#1
could you guys please give me advice on this and an idea for the title thank you

v1
theres a feeling in the air
we're all wishing you were there
empty spaces in our heart
i dont think i can live apart

Ch
Feels like yesterday we were walking holding hands
youre the only one who could ever understand
Feels like yesterday you said i could touch the sky
to this day i know you never told a lie

V2
it all happened so quick
one day healthy one day sick
no one could have expected this
that we'd have a final kiss


Ch
Feels like yesterday we were walking holding hands
youre the only one who could ever understand
Feels like yesterday you said i could touch the sky
to this day i know you never told a lie

V3
as i sat by your bed
slowly rubbing your head
i could feel you fading away
all we can ever do is pray

Bridge
How did this happen
what did i do
I cant believe this
I need you


Ch
Feels like yesterday we were walking holding hands
youre the only one who could ever understand
Feels like yesterday you said i could touch the sky
to this day i know you never told a lie


so if i could get advice on how to make this better i would truely aprecitate it
#2
Well, it's really good, it has good meaning, it just seems...... i don't know...... a bit simple I guess. Like, it didn't leave much to the person reading it to try and figure out the meaning. I think that, if you left more to the reader to try and comprehend, or even if you used slightly bigger words, it would be incredible. With some work, this could be a very good piece of work.
TheInfringement
#3
I'm sure someone else will come along and slate the cliches in this song as there's quite a few. But it's a fairly simple message without necessarily explaining anything about this particular situation. I'm unsure if this other person died or if it was the end of a relationship.

I'd rather see something original that you've drawn from the situation, that is likely to draw me in as a reader and make me want to read on.

The chorus seems pretty good, with the exception of the flow in the last line.