#1
This is another song a friend of mine are working on...


You say your giving up,
and your friends pull you down..
But I think your giving in

You say you need my help
but your so far away
I'm close enough to be
your shoulder

So if you want to stand against all beliefs
First, you must fall

CHORUS:x2
Hold onto your instincts
let go of your habits
you want to live for the moment
so reach out and grab it

Its a slow return
but a quick recovery
your back to being the man
that you should be

the sun will rise
but the moon still falls
you can stop the ringing
if you answer my calls

CHORUS:x2
Hold onto your instincts
let go of your habits
you want to live for the moment
so reach out and grab it


Destroying your past
recreating yourself
your ready to quit
your ready to start..


CHORUS:x2
Hold onto your instincts
let go of your habits
you want to live for the moment
so reach out and grab it
(The light reveals the real truth,
hidden in the dark is the real you)
#2
Quote by acousticsex18


You say your giving up,
and your friends pull you down..
But I think your giving in
Okay, explain this, "you say you're giving up" and "but I think you're giving in" otherwise good start

You say you need my help
but your so far away
I'm close enough to be
your shoulder
Okay again, "but you're so far away" and "I'm close enough to be your shoulder" not as good.

So if you want to stand against all beliefs
First, you must fall
Really good, quite a strong statement.

CHORUS:x2
Hold onto your instincts
let go of your habits
you want to live for the moment
so reach out and grab it
Good, use some words with more impact though, the third line is lacking it especially.

Its a slow return
but a quick recovery
your back to being the man
that you should be
I quite like the first two lines but I felt that the next two weren't up to par

the sun will rise
but the moon still falls
you can stop the ringing
if you answer my calls
Watch for contradiction with other stanzas. Otherwise good, nice simple wording.

CHORUS:x2
Hold onto your instincts
let go of your habits
you want to live for the moment
so reach out and grab it


Destroying your past
recreating yourself
your ready to quit
your ready to start..
Really great, but the second line doesn't seem to flow.

CHORUS:x2
Hold onto your instincts
let go of your habits
you want to live for the moment
so reach out and grab it
(The light reveals the real truth,
hidden in the dark is the real you)
I like the new lines quite alot.


Pretty good, just watch for contradictions and the spelling of "you're" also, like I said, it needs to have impact, something that we're going to remember this piece for. It takes practise to get the "wow" factor, keep practising, you show real promise