#1
Cant escape the asylum
mind is running free


cant escape this insanity
hallucinations of a place called home
death defying images of a self portrayed government
painted on the corners of my mind


imagination becomes real
strobes of memories before my eyes
another scape goat waits for me to die


my mind is black
i cant escape these walls
my minds on lockdown
but yet it still persists
im crushed under this strain
the corners of my mind
are like the horizons of all time
i cant escape it, its locked in place

my minds a jailcell
waiting for me to rot
it controls me and tears me down
i cant control it its got me in its threshhold


thats all i got im stuck
#2
This isn't horrible, but it isn't highly original.

Try and think of something a little more inventive to portray the feeling of being stuck, prisons, lock down, asylum, been done many times before and quite frankly done better.

The way you set it out was also kind of strange, not much coherence in the structure, it was irritating.
#3
Sorry, I missed the crit you gave my song the other day - so finally repaying the favour.

I'm going to agree with bowl of oranges. The escaping/trapped idea has been visited many times. The flow is also a little sporadic in places too, not to mention the lack of punctuation

"strobes of memories" seems pretty good.

I'm also not really getting why you feel trapped, other than that's how you feel.