#1
The guitar is kinda grunge style. What do you think of the lyrics? Also can you think of a name for this?


Let go, let go of this taste so vile
Do not put anyone on trial
Free yourself from your prison cell
This can’t be heaven, this must be hell

Anger and hate are a thing of the past
Forgiveness and love will make life last
Anger and hate are a thing of the past
Forgiveness and love will make life last

Ina corner of hatred and disdain
How can you survive without feeling pain?
Maybe someday you will understand
The meaning of these emotions at hand

Anger and hate are a thing of the past
Forgiveness and love will make life last
Anger and hate are a thing of the past
Forgiveness and love will make life last

Live for the present, don’t look back
There’s nothing waiting but a heart attack
The past is past and the future is near
And you know there is nothing to fear

Anger and hate are a thing of the past
Forgiveness and love will make life last
Anger and hate are a thing of the past
Forgiveness and love will make life last

Love is something you can’t live without
So how can you hate without a doubt
Don’t give up, it’s not too late
Do not let them seal your fate.

Anger and hate are a thing of the past
Forgiveness and love will make life last
Anger and hate are a thing of the past
Forgiveness and love will make life last
Last edited by domosaregreat at Feb 17, 2008,
#2
Quote by domosaregreat

Let go, let go of this taste so vile
Do not put anyone on trial
Free yourself from your prison cell
This can’t be heaven, this must be hell

The second line seems to be too short rhythm wise, an extra word would probably fix that up.
Other than that, it has a decent rhythm. The rhyming is decent, if you could use more creative words that aren't commonplace for the same meaning, it would improve greatly.

It's a good intro concept wise.

Quote by domosaregreat

Anger and hate are a thing of the past
Forgiveness and love will make life last
Anger and hate are a thing of the past
Forgiveness and love will make life last

Instead of simply repeating the same 2 lines, it might sound better if you added some variety.
I do like the spreading peace and joy message here though.

Quote by domosaregreat

In a corner of hatred and disdain
How can you survive without feeling pain?
Maybe someday you will understand
The meaning of these emotions at hand

This flows fairly well, assuming I'm reading it correctly, and isn't a bad stanza.


Quote by domosaregreat

Live for the present, don’t look back
There’s nothing waiting but a heart attack
The past is past and the future is near
And you know there is nothing to fear

The second line needs some changing, it just doesn't fit well, other than that it's okay.

Quote by domosaregreat

Love is something you can’t live without
So how can you hate without a doubt
Don’t give up, it’s not too late
Do not let them seal your fate.

Something about this stanza bothers me, but I can't quite put my finger on what it is. It's not a bad ending, but the wording bothers me a little.


The only other thing I can say is that I think you should spread out the "chorus" stanza out, instead of placing it as every other stanza.

Good job, with some more buffering it could become something nice!

If you could take a look at mine; That'd be great.
http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=789632
Quote by Wilson
I didn't realize I was being transformed until I was in her kitchen wearing an apron and frosting her cupcakes.
#4
Yeah, instead of having it thrown in too often.
Quote by Wilson
I didn't realize I was being transformed until I was in her kitchen wearing an apron and frosting her cupcakes.