#1
Man. Not a good way to start a week. I don’t post nearly as often on UG as I used to, but I need to do this. Just hear me out because there is something I’ve really been thinking about for the past year.

So far this year:
One guy hung himself over the summer while he was in Spain in drug rehab.

My friend hung himself in October – one of the worst days of my life.

Another friend tried to commit suicide by OD and has been in a medically induced coma the past week.

And now, a car full of junior girls in my school got in a car accident over the weekend. There were 4 girls and a mom in the car. They collided head on with a truck that a mom, a 16-year old, and a 7-year old kid were in. Two of the girls died, the other two in ICU, the mother is in stable condition. The 16-year old died instantly, the 7-year old in ICU at a children’s hospital, the mother in fair condition.

When my friend died back in October, I felt the sickest I’d ever felt in my life. I couldn’t think rationally for the next few weeks. I was outraged at the indifference some people displayed that day and the days following. It just didn’t make sense to me: Someone just died and people don’t give a ****? I know I should have understood and tried to view the whole incident from another viewpoint, but I just could not comprehend how people continued their daily lives, going to class, laughing, enjoying the world on such a miserable day.

Now I’m on the other side. I didn’t know any of the girls. I feel sympathy, I really do, but what I lack is empathy. I try to put myself in the girls’ shoes, the families’ shoes, the friends’ shoes – but I just can’t. I went about my daily business as usual today; just casually going through the motions as a high school senior. There were a lot of people gone from school today due to the memorial service of one of the girls. To be honest, I felt like a cold, heartless bastard everytime I caught myself laughing or telling a joke – but the problem was that I caught myself very few times.

I can’t even begin to think how the families must feel. The four girls had been best friends for years. Can you imagine waking up in a hospital, not remembering a thing, then being told your best friends are dead?

I feel like after all the **** that has gone on already this year, I should have felt more prepared for this. I have a few friends who knew or were friends with the girls, and I just didn’t know what to say. Regardless of how many times you’ve experienced death around you, the next one is invariably different and unique and there’s just no way to prepare for it. . .


Life’s goes on. **** happens. That’s life.

Those words are the most hated words in my vocabulary. And that’s what’s kept me up at nights just wondering, what in the ****ing world is going on?

Why does **** happen to people?
Who is in control of this ****?
Is there even a reason everything happens?

There’s my predicament.

I DON’T KNOW.


Part of me wants to believe there is a higher being and that things happen for a reason – there’s a purpose to every single ****ing thing in the world and there’s a goddamn good reason for everything whether it’s good or bad.

Then another part of me believes what I just said is complete utter worthless bull****. **** happens in life and you live on. But that just irks me like you won’t believe.

Both are just ****ty worthless cop-out excuses for everything. Nothing makes sense in this world.

**** me.


I’m not fishing for sympathy. I’m not looking for anyone to tell me it’s alright and that everything will get better. I just feel like ****. I just don’t understand how life works; how it operates; what causes what; what happens to who; who what when where ****ing why.


I don’t even know what I just typed out. Sorry for the long read, I’m a bit woozy. I’m sure it didn’t make much sense but thanks if you read it I suppose.

Now tell me, what is life?
Hi!

Sig Retired.
#3
Life is ****. **** happens, no one is in control, just control your own life and push on.
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#4
Quote by metalcore123
Life is what you make of it.

Agreed. happens, but sometimes the best thing to do is to just keep saying "It could be worse." Because really, it could.
ok, yeah. my name is silly because I signed up when I was 13.

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#7
I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. I have much the same problem...
An unusual amount of kids in my class have died, too. All from natural causes or accidents (no suicides, I mean) and we've gone through school being the "cursed" class.
#8
Quote by la bamba
My friend hung himself in October – one of the worst days of my life.



*hanged
#9
Well, I can't really say much, considering I was born Catholic but believe in mostly scientific (borderline atheist) ideas. Anything I would say would have to do with the brain being just a brain, and would just make you feel inhuman... sorry...
TOO MANY PUPPIES

Soda sucks.
#10
nobody knows what life is yet.
and you shouldnt feel guilty about not feeling empathy.
the fact that you care/notice that you should have it is more than most people would do.
Looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the cake this morning!

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#11
I remember going to class last year and hearing that a girl in my grade had passed away. For hours that morning I tried to figure out what that must feel like, to be that girl's friend.

Strangely, that same exact day, my girlfriend called me to tell me that my good friend from the 7th grade, a girl I've known for 5 years, passed away that morning of a drug overdose. It's sobering and yet very overwhelming. I know how you feel.

God awful feeling.

Hope you feel better soon. There's not really much anyone can say or do that'll make it any better, it's kind of just a matter of self-awareness, getting yourself to a different state of mind on the matter.
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#12
Quote by guitarmannn
*hanged



Wow.
If your going to be a dickhead and correct someones grammar about a friend that committed suicide, atleast get it right, so we think your just a callous asshole, not a stupid callous asshole.

Its hung moron.
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^^

<_<
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#13
Quote by ratmblink123
Agreed. happens, but sometimes the best thing to do is to just keep saying "It could be worse." Because really, it could.


^Very true.

So far every year of high school there has been a kid who killed themselves. out of the 3 so far I knew 2 of them, 1 I knew and hung out with regularly. I will never forget the day when he killed himself. I was in school last year (junior). I knew something was up when the seniors were called in to an assembly that was not scheduled, I saw some girls crying in a hall way but I still had no clue what was wrong. In the second to last period they anounced the Dan had killed himself over the loud speaker. I froze. I dont really remember a lot of what happened the following days, weeks. I tried to find out as much as I could about what happened and i tried to peice it togeher. No one knows of a reason why he did and I dont think anyone will find out. HE had planned the whole thing. When I came to the conclusion that he knew what he was doing and that he was not trying to hurt us it made it alot easier to accept that he was gone.

Keep yourself busy and as impossible as it sounds right now, just get through each day.
#14
Quote by Zach_F
Wow.
If your going to be a dickhead and correct someones grammar about a friend that committed suicide, atleast get it right, so we think your just a callous asshole, not a stupid callous asshole.

Its hung moron.



No, its Hanged. That is the proper English grammar.


Might I suggest 1st grade?
#15
The real meaning in life is in finding the meaning.
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#16
Quote by beastiebeatles
The real meaning in life is in finding the meaning.


Very good way to put it.

Essentially, life's quest is a paradox... The point of life is to live.
TOO MANY PUPPIES

Soda sucks.
#18
ya life sucks la bamba. i always wonder when something bad happens how it is always the "good guy" or innocent one that is killed or horribly disfigured.. like in drunk driving accidents the DRUNK always seems to survive unharmed while the family of 4 coming the other way are all killed on impact. life isnt fair. i knew a few people just like you that died.. a kid i knew pulled a kurt cobaine on his head because he was depressed. another kid i knew OD'd because his friend died the night before. another girl in my school "didnt know her personally" was shot to death by her father, and her brother killed the father with a knife. strange occurences no one can explain

-ends rant
#19
Quote by guitarmannn
No, its Hanged. That is the proper English grammar.


Might I suggest 1st grade?



Im not going to play grammar games with you in this thread, if you'd like, you can take it to my inbox where I'll promptly delete whatever you send me.
Quote by boardsofcanada
^^

<_<
~Bass'-play-er.

The #1 member of the club that isn't terribly predjudiced against emo. Get over yourselves.
PM me, or just say # x
And part of Fortysix and twos Defenders of Emo club.

" Zach_F I love you for that."
#22
Quote by Zach_F
Im not going to play grammar games with you in this thread, if you'd like, you can take it to my inbox where I'll promptly delete whatever you send me.

They're both correct just Hanged is the more accepted form.


Dude, I'm so sorry about your friends. I had a friend die last year, and it was the worst experience ever. My condolences.
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#23
i feel exactly where you're coming from, when my dad died last january, i didn't know what to do...i got up the courage to go to school the next day, and i balled my eyes out in front of everyone. people felt bad for me, and showed it..and others were complete assholes about it and didnt care and made their jokes...but i was so hurt that i cut myself off from everyone for a couple of days. there isnt a day go by where i think "why did they take him from me? i still needed him"

but when i hear about other people's misfortunes and their loved one dying, and this is going to sound so bad, but it makes me feel better. it makes me feel better because i know that someone else is feeling what im feeling.

i am terribly sorry, and i know its hard, and there are many questions that need an answer. i wish the world did make sense, and it pisses me off that it doesn't.
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#24
^wow people would make fun of you for your father dying?????// cant wait till theirs die so jesus laughs at their corpses
#25
Quote by culkid
^wow people would make fun of you for your father dying?????// cant wait till theirs die so jesus laughs at their corpses


well she didnt say sorry or anything, she said: if my dad died, i'd get a million dollars..and i thought that was really shady.
Quote by SteveHouse
M. Night Shyamallama

#26
damn thats heavy. I was sort of in this situation awhile back when a friend of mine died in a car accident. For you in terms of the girls, be sympathetic, but treat it as you will. Don't fake excessive empathy when they weren't a huge impact in your life. When my friend (i wouldn't call him a close friend, but i knew him pretty well. he was more of a friend of a friend) died, I didn't take it excessively hard. His best friends were very much impacted by it, but it wasn't at that level and didn't try to be because it would insult the very people he was actually close to. When he died, there was a whole bunch of people (a lot of girls in particular, most guys in are school handled it okay) who were "oh, he was such a good person, and it was a privileged to know him and I'll remember him forever, RIP" and all that bull****. None of these people knew him, let alone were friends with him, and it pissed a few of my friends off who hung with the guy every day that these airheaded fags were putting themselves so close to him after his death, when in life, they wouldn't have given him the time of day.

I think they took it in the opposite direction you did with your friends suicide. You couldn't understand how people couldn't care that much about it, and they couldn't understand how total strangers could associate themselves so closely with him. Have reverence and respect for what happened, show your condolences, but don't try to take away from those who were actually close to them by faking empathy because you feel you need to. It will just make the whol things wose
Last edited by DaveGilmour1189 at Feb 19, 2008,
#27
well i was kind of confused because you said

and others were complete assholes about it and didnt care and made their jokes...
#28
we suffer pain and even death to know we're alive. intense pain and hardship is evidence of love and caring.

as for why these things happen? there is no concise purely secular answer.

all the pain you are experiencing is good for you though. it's like witchazel on a cut. it stings like a bitch, but it clears up infection. your suffering will define you. but you have the choice of letting it ruin you or letting it strengthen you.

“Indeed, the truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering, the more you suffer, because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you, in proportion to your fear of being hurt.”

Quote by Zach_F
Wow.
If your going to be a dickhead and correct someones grammar about a friend that committed suicide, atleast get it right, so we think your just a callous asshole, not a stupid callous asshole.

Its hung moron.


actually it is hanged.
#DTWD
#29
Quote by Zach_F
Im not going to play grammar games with you in this thread, if you'd like, you can take it to my inbox where I'll promptly delete whatever you send me.


It's hanged.
#30
Quote by Zach_F
Wow.
If your going to be a dickhead and correct someones grammar about a friend that committed suicide, atleast get it right, so we think your just a callous asshole, not a stupid callous asshole.

Its hung moron.



No, it's hanged.


But I'm not an asshole to ruin this thread, life is a confusing

Talking about carrying on during your day when your classmates died, that you didn't really know, that's normal, you should've went to the service if you knew them, or at least respected them. But I know they wouldn't want you to know think of happy things.

I'm sure when your friend passed away, others felt sorry, but they realized that your friend wouldn't want them to waste their days in sadness

No one can tell you anything about life, it's what you make it; and if you want to make it out you're going to have to just move on about everything.
If you were dead you wouldn't want you friends and family down about it, so think about how your friends feel

Life is a mystery just got out and live, you'll never solve it
And we will weave in and out of sanity unnoticed
Swirling in blissfully restless visions of all our bleary progress
Glowing in radiant madness
#31
Existential crisis much?

You've got a few non-exclusive choices: Believe in something (God, no God, whatever), Ask yourself what's wrong with the world, Go through the motions, or Enjoy life as much as you can.
You can't be down every time someone dies, people die all the time. Who ever said it was a bad thing? If you believe in Heaven, then dying would be great, right? Dying is a part of life, and sure, you'll feel sad about not being able to have good times with that friend any more, but there are other friends you have and other friends you can make. Does feeling down do you any good? Not really. Crying helps, but you've got to bounce back, and enjoy your life for what it is.
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go eat a hermanpherdite.
#32
Life sucks, is full of ****, stupid, full of retards who live under the rule of 'ignorance is bliss'.
ಠ_ಠ WILL GIVE HEAD

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#33
Quote by Zach_F
Wow.
If your going to be a dickhead and correct someones grammar about a friend that committed suicide, atleast get it right, so we think your just a callous asshole, not a stupid callous asshole.

Its hung moron.


No, it's not.
The act of hanging oneself is properly referred to in the past tense as "hanged".

If I was HUNG by my underwear, I'd be hung.
If I was HANGED, as in you-know-what, etc.


Sorry for this irrelevant post, but I hate wrong people insulting those who are right.

I'm sorry to hear that TS, that's very bad.
You'll get through it. You're an inspirational person.
Thank you.
Gore AND Core; unite!
#34
Quote by hazardmaster
Life sucks, is full of ****, stupid, full of retards who live under the rule of 'ignorance is bliss'.

If you lived by that rule, you wouldn't have so much contempt for people who lived under that rule
Quote by markr17
go eat a hermanpherdite.
#35
My condolences man. Last week a guy I knew from school was accidentally shot and killed while some friends were playing with a gun. This was a guy I had seen just a few hours before....and I've just been kinda out of it the last week or so.
#36
im a bit of a nihlilst
so there is NO point in life
were here because we are really
the conditions on earth just happened to be right for life to exist
if there really is a god, hes certainly not a loving god
**** if i had to make a list of the most stupid ideas ever, the idea that there is a god who loves us all would be at the very top!.

so basically what im saying is life sucks
especially when somebody you knew has died
even if its not somebody close to me, it still puts my out of a good mood
my science teachers wife died, even though i didnt know her i thought
"Woah lifes depressing, i can't help but think how my science teacher feels"
anyway my condolences for the loss of your friends
#37
Its a shame people have to pass but I think of the ideology that you describe is just the time of life you are at. People handle death in different ways and examine their lives periodically and to what is in the surrounded environment. Like right now, its been a hectic 8 months for you personally and your classmates. They'll be other times in your life(not you specifically but days in which are highly regarded by people) e.g.( day of marriage, graduation, having a child) that will blow your mind in a complete other way. I think the higher being thing is an interesting comment. I don't believe in fate, I believe that everyone has decisions in their life and puts themselves in situations to succeed or fail. I don't think theres a huge disparity between the kid who almost got into "that" car one night and the kid who did knowing the driver had a couple of drinks got into the car that night and is now dead or etc. I think the one thing that separates the two people is an adamant attitude and maturity.

Sorry to hear about everything that you've gone through but I guess the way I try to look at things is like this. Whatever is going on, someones mother, father, sister, brother, etc. just died right...now.

We as humans go through life trying to avoid as much pain as possible, so enjoy life and commemorate your friends lives and live yours for them, they wouldn't want you to be miserable, so do your best not to be.
Originally posted by J_Dizzle
THAAAANK YOU GoodCharloteSux is god
#38
*gives big hug*

that's all I can do. I personally believe that there is a God, but that this bad stuff is a result of sin and the devil, not God. I manage to draw closer to God when there's a tragedy and I hope you do the same.

I can guess at how you feel, my friend attempted suicide a year ago, and it was awful. The worst thing was, I barely cried at all. And I felt like you, confused as to why I wasn't sad enough to cry.... but yeah.
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#39
Damn thats really bad. I won't be able to imagine how you feel but the most I can offer is my deepest sympathy...

Stay strong man.