#1
Here's a song for anyone who has ever had the urge to do something grossly socially unacceptable.

Enjoy.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=682437

"Live Like A Martyr"

-A. Daily

When I hide, I feel alive
When I can't see the day it can't see me
But we'll preach the coming night
When it comes time

Every urge to pry the eyes
Of the rich and the desperate sings to me
Sit in quiet and holy fire
When it comes time

Don't brace yourself
Live like a martyr

And what it means to me
Parts the oceans of my heart that they can't see
And we'll throw the world aside
When it comes time
#2
I really like the lyrics and the music, but your phrasing and melodies need to improve in your singing.. Change those for the better, and you have a really neat song! All of the small sounds in the background fits great, and is what makes me really dig the tunes. Keep it up like this, please.
#3
Cool - I liked it.

Hope you like Jane's Addiction because musically, it sounded reminiscent of some of the work on Nothing's Shocking. NOT DERIVATIVE - just kinda' reminded me of Dave Navarro's big fat echo on that album - which I like a lot. Singing - nothing like Perry though. Personally - I thought your phrasing and melody was fine - but - if you could relate to what Tuneman said - I'd be happy to hear a different version of that tune.

CFC the track I refer to in this thread if you care to - https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=789048
#4
Thanks guys, I really appreciate it! I like all the melodies and stuff, so I probably won't change them, but I definitely recognize that the words probably need to be enunciated more.

Actually, I've only heard like maybe one or two Jane's Addiction songs. Kind of a coincidence that it's similar I suppose. Maybe I'll have to check them out.
#5
I love it man. Don't listen to these guys, your singings great. :P Reminds me of Godsmack though.
#6
Not bad at all...If you do change it Id take another listen but to me everything seemed just fine.
If you check my profile song please leave a comment on any part.....THANKS!!!
#7
Quote by Chaingarden

Actually, I've only heard like maybe one or two Jane's Addiction songs. Kind of a coincidence that it's similar I suppose. Maybe I'll have to check them out.


I'm sure you've just come up with some of the same sort of things here and there... I mean - he's good - but it isn't like Dave Navarro invented rockin' out!

...before I ever heard the dude I was squawking out some of the same noises I heard him make with that band myself - apparently - you too!
#8
Haha, yeah, I know what you mean. I'll sometimes write a song, and people will say something like "Oh, this sounds like so-and-so," though I may have never heard them. Some of the stuff I was thinking for this song was kind of like The Edge from U2, but more aggressive. Perhaps that's kind of in Dave Navarro territory?