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#1
Family Guy, American Dad, The Simpsons, Futrama, King of the hill ect...

Mine is:
From:Family Guy- Stewie: In an hours time Ill be sorounded by Seamen,Sperm whales & seaman......Ohh look a swallow
Quote by Spoony_Bard
Dude I got these strings the other day that couldn't be tuned to higher than 4 octaves below middle C then I realized that they were shoelaces and they weren't making any sound at all.
#4
"did everything just taste purple for a second?"

phillip j fry
Quote by AlecMag
I love that song! You are god for putting it into a poem


Quote by LadyHellRaiser
Your hair is fckin epic, dude!!!

LOVE IT!!!!


Quote by rmr024
no ****in way!
I don't even know you but I think I love you...

So awesome.


I hate my fucking username.
#5
This has purple stuff in it, purple is a fruit.

South park and simpsons have some MAJORLY hilarious quotes.. but its too late for me to remember.

EDIT:

A south park one.. i use it alot...

"Jesus christ MONKEY BALLS"
Everybody Loves Lefty..

Lefties Unite!


Melodic Thrash Metal and winners of the Wacken Metal Battle Canada and 2nd Place Runner Ups for Wacken Metal Battle International

PROFANER
#6
Jews always carry a sack of gold around their neck. Give me your gold. Jews always carry a fake sack of gold to cover the real one. Give me the real gold.
Winner of the 2011 Virginia Guitar Festival

Protools HD
Lynx Aurora 16/HD192
Mojave, Sennheiser, AKG, EV etc mics
Focusrite ISA828 pres
Waves Mercury
Random Rack Gear

65 Deluxe Reverb
PRS CE 22
American Standard Strat
Taylor 712
#7
Futurama

Hermes-"i am going to jump!!"

Leela-"Dont do it"

Bender-"do a flip!!"


why was it canceled?

i want new episodes
#8
"Like most things in life, pumping is just a primitive form of bending!"

-Bender B. Rodriguez

Quote by emad
jthm_guitarist
Warned for trolling!


Quote by metal4eva_22
Didn't you say that you had a stuffed fox that you would occasionally fuck?

Quote by Axelfox
It's not a fox,it's a wolf.
#9
Brian: This is even lamer than when Ozzie Osbourne stopped biting the heads of bats

Ozzie: before the concert, I'm going to eat, this entire sandwich

*takes a bit*
*crowd cheers*
*chews*

Ozzie: I'll finish it later!

*crowd cheers*
'08 Gretsch White Falcon
'98 Fender USA Deluxe Tele
'79 Greco Les Paul Standard
Airline Stratotone Crafter GAE8

A bunch of funky pedals

Handwired 50 Watt Plexi Lead Clone w/ Orange 4x12
#10
"oh god! nobody move dont worry i got it!"-peter griffin
then he goes out in the yard w/ a shotgun n theres a firetruck n he trys to shoot it...he gets pounded into the ground by the ladder lol
Quote by aig91
"It doesn't get much beter than that! Ok, maybe a free ibanez guitar and marshall half-stack in perfect condition would be better, but free pancakes comes right behind that"

Quote by neptune1988
"My tone should be like me........FAT! "
#12
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Who are those horrible orange creatures over there?
Glurmo: Why, those are the Grunka-Lunkas. They work here in the Slurm factory.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Tell them I hate them.
Miss Scourge? PM me.

I am the mistress of ManWithoutAHat . This pleases me.
#13
mine in south park is when kyles cousin kyle is in class and cousin kyle cant stay still and the teacher tells him he needs to concentrate and cartmen says well why dont we just send him to a concentration camp.... kyles a jew so i lmfao for like 5 mintes
#14
oh my other one in family guy is when peter pulled a saw with glasses on it and carrettop said hey theres my seesaw lmfao
#15
"Get those orphans off the skating rink floor!"

Orphan: "We came here instead of eating today...."
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools
#16
I like the whole scene from Family guy where Peter goes to Kentuck. Priceless dialogue.
Gear:
Jackson Dinky DK2L
Epiphone LP Standard
Yamaha Acoustic
Bugera 1990 w/ Peavey 2x12 cab
#17
Stewie: "UH OH.......UH OH.........DO I TAKE IT OUT OR DO I LEAVE IT IN?? DO I TAKE IT OUT OR DO I LEAVE IT IN???
#18
"Of All my friends, your the first" - Bender

"shut up and drag me to work" - Bender

"wait wait wait, your ass just sneezed. and horses can't talk, no no no none of this adds up at all" - carnival worker on Family guy in a cutback scene.
Quote by sneyob
Saw extended blue dick,
clicked X.

Sorry,
force of habit


Quote by Bmm386

There is only one solution. We need to bomb outer space. That should show those terrorist bastards who's who
#19
hello mother. I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint. It's in my diaper and it's not a toaster.

Stewie griffin lol
#21
Hank: I sell propane and propane accessories.

Bobby Hill: All right! I'm in a team with my dad. Permision to lead the team in a cheer. Give me a...
Hank: Permision denied.

Dale Gribble: It's a beautiful day. Nancy should be outside doing my laundry.


Fry: Start with a compliment. Tell her she looks thin.
Zoidberg: You seem malnourished. Are you suffering from internal parasites?

Amy Wong: [crying] We're trying our best!
Bender: [yelling] Your best is an idiot!


And one of the greatest Futurama moments of all (be warned, it's a little long):

Narrator: You are entering the realm which is unusual. Maybe it's magic or contains some kind of monster. The second one. Prepare to enter... The Scary Door. Please send a man 'round back and pick up Clyde Smith, a professional gambler who's about to have an unfortunate accident.
Clyde Smith: [Smith is run over by a car, then awakes in a casino. He plays the slot machine and wins] Ha-ha-ha! A casino where I'm winning? That car must've killed me. I must be in heaven!
[wins again]
Clyde Smith: A casino where I always win. That's boring. I must really be... in HELL!
Sebastian Cabot: No, Mr. Smith. You are not in heaven or hell. You are on an airplane!
[unrolls the curtains, revealing the airplane windows. A creature sits on the wing of the plane, ripping wires out of it]
Clyde Smith: There's a gremlin destroying the plane. You gotta believe me!
Sebastian Cabot: Why should I believe you? You're Hitler!
[Pulls out a mirror. Clyde's reflection indeed looks like Hitler]
Clyde Smith: No!
[turns to a woman sitting next to him]
Clyde Smith: Eva Braun! Help me!
[the woman pulls off a mask, revealing the head of a fly]
Clyde Smith: A-a-ah!
Bender: Saw it coming.
Quote by crazynickman
Dont be sad roo, you pwned him!
#22
The Tamacco Episode of the Simpsons.


Ralf: "This tastes like my Grandma"

Wiggins: "Oh my god, it does taste like Grandma"
Quote by rocknrollstar
"Oh baby baby yes yes YES! YES! *pinch harmonic*"
#23
Stewie: Oh no, i didn't catch the ball in the cup. Oh but it's okay, because the ball is attached to a piece of string, which is tied to the cup
'08 Gretsch White Falcon
'98 Fender USA Deluxe Tele
'79 Greco Les Paul Standard
Airline Stratotone Crafter GAE8

A bunch of funky pedals

Handwired 50 Watt Plexi Lead Clone w/ Orange 4x12
#24
Peter Griffin: Sometimes I think I should have married that woman I met the night of my bachelor party.
[cutaway to Lois as a young woman wearing a purple tanktop and long purple pants, and Peter as a young man wearing a light blue shirt and dark blue pants. Lois is holding onto him, walking out of a bar]
Lois Griffin: Peter, I can't believe your friends just left you here! Let's get you home.
Peter Griffin: [drunk] Wow, strange lady! You're so sexy. I should marry you tomorrow instead of that pain in the ass Lois.
Lois Griffin: Peter, it's me!
Peter Griffin: You know what? Screw it. I am so gonna cheat on Lois right now. I don't care if she finds out.
Lois Griffin: Peter, I-
Peter Griffin: You got a condom? N-never mind. [pulls a candy wrapper out of his pocket] I got this Milky Way wrapper.

Joe Swanson: Oh, I can't do it [eat a steak], I'm...I'm so full.
Peter Griffin: Full of what, estrogen? C'mon, take the skirt off, you pansy!
Joe Swanson: Oh.
Quagmire: Let's go! Chow down, Mary Jane!
Joe Swanson: I said I can't.
Brian Griffin: Eat it! Eat the damn steak!
Peter Griffin: C'mon, what are you waiting for?
Joe Swanson: I can't. No, no, no...
Glenn Quagmire: Eat it, Joe, eat it!
Joe Swanson: I SAID I'M NOT HUNGRY! [takes out his gun and fires at the steak] WHERE IS IT NOW, HUH? WHERE IS IT NOW?! [everyone puts their hands up]
Cleveland Brown: Easy, sailor, easy.
Peter Griffin: Put the gun down, Joe.
Brian Griffin: Yeah, nobody's judging you, man. It's cool. I'll just put this [gun] back in your purse next to your tampons.

Lois Griffin: So, Doctor, is Peter healthy?
Dr. Hartman: My goodness, you'll be dead within a month!
Peter and Lois: What?
Dr. Hartman: [pulls out a newspaper] Oh, Hägar the Horrible, if you keep up that lifestyle of pillaging and giant turkey legs, you'll be dead within a month. Now, onto you.
Peter Griffin: So, what do you think? Pretty healthy, huh?
Dr. Hartman: Well, Mr. Griffin, let's take a look at your physical results. Aaaahhh! [Lois and Peter gasp as Hartman drops the folder] There's a spider in here! [picks up the folder again, and a spider falls out of it] Now, here we go. Mr. Griffin, you're going to expire in a month. [Lois and Peter gasp. Hartman pulls Peter's driver's license out of the folder] This is your driver's license, isn't it? Now unfortunately, I'm afraid you're going to die...
Lois Griffin: Oh! [Peter gasps with her]
Dr. Hartman: [pulls out a video from the shelf] ...when you watch these Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts!
Lois Griffin: WILL YOU JUST TELL US HOW PETER'S HEALTH IS?
Dr. Hartman: Uh, Mr. Griffin, i'm not quite sure how to say this. Kim...Basinger? Bay-Basinger? Ba-Basenger? Baysinger? Hm. But now, onto the cancer.
Lois Griffin: Oh my God! [Peter gasps with her]
Dr. Hartman: You are a Cancer, right? You were born in July? Now, onto these test results. [pulls a paper out of the folder] My, they're much worse than I thought. [Lois and Peter gasp] My son got a D- on his history test. Now, Mr. Griffin, that liver's gotta come out.
Peter Griffin: Wah!
Lois Griffin: What?
Dr. Hartman: It's been in the microwave for three minutes! [pulls a liver out of a microwave] It'll get dry. Now...
Lois Griffin: Please... please... we can't take any more schtick! Please, just tell us. Is Peter healthy?
Dr. Hartman: Oh, yeah, he's fine. He's just really fat.
Lois Griffin: Oh, thank God.
Peter Griffin: Wait, wait, wait, hang-hang-hang on a second. Did you just say I was fat?
Dr. Hartman: Well...uh, yeah. You-you are pretty fat.
Peter Griffin: Um...okay...this is news to me. Uh...boy, this is more awkward than having sex with a rhinoceros who doesn't love you anymore.
[cutaway to Peter in bed with a rhinoceros]
Peter Griffin: Why wouldn't you look at me during? [the rhino gets out of bed and leaves; Peter cries.]


classic
#25
You can't give up hope just because it's hopeless. You just have to have more hope, and cover your ears and go "lalalalalalala."

Fry
Write your own lyrics or poetry? Post them HERE for a crit.
Follow me on Twitter
#26
on the simpsons where they are trying to get grease and the go into krusty burger to get grease and homer goes up to the burger flipper guy and says "my god your greasy"

haha
#27
used grease is worth money? then my arteries are clogged with yellow gold!
-Homer Simpson
Quote by Spoony_Bard
Dude I got these strings the other day that couldn't be tuned to higher than 4 octaves below middle C then I realized that they were shoelaces and they weren't making any sound at all.
#28
Peter : *sips* Holy crap, is this really the blood of christ?


Priest : Uhh, Yea.

Peter : Holy crap, he must have been wasted 24/7!
Quote by rocknrollstar
"Oh baby baby yes yes YES! YES! *pinch harmonic*"
#29
Mail Lady- Does that moat really work?

Lois- Well it keeps the black knight at bay

Cut scene of the black knight


Gets me everytime for some reason.


Or theres the priceless one from the simpsons where homer decides to steal the "El Batro" tag and put "El Homo"
#30
FUTURAMA FTW!!!
President Truman: Why have you come here? Are you planning on making some alien-human hybrid?
Dr. Zoidberg: Are you coming on to me?!
President Truman: Hot crackers! I take exception to that!
Dr. Zoidberg: I'm not hearing a 'no'...

[Threatening Scruffy with a gun]
Nudar: [To Bender] Read the code or I'll shoot this guy!
Bender: Who the hell is he?
Scruffy: I'm Scruffy, the janitor.
Bender: Hold on, Scruffy!

Al Gore: Finally! I get to save the Earth with deadly lasers instead of deadly slide shows.
We fear violence less than our own feelings. Personal, private, solitary pain is more terrifying than what anyone else can inflict.
Jim Morrison
#31
From the South Park Episode "Cartoon Wars II".

Cartman: This is manipulation at its highest level, you should let me handle this.

Bart Simpson: I dunno, I'm a pretty bad kid.

Cartman: Really what's the worst thing you've ever done?

Bart Simpson: I stole the head off a statue once.

Cartman: Wow, that's pretty hardcore. That's like this one time when I didn't like a kid, so I ground his parents up into chilli and fed it to him...

Bart Simpson: You got it man, you got it.


COMICAL GENIUS.
Gear:
Epiphone SG Standard - Natural Wood Finish + SD Alnico Pro 2 Bridge Pickup
Epiphone Les Paul Standard - Limited Edition Green
Ibanez S470
Blackstar HT-100 Head
Harley Benton 2x12 Vintage 30's
Vox AC4TV
Vox VT15
#32
Quote by hightension01
Futurama

Hermes-"i am going to jump!!"

Leela-"Dont do it"

Bender-"do a flip!!"


why was it canceled?

i want new episodes



From what i hear there will be new episodes on comedy central. if not.....then dammit
#33
the whole episode of south park where cartmen pretends to have tourettes[sp?] syndrome.


priceless.

cartmen:"you mean...if i had tourettes...i could say whatever i want"

random lady:"well that's right!"

cartmen: "in that case...I HAVE TOURETTES!!! **** ass **** bitch ***** **** crusty asshole"


ahh, yes.
Quote by numinis
wash his wrists with some good old ethanol, that'll teach 'm
#34
Homer: SAVE ME JEEEEEBUS!!!!

Leela: Hey, what's behind that door?
Glurmo: Nothing!
Leela: Is it the secret ingredient?
Grunka Lunkas: Grunka Lunka Dunkity Dingredient, you should not ask about the secret ingredient.
Bender: Ok, ok. We get the point.
Leela: I was just curious because of the armed guards.
Grunka Lunkas: Grunka Lunka Dunkity Darmed Guards...
Bender: Shut the hell up!
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#35
Quagmire: "How Old are you?"
Random girl: "16"
Quagmire: ..."18?? I like where this is goin...Aaaaallrightttttt! Giggity giggity giggity"




...something to that effect anyways
Peavey JSX
Marshall 1960A
Ibanez S470 DXQM
Boss DD-6
Dunlop Original Crybaby
#36
*Lisa sprays Bart in the pants with a hose*
Lisa- Haha Bart wet his pants
Grandpa- Shut up it's a serious problem
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#37
hello,China,Thats right i have it,but its gonna cost you,thats right,ALL THE TEA!
lmao
#39
Lionel Hutz: Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace “accidentally” with “repeatedly” and replace “dog” with “son.”
#40
NOoo, me father was a tree.- that sailor guy


Classic. Love Family Guy
CYMRU


Quote by apothecarrie
I cut my tongue with a spoon.


Andrew Wk Party Tip 11Be Awesomer!

Woo
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