#1
This is my first time posting lyrics so let me know what you think...

Everything

Funny how you're never listening
When I ask you where we're going wrong.
Funny how you look the other way
When I show you where we should be now.

I can't take this pain that you put me through everyday.
I tell you what's wrong, you just turn to me, smile, and say:

Everything
Is gonna be alright,
It's gonna be alright.
Everything
Is gonna be alright,
It's gonna be alright.

Picking up the pieces of our lives,
Trying to put them back together.
But they just won't fit the same way twice,
We'll never be the same as we were before.

I can't take this pain that you put me through everyday.
I tell you what's wrong, you just turn to me, smile, and say:

Everything
Is gonna be alright,
It's gonna be alright.
Everything
Is gonna be alright,
It's gonna be alright.

Why won't you
Let go of all these fantasies inside your head?
Sever these threads
that are keeping us together 'till the end.

I can't take this pain that you put me through everyday.
I tell you what's wrong, you just turn to me , smile, and say:

Everything
Is gonna be alright,
It's gonna be alright.
Everything
Is gonna be alright,
It's gonna be alright.
Everything
Is gonna be alright,
It's gonna be alright.
Everything
Is gonna be alright,
It's gonna be alright.
Last edited by Neil Watson at Feb 14, 2008,
#2
Quote by Neil Watson
This is my first time posting lyrics so let me know what you think...

Everything

Funny how you're never listening
When I ask you where we're going wrong.
Funny how you look the other way
When I show you where we should be now.
Sort of generic, but, It's still not bad. Shows there's a conflict.

I can't take this pain that you put me through everyday.
I tell you what's wrong, you just turn to me, smile, and say:
Again, sort of cliche, but still adding concept. She (he?) doesn't want to put up with problems; they want to turn the other way.

Everything
Is gonna be alright,
It's gonna be alright.
Everything
Is gonna be alright,
It's gonna be alright.
Nothing special, although it could be a great sort of sing-a-long (which, if done right, are absolutely amazing)

Picking up the pieces of our lives,
Trying to put them back together.
But they just won't fit the same way twice,
We'll never be the same as we were before.
I love the third line; that's very original. Still adding concept. Good job here.

I can't take this pain that you put me through everyday.
I tell you what's wrong, you just turn to me, smile, and say:
See above

Everything
Is gonna be alright,
It's gonna be alright.
Everything
Is gonna be alright,
It's gonna be alright.
See above.


Overall, I liked it. I would suggest throwing in (not THROWING in, put thought in to it) an interlude or something. If this were to be a song, I would definitely put in an end chorus where you repeat those lines. Very powerful, if done right. Pretty good piece, albeit a bit short. 8/10

Crit mine? Snowstorm in the sig. Thank you.