#1
share your drinking moments that you can only look back on and laugh
(i used seach bar but didnt find anything)

we were at a party with a group of mates, we were all out in the backyard, it was an open party so we didn't know the guy (he was some moari). then one of the guys we were there with gets pushed into the moari's fence,i looked over and it was one of those corrugated iron ones, it was flat against the ground. then my friend goes "we gotta go" so our group and extended friends (like 12 or so of us) leave the party and are walking down the street, then the moari guy comes after us. so we all start running, all falling over and stuff. we are running for ages, but every time we stop we hear the guy yelling at us in the distance. eventually we lost him, but it was pretty nuts getting chased by an angry moari guy. the next morning i had glass all in my hands. long story short never brake a moari's fence, it makes them angry.
#2
last night i was wasted at a nightclub, and i found $50, score. i woke with a baaaad hangover.

worst thing ive ever done drunk is.... having sex with a fatty. *shoots self.

/mylife.
#3
i cant seem to remember any stories when im drunk... whats that about?
Quote by Duff_McGee
Everyone knows that the day the Metallica ends, the world ends.
#4
I rode I bike off a poorly-constructed jump and broke my foot.


Oh, and...

12 people. 1 Maori. You ran away?


Was this some kind of Mecha-Maori?
Quote by kriscornella2@g
I know i wish i was as cool as you and be into Sum 41 and Taking back Sunday. Gaylord.

Quote by civildp1
you should call one of the songs, "Respecting Old People" just to mix things up.

Quote by вяaи∂ иєw
You just made a very powerful enemy BenFoffenbock.
#5
Hahaha.

One of my funniest drinking moments would be the first time I got drunk.

I was staying the night at one of my friends houses with him and another guy. We found some Seven Crown in his dad's shed and took at it, Any way I had like 8 to 12 shots and it ****ed me up.

I was so ****ed up didn't know what the hell was going on. I fell and hit my wrist, didn't hurt at the time, but the next morning I had a big ass knot on my arm. We stayed up all night and we decided to walk to a donut shop about 7 blocks away, stupid idea lol. I was the most ****ed up so my friends told me to wait in a yard nearby. I ended up falling down in some mud and passed out, to wake up to two mother****ers throwing donuts at me.

After all that I took a piss on some old guy's door.

It does kinda sound stupid, but it was one of the funniest.
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#6
Quote by BenFoffenbock
I rode I bike off a poorly-constructed jump and broke my foot.


Oh, and...

12 people. 1 Maori. You ran away?


Was this some kind of Mecha-Maori?



HAHAHAHAHAHA, he was a big maori

i never really thought about it that way. we just started running as soon as we saw him coming, tho we werent thinking to clearly...
#7
This epic consists of a night of Absinthe drinking with my rhythm guitarist, also the night I hooked up with my now girlfriend... There's lots of cursing, but UG bleeps, so it's PG-13.

So...uh...Yeah.

Friday night consists of Jesse coming over with his ****ty little 200 dollar fender wannabe, and we jam from 8:00 till 9:30, and make our way to the liquor store to pick up a bottle of Absinthe. Czech stuff, cost us 88 bucks, and we had to get the guy to unlock the display case from the back and walk with us to the counter (We got bumped to the front of the line 5 mins before closing).

We now have a bottle of this wonderful bluish-green liquid, and we're showing it off to everyone, who thinks absinthe is illegal. Idiots. We run into this kid Colton, the one who drank the piss last week, and he tells us about a bush party going on at the other end of town, so we go there.

Lemme tell ya something about absinthe, for those of you who don't know. It smells like ****ing Scope, it's 70% alc/vol(140 Proof) and it tastes like a mix of Jager, Sambuca, and Cancer. Jesse and I split this 26oz bottle of doom, giving the worthy little more than a cap full (3 people by my recollection), and, being the man I am, I decide to chug (Only 2 mouthfulls, but DAMN!).

Cops show up, and half the party splits, the other half goes deeper into the woods, where we come across part of a deer skeleton and a knocked over tree. Jesse hands me a bone, and takes a picture of me biting into this bone, but it shatters as I take a bite, so he takes a picture of me smashing a deer femur against the side of a tree whilst spitting out bone fragments, and rinsing out my mouth with absinthe, and then blowing flames (Because it's metal). I then brandish the deer bone menacingly, and ask a group of 15 year olds "Who wants to be the first!?!?" Which results in 7 kids running off through the woods screaming and crying, and the rest of us laughing our asses off.

Okay, for some reason that I don't remember, but the motivation being that it was raining, we left the bush party. On the way home, I apparently put some part of my body through the windows of 7 different cars, ripped the rear view mirror off of an H2, began screaming the lyrics to "War" by Burzum as we passed a Synagogue, and told Jesse that I used to **** people like him in prison (Note that I was in juvie for 2 1/2 months when I was 15, and there was no ********* going on, because it was the east coast, and everyone is violently homophobic, including me at that time). We walked by my apartment about 5 times, because I forgot where I lived, and it was only Jesse and myself at this point, and there was less than a shot's worth left in the bottle.

We eventually get home, and I go on a rant on how much everyone at my place (There's a party at my place by this point) is awesome, and that we should go out and kill everyone that they don't like, and shatter the now empty bottle on the kitchen table. This is where it gets retarded. Ryan bitches at me for getting so violent, so I get pissed, throw the bottle in the garbage, and put my face through the kitchen wall. I pull my head out, and Shaun remarks that I'm bleeding from the face, so I get even more pissed and leave a nice imprint of my knuckles on the freezer door, so Chris attacks me with the staple gun, gets me three times in the right arm until I kick him in the nuts and get Jesse to pull the staples out with the claw end of a hammer. Later on, Coral and I are flirting, and she pulls out my switchblade from her pyjamas, and intimates that I should go carve her up. We go into her room, and what little common sense I possess at this point stops me after the first cut, which is rather deep, and I tell her that I'm in no condition to be doing this, so we go back into the kitchen. She tells me "It's too bad you're not into cutting" to which I reply "I'm too ****ing drunk to carve you, what if I slip?", and she retorts with "No I mean you're too scared to get cut. Me, being the person I am, replies with "**** you ****! I ain't afraid of ****!", and roll up my sleeve. I have a 5 inch long cut along my right deltoid. Another chick, Cassandra, patches me up real nice, and it takes about 15 minutes to realize I have a bandage on my arm.

"Bandages are not metal!" I remove said bandage, and some of my arm hair.

"You need to leave that on! You're still bleeding for ****s sake!"

"Suck my ****, woman!"

You have to understand that as this conversation between Cass and I is happening, I'm wiping the blood from my arm onto the wall, and Coral is following us, licking it off of the wall. I stop at the washroom, tell Cass to **** off once again, and then Coral tackles me into her bedroom, locks the door, and we **** like jackrabbits for about 4 hours.

I wake up in the morning with a big ****ing shiner on my left eye, bruises everywhere, my arm is ****ing killing me, and I'm laying in bed next my hot ass, equally ****kicked room-mate. Lemme tell ya though, I've never been so ****ed up just by drinking in all my life, and the only additions to the absinthe was a beer before the trip to the liquor store, and one rotation on a joint. I spend the whole day sleeping pretty much.
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I wouldnt be surprised if the first thing Varg did was sign up for WoW so he could kick some Judeo-Christian ass.


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#8
^ Dude...
Quote by kriscornella2@g
I know i wish i was as cool as you and be into Sum 41 and Taking back Sunday. Gaylord.

Quote by civildp1
you should call one of the songs, "Respecting Old People" just to mix things up.

Quote by вяaи∂ иєw
You just made a very powerful enemy BenFoffenbock.
#9
I can post the one two weeks later where I got arrested, actually thought about what the hell I was doing, and decided to ask said girl out (A week later, while I was sober)
Quote by raise_the_dead
I wouldnt be surprised if the first thing Varg did was sign up for WoW so he could kick some Judeo-Christian ass.


Final Fantasy

Cid Highwind of the Final Fantasy Elite - PM me, Ichikurosaki, Gallagher2006, or Deliriumbassist to join!
#10
f*** man, thats nuts.... ive got smilies on my shoulders from drinking (heat a lighter up and put it on yourself, looks like a smiley face : ) but getting attacked by a stapler gun, repeatedly smashing things with ur face, and cutting in one night is crazy..

i drank absinthe one time we went camping.. i didnt have much but i ended up trying to go to sleep underneath a tree
#11
I hear that I was acting like shit at one point of our grad cruise last friday:
My mate told me, that as he was walking me down back to the cabin, I had called every single passer-by fags, with a really low, commanding voice, just "Fag."

Needless to say I didn't stay in the cabin, but went to continue the night.
#12
My first story began when a mate of mine invited me to a party at someones house. We got there, half of the people there were stoned, and we realised that we didnt like anybody else that was there. So we decided to get as drunk as possible off the carton of beer we had, and set about cutting up thier garden hose to make a sweet beer bong. t worked, we got hammered of the 12 beers and whatever we stole from the stoners at the party, threw up every where, passed out in a couple of beds, woke up and left in the morning, no goodbyes or sorries.

Next story was a couple of weeks later, and i decided to see how drunk a bottle of vodka could get me. Answer : Very. I like the fact im not very good at handling booze, cause i can get hammered for less money this way. Anyway, i managed to get drunk, offend people and had to be supported down a steep bank from the party to some girls house to sleep. Most of this i dont remember,

And lastly, last week we were drinking at a friends place, and one guy brought a bottle of homebrew scotch whisky. we dont know what was in it, but it tasted like metho/paint stripper. A few shots of that and we were nice a tipsy, along with the bottles of vodka we shared we got quite drunk. I got told, while throwing up the next day, that i had highly offended some Asian at the party, and managed to annoy most people that i stole liquor from. Nice.
#13
Note that these are reposted word for word from another forum that I frequent, so I'm relaying you the information that I managed to piece together over the course of two or three days, and I'm too lazy to clean it up and go into details.

Friday night, I'm feelin' good. No drama, no troubles...except Brad pushed Jesse and now there's an ass sized crater in my kitchen wall, and some asshole poured Mr.Clean into the fishtank, killing all of Chris' fish. It now serves as an ashtray. Other than that, no problems at home. Brad, Jesse, myself, and a couple of people from downtown get all painted up: 4 people as "Juggalos" Brad put on his paintball camo, and Jesse and I did up some corpsepaint, and we went and got hammered in a graveyard. That's all well and good, we even visit Brad's granny, then we take off. The clowns go back to my place, and the 3 of us decide to go out and get some breakfast, since it's about 5 am, and we're ****ing crocked.

So, we're walking down the street, and we walk by the Prestige Hotel (aka ***** Hostel). I have a pet peeve of things being broken and people just leaving it like that, so in my drunken stupor, I notice a broken mirror on the wall. I decide to break it more, thinking that they might actually spend the $20 to put a new one there. About 2 minutes later a cop car cuts us off, and I just give myself up. No point in fighting it, I'm not on probation, I have no warrants in Ontario, and I'm in no condition to run. I still look like ****ing Abbath at this point, and the cops are completely dumbstruck at this, but they process me anyway. Best part, Brad yells at the cop and knocks over a trash can in an attempt to get arrested with me, so I won't be alone in the cell.

I spend about 7 hours in the holding cell, and some guy makes a KISS comment at my expence, so I ask him how many guards it would take to yank his head out from between the bars, shove him to the floor, and stand over him until a guard comes in and escorts me, peacefully, to my own private cell.

Anyways, I have a promise to appear on the 10th of December for the charge of Mischief under $5000.
My lawyer says that the worst I'll get is a restraining order against me on the Prestige, and a year probation, and that's if I plead not guilty. But boy, did I ever egg the cop on while I was in the back seat of the car. Asking him stupid questions like "So where's the room where you beat the living **** out of the guys you bust" and singing the chorus to "Breaking The Law", over and over and over again.

I get out of jail, take the 2 hour walk home, and start drinking again. We throw another house party, Coral gets so drunk she fell over 5 times, so I just carried her ass to bed and left her there, I inadvertently wind up making out with this chick that Brad is seeing, but refuses to admit that they're in any kind of relationship other than **** buddies (She lured me with "Can you teach me how to play Back In Black?"), and I eventually wind up getting a kick in the ass from Brad after he finds out, which results in me falling over and breaking the couch that they were going to sleep on, and then he spoons me, and everyone, including Brad and myself, laugh for a good while.

So, I think I'm starting to calm down a little. I feel less stressed out, anyway.
Quote by raise_the_dead
I wouldnt be surprised if the first thing Varg did was sign up for WoW so he could kick some Judeo-Christian ass.


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#14
That's a pretty good effort.

I have two, none compare to that though.

Story one
It was my year 10 formal after party at some girl's brother's girlfriend's house because no one could have it, and I wasn't really intending to go, but on the way home, we got offered by my best mates sister to buy us all alcohol and to get driven there. So, we accepted and stopped off at the bottle shop. I didn't wanna get completely wasted because I had a peer support training day the next day, so we all got a few things to share between us.

We showed up and paid the $10 entry fee for damages, and walked in and started stealing grog. There are un-guarded eskies everywhere with a hell of a lot of alcohol, so we grabbed as much as we could, and shoved it in our backpacks.

After a while, we started to feel it after losing count of how much we'd had. We hadn't been there for very long, and most of our alcohol was already gone. I was told by a friend that there was a couple of Bottles of Absinthe circulating the party, so I went to find one because I've never tried it. My friends all had a sip and yelled "Uurgh, it tastes like licorice except acidic", but I thought I was tough. I can handle a swig of Vodka very well, so I assumed I could do the same with something that was double the strength. So, I had about three mouthfuls of it, and it all just came back up. For a few minutes, I was on my knees, head against a shed wall and the contents of my stomach landing on the grass.

And then the cops came. Because everyone was two to three years under the legal drinking age, the cops made us leave all of our alcohol in the yard. They didn't actually come around to the yard, but told the "supervising" adults to pass it on. After hearing that, we all scull the rest of the alcohol we had, being two bottles of beer for me. So we tried to walk out the front, my mate Fitzy and I holding onto each other, annihilated, while Tom and Schippy soberly walked out. Fitzy was saying how the cops wouldn't look at us because we don't have alcohol with us, but when he actually saw the cops, he started crying.

After some people being chased and arrested by cops, we started to walk back to Schippy's place. It took hours for a 15 minutes trip. By this point, I am finding it incredibly hard to see. I do not remember this bit, but, I was told I hardcore danced and played chicken on a busy intersection before attempting handstands on a medium strip. After some practical jokes and running races, we went to a park and Fitzy and I spooned for however long we were there, and had to get slapped awake. We continued our walk back to Schippy's, and Fitzy and I spooned until the next morning.

Story two in next post.
#15
Story two
I was at my mate Ray's house for a party after a two and a half hour train trip with my Kate (my girlfriend), Cutty and Dean. We get to the station where he lives and meet Ray, Simone (his girlfriend), Blake and Chris. On the way to Ray's house, all the guys were talking about drinking games and funneling that we had organised, while Kate and Simone talked about other stuff. We got to his house and immediately started drinking, at 4 pm. We weren't intending on getting drunk as fast as we could, but we were hot and sweaty so we all cracked open a beer.

I had to go to the toilet really bad, so I asked Ray if he could mix a drink for me. I had brought a bottle of Vodka, a 6 pack of beer and a bottle of lemonade with me, and he said he'd mix me a lemonade with Vodka. I went and when I came back, I started drinking it and it tasted exactly like straight Vodka. I didn't think much of it because I thought it was just contrasting to the taste of the beer, but after fifteen minutes when I'd finished it and was struggling to stand up, I asked him how much was in there. He told me that he had used one of my shot glasses and put six shots of Vodka in with the lemonade. So, I was already fairly tipsy and it wasn't even five.

We started funneling drinks, and with my lack on inhibitions, I agreed to funneling a big glass of goon and a can of Smirnoff Double Black. By this stage, I had to sit down and basically crawl to get from A to B. Everyone wanted me to stop drinking, as did I, so they let me play guitar hero with everyone for an hour until this pizza came at six thirty. I went to the toilet about 5 times between 5:30 and 6:30, and I actually felt a hell of a lot better. So after disgracing my guitar abilities and eating a pizza, we started playing a shot game.

There were three shot glasses of Vodka on the table, two had Vodka, one had water. Whoever was playing had to close their eyes while the rest shuffled the shots and the aim was to shoot down the glass that had water without tasting or smelling it first.

During dinner I had three beers, which got me back up to fairly tipsy again, and during the shot game (which only lasted 20 minutes) I had four shots of Vodka and another three that Kate didn't want to have because she cheated and smelt them. This is where my memory stops.

I blacked out at 7 pm. Around that time, a video was recorded of me yelling at Kate and calling her a bitch and other worse names and telling her she was treating me like a three year old because she was trying to hold me and stop me from collapsing onto the floor.

Cutty had 11 shots in that 20 minutes, and he passed out with his face in a bin and vomit all over himself. Ray and Blake put him to bed and left him there.

When I woke up, I was in a bathroom out the back of the yard that I didn't even know existed. I checked my phone and it was 10:45. I figured that I had been in there for almost four hours, but when I finally figured out how to get out, I was told a much different story.

In my time of blankness, we formed a fight club. In this fight club, I broke my toe on a chair after trying to kick Chris in the head. I also discovered that I passed out while standing up and hit my head on the fridge. There were three cuts and two big dents in the fridge. But the worst one of all is the fact that I downed a litre of Cat milk. After being told this, I felt disgraced. It wasn't the yelling or the passing out or the fight club, but the cat milk.

I started vomiting savagely and was unconscious again for another good two hours, after being awake for only fifteen minutes. It was now 1 am. I woke up to discover that I had broken Ray's toilet seat. Afterwards, I was in Ray's mum's room crying for what seemed like ever about stuff that I don't even know. I started drinking again and got myself back to a semi conscious level, and rubbed my bare arse on Ray's.

The rest is a blur.
#16
^ hahaha cat milk, can u remember what it tasted like? i always end up disgracing myself wen i drink, whether it b trying to fight someone or fighting someone and getting the s*** beat out of me.. thats why ive slowed the drinking down a bit....

btw i made this thread like a week b4 that other guy today
#17
I don't even remember doing it. I just remember Ray coming up to me with an empty carton of it saying "You drank ALL of this".

I'm 16, I'll grow out of it before it has time to severely affect my life.
#18
ok for a little backround information me and my guitarist are goin to a technical college out in a tiny nothing town out in Pennsylvania. We start hanging out with a drummer and my 19th birthday is coming up so we decide to throw a kegger with live music.

All of us who are setting up for the party show up early of course, the musicians, the people pitching in for the keg n such. We set up our equipment, set up a beerpong table and crack open a bottle of crown while two guys who are over 21 go to pick up the keg. We get a call from them about a half hour later with them telling us that the beer distributor is out of taps, so we tell them to just go ahead and get the keg and we'll find a tap......we never found a tap

So half a bottle of crown and a few bong rotations later dudeman gets back with the keg. we start calling everyone we know whether they were planning on coming or not looking for a tap. As i already said we couldnt find one so we start trying everything we can think of to try and get the beer out of the keg. few people try and tap it with a screwdriver, needless to say that didnt work, somebody else brings a tap for a beerball which didnt work etc.. slowly people are showing up and we need to get the beer out of this damn keg so we go to the only place in town thats still open and might have something......WalMart

we decide to not worry about the beer being flat and get 2 tubs and a bunch of ice. we get back to the party and theres about 10-15 people there, we fill one tub half way up with ice, take the keg into the bathroom and start spraying beer out of it until the other tub is about 2/3rds the way full, put it inside the other tub and we now have flat beer in a tub for everyones drinking pleasure. We play a few games of beerpong and now people really start showing up.

now theres over 50 people crammed into these two rooms so we go into the room and pick up our instruments, unintentionally we all light a cigarette at the same time and then we start jamming. we had only played with the drummer the night before so we were just making **** up off the top of our heads. there is a constant rotation in the music room of several different smoking devices and being that we are playing music of course we are always getting handed something and our beers are always being filled for us. We were all having a blast and every time we stopped playing people would get pissed and tell us to start again so apparently our drunken jamming was keeping them entertained........then the cops show up

Apparently some dumbass actually answered the door when they showed up, left the door open and ran to tell the person who lived there (the drummer) that the cops were here and they just walk in. Room were playing in has no windows and no doors so were stuck and busted. Everybody starts hiding every bag and every piece of paraphenalia in the room before we just go into the other room to pretty much just take whatever there gonna do. they give everyone of us breathalizers (sp?) and they were playing good cop bad cop big time to try and find out who bought the beer and who owned the bags and stuff that they actually did find. one guy was blowin in the breathalizer and the cop said to him "come on your blowing in it like you only have one lung." thing is this guy actually does only have one lung and he pulls up his shirt to show a surgery scar to prove it. cop tells me not to worry he got an underage charge on his 19th birthday too.

So they end up just giving us all our underage citations, didnt cite anyone for the pot or the bong that they found, dumped out the tub of beer but left the keg. most people left and we drank the rest of the keg quietly

probably not my funniest drinking story but man that was a fun night.
#19
so I was at my girlfriends house drinking a soda, when her sister started to sing "Private dancer" by tina turner really loud... and almost made me choke... this was just after flicking a piece of corn at me across the dinner table... her sister is 21....
Quote by bpoeoanry
go back to sleep
Waking up with boobs? Is there a visine for that.
#20
Last night was my friend and his sisters birthday party, and it was at this girl we knows house. So, it was semi large, invitation only, and were getting ****faced. Then all the ****ing football players come in, and etc etc. Turns into about 80 people in a small ass house. Biggest football player is an asshole, so i ignore him. hes going ape**** on people for no reason, and people start to get sick of him, and apparently, he used to be in the crips back in seattle, which no one would of guessed since now he has a redneck type personality. So some kid with a red bandana and a fat blunt in his ear comes in, they start arguing, fight breaks out between them in kitchen, football player gets broken nose, blood everywhere, walls floors, fridge, you name it. Everyones ****faced, two more fights happen the same night, and to top it all of the mom comes home, with beer everywhere.

Last night, man, wow.
"We wanna have fun and we wanna get wasted." - Andrew W.K.

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the clean vox weren't bad a lot

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#21
There was the time a friend and I started a fight club in the middle of this girls kitchen and I got blood all over her floor and kitchen sink. Then there was the time I drank 3 bottles of rum with a friend of mine and ended up in the bushes in a compromising position with a chick and I could here her dad walking around yelling her name. There's also a story in one of my blogs that's a good one, but a long read.
For a wounded man shall say to his assailant, "if I live I will kill you."
"If I die, you are forgiven."
Such is the rule of honour.
#23
Once, I drank alot of juice and i had to go pee......it was Caprisun (sp?)
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i busted a g-string while fingering a minor...
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#24
BS you used the search bar, theres 78^3943093 threads like this one.
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I want to try that while playing the opening riff to "Tempting Time".

0-0-0-13-0-0-0-0-13 or something like that alalalala but It;s so heavy and off time and awesome and you could not f**k anyone to it.


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#26
I'd tell you guys if I could..
but I don't remember any of them


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#27
We were drunk at a friend's house, so we acted out how is mother seduced his father (three of us, me and Adam narrating whilst we swapped between me and him taking part) . She started in the living room, they made out in the kitchen; she screamed take me and they ****ed on the bed and the they ended up having oral sex in the bath with his dad looking at himself in the mirror at the same time.
On vacation from modding = don't pm me with your pish
#28
Last friday me and my mate decided to walk home with our trousers and underwear by our ankles, we got a good few beeps and a few cars stopped. I tell you now, running with boxers and trousers round your ankles after a heavy night at the pub isn't easy.

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Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#29
I was at a gig 6 days ago, and ended up backstage somehow, and i robbed some sound system thing... its HUGE! Im scared to take it out and use it, cos my parents are gonna start asking questions about where i got it

Im an alcoholic kleptomaniac
#31
Just there a few days ago (Paddy's Day) i got drunk beyond belief with some friends. I passed out on top of my girlfriend on a foot path besides a KFC.

A Garda car (irish police) then decided that would be a good time to ask us some questions...
I struggled up to me feet, absolutely dragging out of me poor girlfriend, but still didn't admit to drinking of course. I was first to give my details (fake ones) and the minute the police man turned to one of my friends i fell backwards, straight to the ground. I don't know how I made an excuse for that to be honest!

In the end they just left, because I started asking them all for ID, reading off my own rights and shít haha. All in all, a legendary night (one of many)
UG Irish Clan-Póg mo thóin
#32
I cleared out a bar on Karaoke night. No I didn't have a mic. I was sitting at our table making up the words as I went and singing (very liberal usage there) very loudly. The lyrics were very disparaging to my table mates. After 3-4 songs we looked around and found ourselves very much alone on that side of the bar.
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