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#1
Well, if someone had to die (not saying they do, just hypothetically), what is your method of choice? Certain methods are messy, yet highly poetic and potentially satisfying, like disemboweling your enemies with a samurai sword perhaps. Others are kind of passive-aggressive and leave chemical evidence behind, like poisoning, which in this day and age would take only hours for the authorities to figure out where you bought it, what credit card you used, what you got in that big silver package for your sixth birthday and so on...

So consider the beauty, honor/nobility, passion of your killing as well as the consequences. Remember - you have to get away with it so you can kill again!

So here's mine...

I was considering stabbing. Stabbing is an underutilized killing method nowadays, much less favored than shooting someone. Shooting is lame (unless it's with a rail gun or perhaps an old-fashioned gat from the cowboy days.)

Stabbing produces a preponderance of blood, though. So what to do? Well, a quick review of anatomy combined with the fact that a stabbing weapon, left in, will actually stop the bleeding.

See, bleeding will kill you, but it's very, very messy. So you want to actually do something more direct, like severing the spinal column. Granted there is the issue of the CSF (cerebral spinal fluid), but there are mere ounces of it verses liters upon liters (or gallons for you dimwitted Americans.)

Also location. Since a mess inevitably be made I would stab my victim in the shower. This is perfect because the body can be washed down and any body fluids can be sent into the sewer system.

One drawback is they could most likely shut off part of the sewer and localize the killing to an area of a few blocks, perhaps. This is why it's important that no one hear the screams of cries of the victim!

Next problem: disposal. That's a different post.
"Virtually no one who is taught Relativity continues to read the Bible."

#2
i think see men in white coats heading in your direction...

get them to commit suicide
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#5
untraceable poison if there is one silent but deadly :P
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#6
It worries me that you have this so well thought out...
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#7
An over A smash followed by grabbing a capsule quickly then throwing it knocking them off screen.
#8
vaporize them...
no body-no crime
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#9
Quote by Bubonic Chronic
Stabbing is an underutilized killing method nowadays,

Where the hell do you live?
#10
AR-15 shot to the face works beautifully
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#12
1. inject victim with ebola, and lock in house with gun, person will shoot him/herself
2. Strip clothes
3. ??????
4. Profit


#14
one way could be to turn up the hot water heater up, so when they shower you lock em in when they turn on the water.(yes i know, they could turn the water off) just don't let em out. another way could be to place them on a rooftop while they're sleeping and then push them off when they wake up, if that doesn't kill them then you're screwed.
#15
Quote by Bubonic Chronic
I was considering stabbing. Stabbing is an underutilized killing method nowadays, much less favored than shooting someone.


guns for show, knives for a pro
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#16
Or how about a trace poison, like Mercury, which could be found in the environment?

Your killing could go on for years while your victim mysteriously develops tremors and their neurological system begins to slowly deteriorate, and they are falsely diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease.

Little did their weeping family know they have been poisoned by you for the last 16 years, pouring a milligram of Mercury into their coffee at work every morning! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
"Virtually no one who is taught Relativity continues to read the Bible."

#17
Side kick to the throat. It takes about 9 pounds of pressure to crush your trachea, anyone could do it. I don't think it can be repaired either.
Dickless.
#19
Quote by MoleMania
rip out their anal tracts from the mouth.

Pretty.
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#21
Geez guys, don't give him ideas!
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#22
easy...sneak into their house at night, when theyre sleeping, or, just get them alone...invite them to your house...go up to them from behind and chloroform them...knocks them out cold before they even know what happened...then, burn the body, and I mean, incinerate. No traces to be found, only way you can get caught is if someone knows the last place he was at was your house...so do it elsewhere, and just sneak him into your own car to take him to the burning site.
#23
even if u did kill them in the shower with modern day science they could still see there was blood
#24
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W W
#25
Quote by polio23
even if u did kill them in the shower with modern day science they could still see there was blood


Truth.


F*ck stabbin him in your shower, challenge them to a sword duel and slay them in a field far from society. You won't get caught so long as your awesome enough not to get stabbed yourself
#26
Quote by farlige-john1
/|
/ |
^ ^ / |
\\___// / /
/ o o \ | |
( O . O ) / /
\ U / / |
/ \ | /
// \\//
w|> <|w/
|> _ <|/
| / \ |
W W

You phail
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I think I love you Tobysaurus!

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God damn, you've given me a boner Toby!
#27
I think a much more interesting thread would be: How would you kill someone if you didnt care if you got caught...basically, try and kill them with enough style to make national news....

3 ideas come to mind for me:
1) A musket, thats right, a musket. Why?...Why not.
2) Old fashioned guillotine...imagine the police walking in on that mess.
3) Drug them, and skin them alive...then throw them in a bed of salt...yes, that one makes my stomach crawl.
#28
Easy. Stab them, attach bricks to their feet, lob them in the middle of that really deep sea trench and throw the knife with them.
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#29
Like this.

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#30
crank the volume up 2 12 put the amp next to their ears strum really loud then smash ur guitar over their head.. rock on. lol
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#32
no no no! If you're new to killing, then you HAVE to keep your distance. It's an unwritten rule. A cheap rifle bought at a trade-show plus a homemade silencer from PVC piping and some various other common household materials. Don't go for the head...a center mass shot is best for the aspiring hitman. Leave, dispose of the gun/silencer/gloves/clothes/shoes. This style of course is most suitable for getting away with murder. All those stupid "I want to make a statement" killers always get caught. Good luck!

By the way, all posters are now being tracked by the FBI and/or Interpol


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#33
Hit them over the head with a large stick. Then throw them in one of the things that is used to cremate people. and turn it on. Then throw the ashes in the ocean.
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#34
Amputate both arms and legs using sterile surgical methods so they don't get off easy with an infection. Then just leave them in a ditch with enough water to drink (which of course would mix with their urine and feces.)

Starvation is the worst way to go.
"Virtually no one who is taught Relativity continues to read the Bible."

#36
1. Dart with tranquilizer in it. Make sure it's a strong tranquilizer so it only takes a little amount to knock someone out and preferably gets washed out of the system fast.
2. Pack the said persons throat with snow. They will suffocate and die. Then the snow will melt because of the body temperature inside (as it takes a while for it to decrease in temp.) and that water will go in to the stomach.
3. Ta da.
#37
Insects. Toss them naked into a tube crawling with flesh-eating insects.
"Virtually no one who is taught Relativity continues to read the Bible."

#38
stab them with an icicle the evidence will just melt. to get rid of the body dissolve it in sulphuric acid or biological washing powder in a bath and wash all that remains down the drain.
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