#1
It's a poem, not a song.

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"I smell death in these woods," mused the traveler weary,
To white flakes that speckled the trees
The sun shone a requiem onto his face
For some victim of silent disease.

He meandered alone over round frozen hillsides,
And he swallowed the rest of the day
The sun beat down hard into his tired eyes
Like a houseguest insisting to stay.

There were only faint signs of the forest's cold lifeblood,
In shelter from stark winter's wind
The sun cast its light over their hiding groves;
Spring revival was soon to begin.

For his own was the death that the traveler smelled,
As he knelt, his gaze fixed on the sky
The sun burned defiance long after he left,
And the old woods themselves never die.
#2
Wow. You have some serious writing talent. I really like the imagery that you use. It really describes the seen well. Nice rhyme scheme. Nothing cleche. All in all it was really good. Crit mine? Its called A Tribute To Her (On This Valentine's Day). Thx. Really great poem. Keep up the good work.
#4
very good. i really liked this. the imagery was beautiful. i can't really crit too much on this, i couldn't find anything wrong.
take a look at mine. it's called "Mom made Nachos but I'm not hungry"
Member #2 of the Mike Patton Worshippers club p.m. lalalama 2 to join

listen to metal.