#1
this is a bit of an aggressive song with swearing in it so be warned.
we all need to blow off steam once in a while and these type of songs in my opinion belong in the music world just as much as any other.


One way street, two way beat, bouncing from your seat,
shout it out loud, creaming in and out, as fast as you can breath,
-
I ****ing hate you, and you know why, well i don't even care,
I ****ing hate you, and you know why, there's blood upon my chair,
from you, FROM YOU! from you-from you,
from you, FROM YOU! from you-from you,

Late last night, broom and bride of unhappy destiny, without a doubt, freaking out about how it has to be,

I ****ing hate you, and you know why, well i don't even care,
I ****ing hate you, and you know why, your blood is on my chair,
My chair, MY CHAIR! my chair-my chair,
My chair, MY CHAIR! my chair-my chair,

You must die, I just can't stand you anymore,
You must die, I'll throw you trough a door,
I'll hang you up with a rope,
Fill your system with way to much dope,
Tie you down on my chair, pull it up high into the air,
Hope you just don't land safe,
Because that is more, than you ever gave, TO ME!

I ****ing hate you, and you know why, well i don't even care,
I ****ing hate you, and you know why, there's blood upon my chair,
from you, FROM YOU! from you-from you,
from you, FROM YOU! from you-from you,

I ****ing hate you, and you know why, well i don't even want to know
I ****ing hate you, and you know why, it's best if you just go,
right now, RIGHT NOW! right now-right now,
right now, RIGHT NOW! right now-right now,

I ****ing hate you, and you know why, well it does not even matter,
I ****ing hate you, if you are gone things will start getting better.
Be gone, BE GONE! be gone-be gone,
Be gone, BE GONE! be gone-be gone,
Last edited by sirmentro at Feb 19, 2008,
#4
i dont understand the chair part? why is there so much chair?
"I just want to conquer people and their souls."
-Mike Tyson
#6
Quote by akack
+2

+3

I would change the ****ing hate you bit, it just seems rather naff and actually makes it seem less aggresive if thats what your going for.
#7
Don't want to be harsh, but in my view there are three kinds of songs which have been overdone:

Love songs, political songs, and 'I hate you' songs.

Sorry man. It's really simplistic and somewhat cliche, and its message just doesn't appeal to me at all. Most of the lines also have little rhythm or feel, for example the stanza after the 'My Chair' stanza.

The 'My Chair' stanza itself is just ridiculous. It sounds like you're describing a girl leaving a period or something... gang vox have to make some sense.
Last edited by webbtje at Feb 19, 2008,
#8
Sublimical, lairoads, ackak, check your emails guys.


Quote by DiveRightIn63
i LOLd


So much for asking it.


Now guys keep the replies relevant to the thread. If you ain't going to offer constructive criticism and only flame/spam, don't bother to post.
#9
Quote by IRONMAIDENTLICA
why is there so much chair?


i LOLd
ADELOS
POP PUNK
for fans of...

Motion City Soundtrack, Get Up Kids, Jimmy Eat World, Transit, Brand New, Dashboard Confessional, Early November, Fall Out Boy, Jawbreaker, Polar Bear Club, The Story So Far, the Wonder Years, Something Corporate.
#11
Sorry, but...no.

True, there have been about 800 billion "I hate you" songs written, but there's nothing wrong with giving that idea a personal take. This, however, is not done with the least bit of creative thinking. I can imagine most of this being screamed out in a middle school hallway as two enemies are about to have a go at one another before being separated by a teacher.

You don't have to be screaming ridiculous obscenities to convey that you hate someone. I suggest you go back and tackle this idea from a different perspective.

Or you could ignore everything I just said.
Quote by rocktolive
One time, I swear my PB&J sandwich talked to me... maybe it was food poisoning?
#12
ahh, teen angst

my advice: stop writing angry songs, their pointless and make you seem like a 12 year old
#13
Quote by webbtje
Don't want to be harsh, but in my view there are three kinds of songs which have been overdone:

Love songs, political songs, and 'I hate you' songs.

Sorry man. It's really simplistic and somewhat cliche, and its message just doesn't appeal to me at all. Most of the lines also have little rhythm or feel, for example the stanza after the 'My Chair' stanza.

The 'My Chair' stanza itself is just ridiculous. It sounds like you're describing a girl leaving a period or something... gang vox have to make some sense.


Exactly.

Now, I'll make this direct and blunt, because blunt things only bruise and thats all I'm trying to do, sirmento:

What the hell??? I say brusquely, that you, "suck AND blow." These aren't lyrics, they're an incoherent rant by a salacious 14 year old with a barbarity fetish.
#14
If you want my opinion, (though obviously whether you do or not is irrelevant as your created something, it is doomed to be judged and defined and will follow you around)
I just loathe pieces like this. There is no eloquence in "I f*cking hate you"
I mean come on...it becomes farcical as oppossed to aggressive.
Take the poem "The Poison Tree" by William Blake:
William Blake was probably in a similar mind set...but he makes it far more believable, and angry.

THE POISON TREE:

I was angry with my friend,
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe;
I told it not, and my wrath did grow.
And I water'd it in fears,
Night and morning with my tears;
And I sunned it with smiles,
And soft, deceitful wiles.
And it grew both day and night,
Till it bore and apple bright;
And my foe beheld it shine,
And he knew that it was mine,
And into my garden stole
When night had veil'd the pole
In the morning glad I see
My foe outstretch'd beneath the tree.
#15
Quote by sirmentro

I ****ing hate you, and you know why, there's blood upon my chair,
from you, FROM YOU! from you-from you,
from you, FROM YOU! from you-from you,


I feel bad. You're obviously trying to be passionate and angry but this just tickled my funny bone! Perhaps try using this in future?

http://www.boxshop.ca/stretch-wrap-roll-p-83.html
“I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f*ckin' mouth.” RIP
Http://www.Smash-it-up.tk
#16
I agree with the above about making it...well..smarter, for instance slayers song "Threshold" has really good lyrics about releasing anger, but it doesnt come across as very cheesy or corny, look up the lyrics if you want to see a pretty good song about lashing out at people
"I just want to conquer people and their souls."
-Mike Tyson