#1
Here is a metal/core song me and my band are getting down. Tell me what you think.

For anyone that's interested i did a real final version and straightened up a few parts in the last one that annoyed me also fixed the part that came into the breakdown. It's not great but it goes into the breakdown better. Also did a few tweaks to some of the drums. Have fun.
Attachments:
For anyone Interested..zip
Guitars:
Ibanez UV777P
Ibanez RGD2127FX
Ibanez RG3120TW
Ibanez RGD7321
Ibanez RG6003FM
Ibanez SA160
Jackson Slatxmg3-7
Amps:
Baron Custom Amps K88
Rivera Knucklehead TRE
Fryette Sig: X
Randall RM4 /w Modded modules
Cabs:
Mesa 4x12
Bogner 4x12
Peavey 4x12(K85s)
Last edited by kylendm at Jun 5, 2008,
#2
Sounds really good imho!
i like it. : D

apart from the chorus part, it's a really great song!

but the drumming is really awesome.

keep rocking! : DDD

EDIT: Could be a huge lot better, if you sped it up a bit.
Ibanez RGT6EXFX -> Ibanez TS9 -> Korg Pitchblack -> Peavey 5150 II head -> Mesa Rectifier 2x12 cab
Last edited by Eskil Rask at Feb 16, 2008,
#3
What could i do to the chourus to make it better? I thought the same thing.
Thanks btw.
Guitars:
Ibanez UV777P
Ibanez RGD2127FX
Ibanez RG3120TW
Ibanez RGD7321
Ibanez RG6003FM
Ibanez SA160
Jackson Slatxmg3-7
Amps:
Baron Custom Amps K88
Rivera Knucklehead TRE
Fryette Sig: X
Randall RM4 /w Modded modules
Cabs:
Mesa 4x12
Bogner 4x12
Peavey 4x12(K85s)
#4
yeah difinatley speed it up
and after you do the pickslide, you forgot to change guitar back to regular guitar

youre missing like the metalcore breakdown and solo
i know youve got the break but, it just doesnt fill the breakdown aspect that well

but it is all writen really well so good job
so far id say a 9/10 as it seems a little incomplete but everything is pretty solid as far as writing goes

c4c?https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=787860
#5
I didn't like it that much. IMO, it's an easy, generic metalcore song. Basically, it sounded like As I Lay Dying, except slower. The chorus should have a lead or something in the beginning, that should probably help it. Also, I think the solo, maybe the chorus too, would sound better with an upbeat drum part, put the snare on every second and forth beat in each measure. It's good start.
last.fm | Rush Hour | Dead Format
Quote by HxC73107
pray for plagues or off the heezay by bring me the horizon both great songs specially when ur at a pit at trhe reall show
#6
Alright thanks ill get into the drum fixing and fixing the chrous.
Guitars:
Ibanez UV777P
Ibanez RGD2127FX
Ibanez RG3120TW
Ibanez RGD7321
Ibanez RG6003FM
Ibanez SA160
Jackson Slatxmg3-7
Amps:
Baron Custom Amps K88
Rivera Knucklehead TRE
Fryette Sig: X
Randall RM4 /w Modded modules
Cabs:
Mesa 4x12
Bogner 4x12
Peavey 4x12(K85s)
#7
Yeah...wasn't bad but wasn't overly impressive. I could definitely see adding a melodic lead during the chorus. That would give it the more chorusy feel to it. The constant break tempo changes are very wierd too....doesn't feel natural at all. Plus...bringing the overall tempo up would help dramatically as well. Really needs a solo too...so I like a lot of what you have.///but I would consider this a nice demo to get the overall idea down. Now get in there and fine tune it and it'll be rockin for sure.
#8
aw cmon i know some of you listened to it can you guys please comment?
Guitars:
Ibanez UV777P
Ibanez RGD2127FX
Ibanez RG3120TW
Ibanez RGD7321
Ibanez RG6003FM
Ibanez SA160
Jackson Slatxmg3-7
Amps:
Baron Custom Amps K88
Rivera Knucklehead TRE
Fryette Sig: X
Randall RM4 /w Modded modules
Cabs:
Mesa 4x12
Bogner 4x12
Peavey 4x12(K85s)
#9
Dude, all in all this song is great for the genre, i personally can't find anything i don't like about it in it's current state...except for that chromatic F part at bar 28, seems a little out of place, and the breaks just seem a little un-creative but w/e that's just nit-picking.

Very cool chorus and solo.

9/10
This water's dark and coldGod's not where you hopedThis moment come and goneIt's time we all moved on
#10
Yeah it's supposed to be C# Chromatic thanks though.
Guitars:
Ibanez UV777P
Ibanez RGD2127FX
Ibanez RG3120TW
Ibanez RGD7321
Ibanez RG6003FM
Ibanez SA160
Jackson Slatxmg3-7
Amps:
Baron Custom Amps K88
Rivera Knucklehead TRE
Fryette Sig: X
Randall RM4 /w Modded modules
Cabs:
Mesa 4x12
Bogner 4x12
Peavey 4x12(K85s)
#11
I'm not much of a "Metal" fan,
but I F**king loved it!

Except for the Dramatic Tempo
Changes.

9/10
#12
The only thing I don't like is the first lead part in the chorus and the tempo change in the breakdown. A August Burns Red breakdown would work so much better for a song like this.
-Gear-
Mesa Triple Rectifier---Bogner/Line6 SpiderValve---Orange PPC 4x12

-Pedalboard/Rackmount-
Alesis MidiVerb4--BBE SonicMaximizer 442--Ibanez TS9
Boss DD-3--Morley Mark Tremonti Wah

-Guitars-
Ibanez ART-100
Ibanez S-470
#13
Yeah i know what you mean i updated this song again but i don't know if i should post it since it's not that big of a difference. for the break down i just didn't like it at all in this song and also didn't know how to get into it so i just did tempo change. the chorus i liked that part in the beginning idk why just did. but thanks for the crit =).
Guitars:
Ibanez UV777P
Ibanez RGD2127FX
Ibanez RG3120TW
Ibanez RGD7321
Ibanez RG6003FM
Ibanez SA160
Jackson Slatxmg3-7
Amps:
Baron Custom Amps K88
Rivera Knucklehead TRE
Fryette Sig: X
Randall RM4 /w Modded modules
Cabs:
Mesa 4x12
Bogner 4x12
Peavey 4x12(K85s)
#14
The main reason why it sounds so generic is because of the C5 -> G#5 -> F5 progression, which is very common with Metalcore.
______________________________________________________________________
Last edited by Gyroscope : Tomorrow at 01:00 PM.
#17
Haha thanks Terabite i have one last update i have up at the top of the page its "For anyone Interested". Its just a bunch of updates i did from the last time some aren't so noticeable but i listed some key things changed. Thanks for everyone that critted this song
Guitars:
Ibanez UV777P
Ibanez RGD2127FX
Ibanez RG3120TW
Ibanez RGD7321
Ibanez RG6003FM
Ibanez SA160
Jackson Slatxmg3-7
Amps:
Baron Custom Amps K88
Rivera Knucklehead TRE
Fryette Sig: X
Randall RM4 /w Modded modules
Cabs:
Mesa 4x12
Bogner 4x12
Peavey 4x12(K85s)
#18
i really liked the verse and the chorus was fine imo.. however, i didnt like how the chorus progressed into the break, and the first few bars of the break...
the break got good at bar 39, but the jump to the verse where it suddenly sped up, didn't seem natural...
likewise for the second break... the progression into the break did not fit in very well... however the solo did sort of make up for it... in the solo though, the sweep at bar 82 seemed a bit out of place.. i'd recommend building up to it, or ending with it... liked the ending of the solo (bars 86-87)
i'd also recommend the rallentando at the end over more bars to make it seem a little more natural...
otherwise it was awesome...
good job man..
"You take the blue pill , the story ends here, you wake up and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill you stay in wonderland and I'll show you just how deep the rabbit hole goes."
- Morpheus

#3 of Tom Cruise Scares me club.
#19
I think its alright apart from anything after the word Break. Should just cut out those break sections altogether the rest is fine, they just totally ruined it for me.

And the intro has a good concept but your using the same notes over and over which gets a bit repeditive, change it up a bit and get dont always end on a 2 that holds till next bar.