#1
A rough recording i made today, pardon the singing, it's not my forte =X not quite finished with it, thinking of adding a breakdown type thing after the last chorus, and cleaning up the excess noise.

lemme know what you think, it's "Turn Your Ring Around"

crit4crit =]

http://www.purevolume.com/derided
Honestly. Wtf?


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#2
must agree with the bit about your singing it does need a little work, also i think the vocals were a bit too prominent in the mix, kinda drowned out the guitar, my favourite part by far was the picking work and the layered guitar parts on the intro and stuff, on (what i think was) the chorus i think you need to work on that strumming pattern, it just didnt seem to gel with the vocal line. otherwise good job!

check out my songs on my profile if you get a minute
Guitars-
krozka-sharpe raider session 'revo'
ibanez s520ex with SD TB-10 full shred bridge
ibanez sz520qm
epiphone les paul custom
epiphone EJ200

Amp-
Orange tiny terror with PPC112 cab
#3
wow im realy sorry it took me so long to crit this. time huh? :P anyways....


i really like the arrangment. really great intro part. very beautiful guitar tone also. id like to hear, what kind of recording equipment are you using? cause it sounds a bit better then the cheap mic and stuff. im not quite sure i like the bridge part, but it serves its purpose fine.

like you said, not the greatest singer, but a couple things you could try, try toinstead of singing from your throat, focus on pushing the air out of your lungs. because your doing that, you should sound clearer. and also try not to slur your words as much. i think that should help.
#4
I loved the intro, nice and mellow.
Haha, singing isnt your forte :P It wasnt too bad actually, gave a good idea of how the song would be. I agree with the guy above, dont slur your words so much.

I really liked the overall style of the song though... my sort of music, yeah. Nice and mellow. I think the chorus could be pretty catchy as well if pulled off correctly. I also found it original, which makes a change on here :P.

Nice one, man.

Ive got a topic on this forum 'Lived my Lies' if you wouldnt mind critting it.

=)