#1
so, here's the skinny. a couple months ago my brother and his friend needed an amp on short notice so they decide to "borrow" (without asking of course) their friend, julie's amp while at a party. so they walk out with it and Julie never notices they took it or even that its gone. so they forget about it for a while but when they remember, they decide to bring it back in style.

now for some background information, Julie has this creepy stalker, Josh (or Phoenix Hyuga as he calls himself) who continuously writes her disturbing raps. i mean, incredibly explicit raps, raps that could qualify as sexual harassment.

so, my brother and his friend decide to wrap up the amp with a rap from 'josh' and put it on her porch on Valentines Day. so today my brother gets home and wraps it up, then he comes down and he and i write an incredibly ridiculous poem. when we finish we tape it to the 'package' and go drop it off on her porch, ring the doorbell, and drive away.

not five minutes after we get home, my brother gets a call from Julie who is absolutely flipping out at this point. she thinks its actually from josh and she's just about to go fall into a puddle and die from being creeped out. so at first my brother goes along with it but then he explains it to her and she just starts screaming. later i got a call from her saying that that was pretty much the greatest prank ever. it was pretty epic, i'll remember this for a while.

Here's the rap that my brother and i wrote:

It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m here to say
I saw this package and I said “Hey,
I’ll give this to my Love
This gift from up above”
Julie you’re so hott
You make me blow out snot
You’ve got the finest butt I’ve ever seen
I’d watch it on the TV screen
I’d buy TiVo just for that
I’d watch it all day ‘cause you’re so phat
With a “ph” you know what I mean
As I’m watchin’ you on the television screen
Boom ch-boom, boom-ch-ch
Boom ch-boom, boom-ch-ch
I love you so much, I gotta say
You make me rap in this way
With your fine legs and the way you walk
That’s the reason it’s you I stalk
If I had a hott date, I hope it’d be with you
I might even take you to the petting zoo
(If you know what I mean
My little puddin’ cream)
Before I wrap up this rap
I gotta say, oh snap
I kinda want to do ya
Signed Phoenix Hyuga
____________________ ___________________
..............................................I have epic fail.........................................


#2
I think a favorite of mine is an empty ring-box with a piece of paper on the inside that says "I'm breaking up with you"

Either that, or leaving a calendar on a guy's bed with one of the day's circled and "missed period" written on it. Prefferably a calendar similar to his g/f's calendar.
Quote by top shelf

I couldn't do it [masturbate] with the cast on however. That's when I dug out my baby sister's stuffed animals and went to town

Quote by Tubyboulin
Is it bad that I imagined you saying that in a really sexy voice?
#3
Never give a hyper sensative girl a fake secret admirer's card. she'll check every single guy's handwriting, pick the one that's the closest to the one on the card, fall madly in love with him and when you tell her it was from you, she'll break down crying and screaming what a horrible person you are.

it was a long day.
BITCH, IMA LEAD FARMER

Read 'Em =]
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[thread="1177989"]Unwanted[/thread]
[thread="1179087"]Rude Awakening[/thread]
#4
I put cyanide in my girlfriends chocolate. I heard everyone is doing it.

I though that was the greatest valentines day prank ever.
#5
lol that was hilarious

the "Boom ch-boom, boom-ch-ch
Boom ch-boom, boom-ch-ch" got me haha
#6
an empty dick-in-a-box.
Quote by Samnung
im gunna rape u

Quote by GuitarManiac09
Stay away you freak....I dont want you spreading your hideous crab population..




METALLICA AT WEMBLEY 08/07/07
#9
Quote by Lgndkllr777


ouch. man thats depressing, i didnt know that was news till now.

aww man, thanks for sending me in to depression.

ill send everyone else in to it now: i bet one of the people that were killed had a partner waiting for them at home.

go cry you ****ing emos.
Quote by Samnung
im gunna rape u

Quote by GuitarManiac09
Stay away you freak....I dont want you spreading your hideous crab population..




METALLICA AT WEMBLEY 08/07/07
#10
Quote by barrcode
Never give a hyper sensative girl a fake secret admirer's card. she'll check every single guy's handwriting, pick the one that's the closest to the one on the card, fall madly in love with him and when you tell her it was from you, she'll break down crying and screaming what a horrible person you are.

it was a long day.


Quote by fob12
Him -"Hey, give me a high five!"
Her -"hahaha why? *high fives*"
Him - "Because I just dumped you for the lulz!"
Her -"... what?"
Him -"*runs away*"


Quote by Lefty7Stringer
killswitch engage has some dissonant riffs, they're kind grindcore tho