Poll: Would a relationship like this be too hard to keep?
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View poll results: Would a relationship like this be too hard to keep?
Yes
108 79%
No
28 21%
Voters: 136.
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#1
Well unfortunately for me, my gf (who is a year younger than me) broke up with me last night because she thinks it would be too hard to keep a relationship long distance when I leave to go off to college, and she doesn't want to hold me back. I mean it sucks since I won't start college for another half year...


I was wondering if any UG'ers have had any similar experiences or think a long distance relationship like this would be too hard to keep.
Oh f*ck it,
I'm gonna have a party.
I had the blankest year,
I watched life turn into a TV show.
It was totally weird.
#2
Long distance relationships rarely work. You will barely see each other in person, and quite frankly, that gives far too much temptation to cheat on each other without any real chance of being caught.

Staying friends (no matter how bad it sounds) is a lot easier, as you can communicate with MSN, texts etc., but keeping a real relationship at long distances is either incredibly stressful (with frequent travelling to see each other) or you are just clinging on.
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#3
Quote by gm jack
Long distance relationships rarely work. You will barely see each other in person, and quite frankly, that gives far too much temptation to cheat on each other without any real chance of being caught.

Staying friends (no matter how bad it sounds) is a lot easier, as you can communicate with MSN, texts etc., but keeping a real relationship at long distances is either incredibly stressful (with frequent travelling to see each other) or you are just clinging on.



But isn't there always a chance it would work out?


i mean i guess if a couple was the same age it would work out easier right?
Oh f*ck it,
I'm gonna have a party.
I had the blankest year,
I watched life turn into a TV show.
It was totally weird.
#4
it could work... but it's not likely and it's not the same even if it does
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#6
I moved back home and i iused to live in bahrain, and ive been apart with my girlfriend than ive been with her...we've been going out now technically for 2,5 years..

it's really hard...
#7
My parents were at universities that were a four hour drive/train journey away from each other, it worked and they've been married for over 20 years. So yeah, it can work, but it rarely does.

If you really like her, keep in contact as much as you can when you're away and show her that it's her you're dedicated too, and that it's not holding you back. She may come around to the idea of staying together at long distances then.
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#8
Quote by soXlittleXtimeX
But isn't there always a chance it would work out?

i mean i guess if a couple was the same age it would work out easier right?


There is a chance, but it won't be easy or likely at all. For example, if you keep in touch by text, and one changes their number without letting the other know, the while thing can die in a week.
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#10
She did the right thing. Imagine being in such a relationship for a year and 2 months, and realizing you hardly exist for your gf anymore...
#11
You'll find someone better at college, anyway.
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#12
yeah bro **** it college is a new time, new place. i've never been but all my friends that went became weirdos, so maybe it'd be in her interest to leave you.
The times they are a changin'.....
#13
I say from a long and fairly fruitful experience! "Long distance relationships" can be fun, but they Do. Not. Last. They may go for a while, but you just can't keep it up for ever.
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#16
Quote by soXlittleXtimeX
Well unfortunately for me, my gf (who is a year younger than me) broke up with me last night because she thinks it would be too hard to keep a relationship long distance when I leave to go off to college, and she doesn't want to hold me back. I mean it sucks since I won't start college for another half year...


I was wondering if any UG'ers have had any similar experiences or think a long distance relationship like this would be too hard to keep.

What that really means is she wants to be free to bang anyone she wants...
#17
Just man up and let her go!

This is relationship material and if it was in there. You'd get told to grow a pair.

Much Love

P Dawg
#18
First of all what is classed as long distance?
Currently my Gf is at Uni and well being in Scotland it is never far away. She is about an hrs drive away from me, we are stronger than ever, whenever we see each other it is special.
#19
Quote by Kethnus
First of all what is classed as long distance?
Currently my Gf is at Uni and well being in Scotland it is never far away. She is about an hrs drive away from me, we are stronger than ever, whenever we see each other it is special.


But i bet when you meet her guy friends, you wonder for a split second 'is he banging her stupid when im not around?'. Or you see a t-shirt that isnt hers on the floor and look, it a guys one, her excuse is over complicated and shes trying to change the subject.

Sound familiar?
#20
Quote by Preid
But i bet when you meet her guy friends, you wonder for a split second 'is he banging her stupid when im not around?'. Or you see a t-shirt that isnt hers on the floor and look, it a guys one, her excuse is over complicated and shes trying to change the subject.

Sound familiar?


Nope not in the slightest.
She is a quiet lass, keeps herslef to herself. I trust her and she trusts me.

Not quite as you are depicting but i do see where you are coming from.
#21
I wouldnt wanna be in a long distance relationship myself. You might like somone alot, but then again, you're hanging on to someone you probably havent even seen in a long time. I would rather be with someone i can actually be with
#22
It could work. Its very mature of her (or she just wants to go out and get guys and thought this'd be an easy way to let you go).

I'll be honest and say that an awful load of people I know have split up. For some reason they were fine before both went to university, and some were fine when one was at university (they saw each other at weekend though) but they've split up once both have got to university. I guess university can change your outlook on life and/or personality. I know I feel like I've changed loads and I like the way I am at the minute.
#23
it wont work unless you really put an effort in it. besides, it will hardly be a relationship if can barely have quality time and that would be hard to get when you're far and busy. so i guess she has a good head on her shoulders.

i used to be in one. though i didnt have the temptation to cheat, the distance was straining us. we were frustrated and started arguing constantly. it's not the best for everybody.
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#24
I went out with a girl for 9 months before I moved to college (2 hours away). She was a senior in high school. At first it was alright, but then the distance started straining us, we started arguing a lot more, we were both really busy so we found it hard to find time to talk or anything. It was pretty rough the whole time. We kept it going until I went home for winter break, and we talked about it, and came to the mutual agreement that, while we still love each other, still care for each other a lot, it's not worth all the fighting to try and keep it going.

I'm not saying that will happen to you, but you have to keep in mind that college and high school are extremely different and she might not understand what you're going through. If you're a ways apart do you want to keep it going when you barely ever get to see her? Do you really trust each other enough to do this?
#25
Quote by Italy's Finest
yeah bro **** it college is a new time, new place. i've never been but all my friends that went became weirdos, so maybe it'd be in her interest to leave you.

People that go to college don't become weirdos, they become smarter.
Looking for my India/Django.
#26
Quote by gibsonpenguin
I went out with a girl for 9 months before I moved to college (2 hours away). She was a senior in high school. At first it was alright, but then the distance started straining us, we started arguing a lot more, we were both really busy so we found it hard to find time to talk or anything. It was pretty rough the whole time. We kept it going until I went home for winter break, and we talked about it, and came to the mutual agreement that, while we still love each other, still care for each other a lot, it's not worth all the fighting to try and keep it going.

I'm not saying that will happen to you, but you have to keep in mind that college and high school are extremely different and she might not understand what you're going through. If you're a ways apart do you want to keep it going when you barely ever get to see her? Do you really trust each other enough to do this?



I have complete trust in her when it comes to other guys and stuff like that and I would only be an hour away from her

but then again college does seem like it's very time consuming...


and I don't want to set myself up for failure
Oh f*ck it,
I'm gonna have a party.
I had the blankest year,
I watched life turn into a TV show.
It was totally weird.
Last edited by soXlittleXtimeX at Feb 17, 2008,
#27
Quote by soXlittleXtimeX
I have complete trust in her when it comes to other guys and stuff like that and I would only be an hour away from her

but then again college does seem like it's very time consuming...

It is very time consuming. You say you're "only an hour away", but that doesn't change the fact that you will probably rarely see each other. I mean, assuming you don't have a car at school, the only way to see each other is for her to visit you, or for you to find a ride back home with somebody. Which can happen, but at best I'd say you see each other once every 3 weeks or so.

PENGUINEDIT: I'm not trying to bring you down or trying to convince you not to try it. I'm just trying to get you to look at it from a realistic point of view rather than from an emotional point of view. It's so easy to say "Oh, I love her, we can make it work" but it's much smarter to look at the situation realistically and try and figure whether or not you actually have a chance.
#28
Quote by Preid
But i bet when you meet her guy friends, you wonder for a split second 'is he banging her stupid when im not around?'. Or you see a t-shirt that isnt hers on the floor and look, it a guys one, her excuse is over complicated and shes trying to change the subject.

Sound familiar?

Wow someone has trust issues. Long distance or not if you are thinking that the relationship WONT work.
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#29
Quote by gibsonpenguin
It is very time consuming. You say you're "only an hour away", but that doesn't change the fact that you will probably rarely see each other. I mean, assuming you don't have a car at school, the only way to see each other is for her to visit you, or for you to find a ride back home with somebody. Which can happen, but at best I'd say you see each other once every 3 weeks or so.

PENGUINEDIT: I'm not trying to bring you down or trying to convince you not to try it. I'm just trying to get you to look at it from a realistic point of view rather than from an emotional point of view. It's so easy to say "Oh, I love her, we can make it work" but it's much smarter to look at the situation realistically and try and figure whether or not you actually have a chance.



I know, but it's just weird because now that we aren't together, I can actually look at it more realistically than emotionally


but if she ever wanted to give it another go, would it be smart to go for it?
Oh f*ck it,
I'm gonna have a party.
I had the blankest year,
I watched life turn into a TV show.
It was totally weird.
#30
Quote by yellowfrizbee
Wow someone has trust issues. Long distance or not if you are thinking that the relationship WONT work.


Im a pessimist, not delusion unlike the TS.
#31
Sounds like she was trying to find a gentle way of letting you down dude, especially if there is 7 months to go till uni.
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#32
Quote by GHJ
Sounds like she was trying to find a gentle way of letting you down dude, especially if there is 7 months to go till uni.



that's what I'm starting to think...
Oh f*ck it,
I'm gonna have a party.
I had the blankest year,
I watched life turn into a TV show.
It was totally weird.
#33
Quote by soXlittleXtimeX
Well unfortunately for me, my gf (who is a year younger than me) broke up with me last night because she thinks it would be too hard to keep a relationship long distance when I leave to go off to college, and she doesn't want to hold me back. I mean it sucks since I won't start college for another half year...


I was wondering if any UG'ers have had any similar experiences or think a long distance relationship like this would be too hard to keep.



She doenst like you. Find a girl in the college your going to.
#34
If you're anything like me, you'd try and hold out for your missus and last maybe a week or two before you're shagging everything.
#35
Quote by redwing_suck
People that go to college don't become weirdos, they become smarter.


That is weird to a lot of people. I love university though as I fit in and people finally understand me while at school people thought I was weird. I'm actually pretty normal for university.
#36
My best friends are still going out and one is in college and one's at home.
I plan to stay with my girlfriend next year when I head to college, then again she's coming to the same college.
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#37
Personally, if it was a girl I truly loved, I'd adjust my college plans just to stay near her.
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#38
I think you guys' definition of long distance is amusing. My college was 1.5 hours from my house, and I was home most every weekend. If I had a girlfriend then, it would have been a peice of cake to make it work.

Now my grad school is 11 hours from my home, and my girlfriend goes to my old college.... but... we've been "long distance" for like 9 months now, and we're still going strong...

it can work, it's just difficult, and you have to be willing to make sacrifices.

IN calling is a beautiful thing... can talk to her as much as I want, no problem.
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#39
Distance makes anything harder to work, except ignoring people.

She was smart, it would only hurt you two more if she waited til the last second.

My friend in Ohio tried to keep a relationship with a girl in Nebraska, yeah, that one lasted a month or two before the fact that he never saw her got on his nerves.
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#40
To beastiebeatles: Yes, because adjusting your plans for 4 of the most important years of your life for a girl you met in high school is a great idea.

Quote by Musicman48858
I think you guys' definition of long distance is amusing. My college was 1.5 hours from my house, and I was home most every weekend. If I had a girlfriend then, it would have been a peice of cake to make it work.

Now my grad school is 11 hours from my home, and my girlfriend goes to my old college.... but... we've been "long distance" for like 9 months now, and we're still going strong...

it can work, it's just difficult, and you have to be willing to make sacrifices.

IN calling is a beautiful thing... can talk to her as much as I want, no problem.

Why would you go home every weekend from college? Part of the point is to gain independence, live on your own, meet new people, etc. etc. That's not going to happen if you go home every weekend.
Last edited by gibsonpenguin at Feb 17, 2008,
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