Alright, I wrote this one about this girl I like, but........ well....... just read it........

PS, before commenting, this is my second finished work, and my friend has already pointed out that in some parts there's a beat off. Those parts are like that because of the music I plan to play along with this song, not because I can't count syllables.

Verse 1 There's so much I could say to
try and help you understand (this feeling)
But when I try to explain,
will you run, or take my hand? (take me away)

Tomorrow might already be too late
You might be gone by that time.

Chorus Will this secret I keep inside
ever find it's way to you?
And when it does, will you go hide,
or will you walk along with me?

Will I cement my unknown fate?

Verse 2 I wish that I could tell you
everything I want to say (secrets and lies)
But if you don't share this feeling,
will you leave and run away? (far from here)

This war inside my soul
won't stop until you come.

Chorus again

Bridge My heart is home to a gaping hole,
where I am hiding.
Only you can find this nothing,
and save me from (save me from)

*Guitar solo *

Then chorus again, and it's done.

So, any comments are welcome, but none that are just like 'wow, you suck' or 'this is great, look at mine!' If you're gonna comment, tell me why it sucks or why it's great, don't just post for the rush of posting (incase any of you do actually get a rush from posting).
i think its great
it shows how much you really like her and most guys don't have the balls to admit that.
i think she'll love it. you should give it to her.