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#1
Inspired by the fact that I just accidentally jizzed all over my science homework..

I usually dont start stupid immature generic pit threads...but I felt the situation called for it
"Imagine all the people, sharing all the world"
-John Lennon
#5
Quote by Punk Rocker
Inspired by the fact that I just accidentally jizzed all over my science homework..


Pretty stupid, but funny as hell.
Last.fm

WE ARE THE MUSIC MAKERS
AND WE ARE THE DREAMERS OF THE DREAMS
#9
Cuz I sometines do it on my knees on my bedroom floor (try it...it feels so good on your knees) and my sciene homework was laying around on my floor for some reason.


"Imagine all the people, sharing all the world"
-John Lennon
#11
heh, funny story,
my mom comes in whilst im watching porn, she doesn't see it, i close it, shes showing me something, so i jump up really fast and jizz in my pants while talking to my mom,
that sucked so much
Quote by RPGoof
I feel dirty just reading that word. Grindcore... EW... I need a shower

Quote by stratkat
music is my meth equivalent
#12
My mom's rug, a concrete floor (of a public bathroom), my own leg

EDIT: ^^

OTHEREDIT: To the guy below me... Shamu?
#13
If I told you, you'd understand why I'm banned from SeaWorld.
When you saw me sleeping
thought I was dreaming
of you...


I didn't tell you
That the only dream
Is Valium for me
#15
Quote by Td_Nights
If I told you, you'd understand why I'm banned from SeaWorld.


Do tell Td.
Quote by Aftertime
Thanks Mr. Heafyman! you're an absolute legend
Quote by Ex'sAndOh's
Porn is everywhere. Look around.
Porn is in the forest, in your parents bedroom, in the sea.
But most importantly, in your heart.
Quote by Hypnotisation
I take dumps all the time! I R TURDBURGLAR!
#16
Quote by Td_Nights
If I told you, you'd understand why I'm banned from SeaWorld.



Inside Shamu's tank...or on the whale itself?
#17
One thing you don't wanna do is knock out a crafty one while your mrs is asleep next to you in bed. She was proper mad the next morning when she got up and the bedsheets came with her.
Quote by Karvid
You win this thread. And UG. I haven't actually lol'd at a post in a really long time. Thanks for changing that. I expect a sig


He expected this.

Something you definitely need to know
#18
Quote by Td_Nights
If I told you, you'd understand why I'm banned from SeaWorld.



A Spermwhale???


That was lame...
Nighty Night keep your butthole tight
Quote by AlexiSinergy
I heard my mom talking to her friend about going to a ****ing dildo party!
#19
the side of my computer is covered in jizz streaks accumulating about 3 years worth
GEAR


VOX AC15 / AC4
Fender MIM Sunburst Strat
epiphone les paul custom in white
Yamaha FG730s
The Tweak-O fuzz pedal
#20
Quote by Sw00t
A Spermwhale???


That was lame...


Humpedback whale....well it is when he's done with them.
Quote by Karvid
You win this thread. And UG. I haven't actually lol'd at a post in a really long time. Thanks for changing that. I expect a sig


He expected this.

Something you definitely need to know
#22
Alchohol.

Chloroform.

Shamoo's blowhole.




....


wonder if this Valentine's day will be better....
When you saw me sleeping
thought I was dreaming
of you...


I didn't tell you
That the only dream
Is Valium for me
#23
^Hahahahaha, that's amazing!
E-married to ilikepirates

Quote by bloodtrocuted93

How are you so fucking awesome at music?


>¦<
¦
#24
Ceiling of my car. Was getting a BJ then this girl backed out at the last second. It went all over the ceiling. For some strange reason I thought that car was the coolest thing ever, so I was crazy embarassed and mad.
#26
Quote by daniel.mycoe
One thing you don't wanna do is knock out a crafty one while your mrs is asleep next to you in bed. She was proper mad the next morning when she got up and the bedsheets came with her.



Superman dat hoe
Originally posted by ForTheOptimists
anal seepage diffiently takes the cake for me. Congratulations the_pick_gnome you are one sick twisted person :]
#27
girlfriends eye

college application form

my pants

my shirt

my wardrobe door

my tv remote (where the batteries go)

my phone

thats all the not-so-normal places i've jizzed on
Quote by Samnung
im gunna rape u

Quote by GuitarManiac09
Stay away you freak....I dont want you spreading your hideous crab population..




METALLICA AT WEMBLEY 08/07/07
#28
Quote by the_pick_gnome
Superman dat hoe


I don't know why that was funny
Quote by Aftertime
Thanks Mr. Heafyman! you're an absolute legend
Quote by Ex'sAndOh's
Porn is everywhere. Look around.
Porn is in the forest, in your parents bedroom, in the sea.
But most importantly, in your heart.
Quote by Hypnotisation
I take dumps all the time! I R TURDBURGLAR!
#29
oh man that must have sucked


and to the guy up top...howd you manage inside a bannana?
"Imagine all the people, sharing all the world"
-John Lennon
#30
i cummed on this girls chest, and it was a ridiculous amount and super watery haha
Endorsed by Framus Amps


Quote by primusfan
you shoulda lynched that nigger.

*spits in spittoon and feels up his cousin*
#31
In 8th grade, at the end of the year, my history teacher was being an ass about me not turning in my textbook. (Or, rather, I thought he was being unreasonable at the time.) So I deliberately refused to turn it in for a week, and jacked off several times a day, smearing the results on the cover/in the pages, etc. Then I turned it in. I felt awesome about it, and to be honest, I still think it's one of the best ideas I've ever had.
When crying don't help
You can't compose yourself
It's best to compose a poem
An honest verse of longing
Or a simple song of hope...
#32
in my mouth?

is that an acceptable answer? I almost choked to death for God's sake
--
--
I'm Always Thinking...

--
--
#33
Quote by Punk Rocker
Cuz I sometines do it on my knees on my bedroom floor (try it...it feels so good on your knees)



thats wierd as fuk and also sigged <3
#34
Back in the day when I used to get some...My girlfriend's eye...Her eye was red for a while.

A trombone mouth piece, when I was 13, I was just curious ok?
#35
Quote by axeslinger01
i cummed on this girls chest, and it was a ridiculous amount and super watery haha

Son, that's what we here call Urine.


Ur-in-potent!

When you saw me sleeping
thought I was dreaming
of you...


I didn't tell you
That the only dream
Is Valium for me
#36
Quote by axeslinger01
i cummed on this girls chest, and it was a ridiculous amount and super watery haha

cummed? What are you, 4?
Quote by sum_ugly_man
Back in the day when I used to get some...My girlfriend's eye...Her eye was red for a while.

A trombone mouth piece, when I was 13, I was just curious ok?

Dude, your stories never seem to disappoint
#37
Quote by sum_ugly_man
Back in the day when I used to get some...My girlfriend's eye...Her eye was red for a while.



oooooooooo! Red Admiral! Nice!
Quote by Karvid
You win this thread. And UG. I haven't actually lol'd at a post in a really long time. Thanks for changing that. I expect a sig


He expected this.

Something you definitely need to know
#40
Quote by aznmetalhead93
my guitar


wtf ..... thats..ummm....... normal
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that is the sex