead so no links to my guitar build threads.
My Music
Last edited by zeroyon at Feb 13, 2008,
#5
thanks for critting my song.
at first it felt kind of like an early linkin park kind of thing, until the guitar came in. Which i think is very cool. Thats a vert cool riff at the beggining, although it needs some kind of melody to make it even more interesting. The next part is also real cool, but again it needs some kind of melody. The little interlude after that with the sixteenth note triplets i felt was really cool. I also like the keyboard parts, there could have been more, and they could have been louder. the "guitar solo" part was probably my favorite, it wasnt overdone and really held my attention. The lead part should be quite a bit louder though. Really great job overall.
#6
really like the guitar tones you use.....both the lead at the beginning and the distorted rhythm in the 2nd section. solid riffs as well. also really like the part with both the distorted rhythm and the trebly lead. tight guitar playing as well.

thanks for the crit by the way.
#7
Hey mate, thanks for the crit. typing as i listen...

Cool tones you have going on on all the guitars and in the intro. Maybe try and get some kind of lead guitar line melody going on in the verse type place? Thats if you want to pursue that avenue that is but I think if you put one over the top it would make this song really shine, i get loads of ideas for one in my head just from listening! Put it in!

Good work mate
#8
There is actually no keyboard on this song at all. There's a drum arrangement in midi and that little percussion loop in the beginning, but no synths yet. My other song uses some crafty synths to flow the song along better, and I plan to add some into this one as well.

The high notes in the beginning are played on my guitar. I'm just playing out like the 3rd and 7th or something on each chord of the chorus (which is really simple). I was screwing around when I did it, and it went together like a puzzle. I liked the combination so much I held onto it.

I've been considering dropping the high part from the intro and finding a harsher way to lead into the main riff... so it has a harder impact when it breaks in. I just didn't want to do the same thing I did on my last song.

Thanks for the comments!
All my photobucket pics are dead so no links to my guitar build threads.
My Music
#12
Quote by SkeleRG
how did you have your axe set up in the beginning of the song?


It's played on an HH Strat tuned Drop C with 12-56 Ball "not even slinky's" on there.

I'm playing it up on the 2 and 4th string, if I recall.

Wait, by beginning, you meant the intro?
All my photobucket pics are dead so no links to my guitar build threads.
My Music
#13
this is pretty coll apart from the few timing issues and mistakes but hey its jus ta roough demo, that transition at 2:45 is a bit shoddy, its not smooth at all, im not a huge fan of the tone in the into, its too chimey, im not a huge fan of the riff around the 3 minute mark, i dunno it kinda seems like its not in key, maybe im going crazy i dunno, i also hope the the song doesnt just fade out and u come up with a cool ending for it

anyway the song is sweet cant wait to hear the finished version


crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=786990
#14
Yeah, that is a rough take, as I said above. I will re-record everything after I work out the arrangement and stuff.

The transition at 2:45 is after the second chorus when my original song ends and my friend is just jamming out on the same guitar coming up with ideas. The whole bridge is just improvised and I have 5 different versions of it. I was messing around when I layered two versions of it on top of eachother, knowing that they would go out of key at some point.

As I said above, I've been thinking of dropping that intro and doing something different. You got a suggestion? Do like the chimey sound when it comes back in the choruses? If not, then suggest something different.

And it will have an ending!
All my photobucket pics are dead so no links to my guitar build threads.
My Music
#16
nah dude the intros fine i think the guitar is a little too shrill if u know what i mean, id mellow it out a bit maybe add a bit mroe delay, make it really dreamy then punch in with the distorted guitar

thanks for the comments on mine
#17
That intro tone is actually something I produced in the computer. I played it clean and then went nuts with a flanger on Sonar.

Would you change the tone in the chorus as well, or just the intro?
All my photobucket pics are dead so no links to my guitar build threads.
My Music
#18
It took awhile to kick off, I like the heavy chord progression. Great distortion. Good incorporation of the little effect lead. The fake drums you are using sound really clicky, but hey they serve its purpose. The chord progression makes very vocal "friendly" which is a good thing. I like they breakdown part at the end, it seems like you have everything in place. Make that solo/lead louder.

thanks for the crit on mine!
Originally posted by J_Dizzle
THAAAANK YOU GoodCharloteSux is god