#1
so i just finished writing another song..basically it's about people who aren't able to accept the people that they are, and instead of embracing themselves they try to escape it.

"Running from Our Shadows"

Gotta run, gotta go,
Gotta get away from here
You know the name
Of this game is fear
Go ahead
try to hide
but you know
you won't survive

No safe place
there's no escape
but still
you won't accept
your fate
turn around
it's right behind you
look again
it's deep inside you

It seems like we're
running from our shadows
a vison of ourselves
We just can't stand to face it
so we make for us this hell

Look into the mirror
deep into your eyes
See its gaze
It never tells a lie

It seems like we're
running from our shadows
a vison of ourselves
We just can't stand to face it
so we make for us this hell


I realize this is pretty average..maybe like a 7/10 or something. I just figured I'd see what you guys had to say about it.
#2
Gotta run, gotta go,
Gotta get away from here
You know the name
Of this game is fear
Go ahead
try to hide
but you know
you won't survive

It's a little weak for an opening verse, and I personally think it detracts from the whole song.

No safe place
there's no escape
but still
you won't accept
your fate
turn around
it's right behind you
look again
it's deep inside you

This part is much better than the first verse, but still isn't anything great. It's just okay in my opinion.

It seems like we're
running from our shadows
a vison of ourselves
We just can't stand to face it
so we make for us this hell

The chorus isn't that great either. Again, not bad, just okay.

Look into the mirror
deep into your eyes
See its gaze
It never tells a lie

This part doesn't flow at all for me. The last line just kills the flow completely. Maybe change it to "It never lies." I think it'd flow better.

It seems like we're
running from our shadows
a vison of ourselves
We just can't stand to face it
so we make for us this hell


Overall, I think the song is very cliche. It's a worn out topic, and the lyrics do nothing to redeem that fact. It's not the worst I've seen, but it's definitely not among my favorites either. Keep working at it, but maybe choose a more original topic next time.
#3
thanks for the post. Like i said, I knew it wasn't great. I'm interested though to hear your opinion on some topics that aren't cliche. I really don't think there are any. I write music about what I'm feeling at the time, and I dont' really care if it's been done before.