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#1
We all know this issue, what is there to do, if youre in a hurry and youve got a huge morning-boner on?
#4
Put Icy H--- oh wait...it's been done.
Quote by Briyan_15
I think this man has a reputation to defend and "poop head" is not in that reputation.


Quote by omegasus
RUSSELL! WHAT THE ****!!!!
#5
1. Take hatchet
2. Hold against morning-wood
3. Raise hatchet and thrust downward with all of your strength
4. ???
5. Profit!
#9
Tie a piece of rope to the end of it, on the other end of the rope tie a brick and throw it out of your window.

What have you got, shit for brains or something?
Funny words.
#12
Quote by hrdcorelaxplaya
"Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day... Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day..."


Useful!
#13
Meg griffin?




Quote by dogismycopilot
Absent Mind, words cant express how much i love you. Id bone you, oh yea.

Quote by lumberjack
Absent Mind is, as usual, completely correct.

Quote by littlemurph7976
Id like to make my love for Neil public knowledge as he is a beautiful man
#14
Quote by ForfeitTheGame
wank??

If your in a hurry he said! Can you be that fast that it would save you time?
#15
Quote by hrdcorelaxplaya
"Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day... Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day..."


"OOOOH MAGGEH! OOOOH MAGGEH!"

"Maccers, stop that"
Quote by justinb904
im more of a social godzilla than chameleon

Quote by MetalMessiah665
Alright, I'll give them a try, Japanese Black Speed rarely disappoints.

Quote by azzemojo
Hmm judging from your pic you'd fit in more with a fat busted tribute.
#20
Repeat this in your head:

FANNY CRADDOCK
I like analogue Solid State amps that make no effort to be "tube-like", and I'm proud of it...

...A little too proud, to be honest.
#22
The problem for me is, when i go into the bathroom, my dad is coming out, and i sleep in my boxers. So if im pitching a tent, my dad will likely see it...
Quote by Atomic_Assault
lololololol that was epic andyd93. you just made my day


PROUD EVERTONIAN
#24
Quote by andyd93
The problem for me is, when i go into the bathroom, my dad is coming out, and i sleep in my boxers. So if im pitching a tent, my dad will likely see it...


Exactly same!
#25
Quote by andyd93
The problem for me is, when i go into the bathroom, my dad is coming out, and i sleep in my boxers. So if im pitching a tent, my dad will likely see it...


So...it's not like he's not going to understand
Quote by AzureNight
Don't worry guys, he's just bitter because he has a small dick.


Quote by Alexander_BR
You know that good feeling when you take a crap, gay sex is like that


Proud member of the Cardboard Mafia. Search "free boxes" for info.
#27
Ignore it completely. Hop out of bed, get dressed and by the time you're finished getting your clothes on, the wood has softened.

Or, go for a piss - all wood goes away when you pee.
Quote by DrewsGotTheLife
yea man, who ever doesnt like pantera or think they suck doesnt like metal, end of discussion, they changed the freakin world n made history, so don't be sayin they suck, have respect, same goes for machine head n lamb of god cuz their good too
#29
piss. that happens to me every morning, only its not really a boner in the traditional sense as it is just filled with piss to the point of, well, you get the idea.
#30
Quote by hrdcorelaxplaya
"Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day... Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day..."


Haha class.

"Baseball, cold showers. Baseball, Cold showers"
Sweet.
#32
Quote by rancidryan
learn on it against a hard surface it will invert and hey presto your a woman!


He was close, but no cigar. Walk and wank while holding your breath. After walking at least 20 steps start jumping into a wall boner first. Works every time.
Too many people own guitars. Someone had better go play a... clarinet or something.

:stickpoke

That means you.

Quote by slayer_rule_\m/
i once sneezed and a mushed up chip flew out my nose
needless to say i immediatly ate it
Last edited by weirdsprout at Feb 16, 2008,
#33
As a related side note... morning wood happens involuntarily because your testosterone peaks in the morning. Surprising how many people don't know that. The only way to cure it is to get older.
#35
Quote by corndogggy
As a related side note... morning wood happens involuntarily because your testosterone peaks in the morning. Surprising how many people don't know that. The only way to cure it is to get older.


No wai........i bow down
Too many people own clarinets. Someone had better go play a... guitar or something.
Last edited by The_Tiki at Feb 16, 2008,
#38
Embrace it.
Quote by Sonicxlover
Kensai, I think I'll get a flamboyant sig.

Quote by Sonicxlover
Kensai, I think I'll get a flamboyant sig.

Quote by Sonicxlover
Kensai, I think I'll get a flamboyant sig.


Parker Nitefly Mojo sonnn
Jackson DK2M Dinky
Carvin Legacy
Fender Blues Jr.
Roland Cube 30X
#39
Masturbation doesn't really work on morning wood- it's not induced by arousal, and it will take ages.

And you can't really use that as an excuse for lateness- 'sorry- I was wanking off my morning boner'

Just get up and walk around.
VENUSIAN
FB SC BC TW
Patterns In The Ivy present ethnicity on an intriguing and dedicated level. ~Ambient Exotica
A mesmeric melange of yearning voice, delicate piano and carefully chosen samples. ~Lost Voices
#40
Quote by _deeperthewound
There's nothing to prevent it, it's just one of those things.

Try thinking of your aunt's floppy arm fat?


Wouldn't that just worsen the condition?
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