#1
Another song that I wrote when I had free time today, based on the 'Say goodbye to today' part. Thank you in advance for any criticism and advice you may throw my way.


Tomorrow Comes Now

A single man
One in a sea
Not what he thought he'd be
It's too late
To find regrets
Respect the past's tests
Too much to say,
Too much to do
I'm sure you'll stumble too
In the wake of
Yesteryear
See just why you wound up here

Now say good bye to today, and to days gone by
No time left to wonder why
Set your sights on a new day's fate
Because tomorrow doesn't wait.

Turn the clock
An hour back
You can't be saved from what you lack
A change in sight
A bit more light
Can't keep you from another fight
The dream you had
The other morn
Forecasts that which could be torn
Prepare yourself
For unknown
Your remaining will you've already shown

Now say good bye to today, and to days gone by
No time left to wonder why
Set your sights on a new day's fate
Because tomorrow doesn't wait.

Tomorrow comes now
Blink of an eye
We turn full circle
To watch today die
Our fates are not
Written in stone
We choose our way
Story of our own.

You werent ready
For fate's test
You fell behind with the rest
I'm here to say
Riding on treason
Everything happens for a reason
You still choose
What you will
You make your say, choose your fill
Yesterday
Paved the trail
For us to get up and set sail

Now say good bye to today, and to days gone by
No time left to wonder why
Set your sights on a new day's fate
Because tomorrow doesn't wait.

Tomorrow comes now
Blink of an eye
We turn full circle
To watch today die
Our fates can only
Show us how
Choose quickly,
Tomorrow comes now.


I'll try my best to do C4C.
#3
Quote by freakypop
way to long

songs can be long, that they are long does not mean they are bad, at all.


i like your way of putting things, perhaps there where things that could have been noted, but i can't find any, i really wonder what kind of rhythm and music you have in mind for these lyrics
#5
Quote by Msu_Man04

Tomorrow Comes Now

A single man
One in a sea
Not what he thought he'd be
It's too late
To find regrets
Respect the past's tests
Too much to say,
Too much to do
I'm sure you'll stumble too
In the wake of
Yesteryear
See just why you wound up here

I like this verse, it sounds to me like something that would be sung with 2 people, one person singing one line and the other singing the next and so on. Also it seems like this would be something that would be played fairly fast. The one part I dont like is 'respect the past's tests'. other than that its good.

Now say good bye to today, and to days gone by
No time left to wonder why
Set your sights on a new day's fate
Because tomorrow doesn't wait.

I love the first two lines. At first I didnt like the last two, but when I re read them they stuck. In my head I had the first two lines being sang fairly slower than the verse, then the last two being sang just like before.

Turn the clock
An hour back
You can't be saved from what you lack
A change in sight
A bit more light
Can't keep you from another fight
The dream you had
The other morn
Forecasts that which could be torn
Prepare yourself
For unknown
Your remaining will you've already shown

Good. The rhyming of 3 consecutive lines works well here, 'fight' seems kinda forced but it works so its cool. I really dont like "the other morn" and thats the one major flaw in this entire piece IMO.

Now say good bye to today, and to days gone by
No time left to wonder why
Set your sights on a new day's fate
Because tomorrow doesn't wait.

Tomorrow comes now
Blink of an eye
We turn full circle
To watch today die
Our fates are not
Written in stone
We choose our way
Story of our own.

I love "to watch today die" very good verse I can't say anything bad about it.

You werent ready
For fate's test
You fell behind with the rest
I'm here to say
Riding on treason
Everything happens for a reason
You still choose
What you will
You make your say, choose your fill
Yesterday
Paved the trail
For us to get up and set sail

very very good, "i'm here to say" doesnt really fit, though.

Now say good bye to today, and to days gone by
No time left to wonder why
Set your sights on a new day's fate
Because tomorrow doesn't wait.

Tomorrow comes now
Blink of an eye
We turn full circle
To watch today die
Our fates can only
Show us how
Choose quickly,
Tomorrow comes now.



Very very good song, I really enjoyed it.

my song is in my sig under "Shadows in a Dark Room" if you want to crit it.