#1

I had a few good lines somewhere -
maybe I put them in a pocket
while drunk
and they went trhough the wash,
came out all wet and limp.
Or maybe I placed them carefully on the bar
next to my glass
before getting up to piss,
and some dirty fucker stole them for himself.
I guess I'll never really know.
I'd like to think I found a good woman,
got her addicted to my face and personality
and took her home to bed,
where those few good lines slipped out
in the heat of many moments,
and there they remain.
No longer satisfied with me,
they ran away to live on that pillow,
or between those sheets,
or around those little blue panties
probably still abandoned on the floor.




love is a dog from hell.



#3

Um. Thanks. You do me and I'll do you next time, perhaps?

Gah. I read it anyway, bleed_away.




love is a dog from hell.



#7
Pieces like these make me glad you won WOTM.

I prefer drunken poets like myself, and this board isn't full of them.

You take a hoaky topic, like forgetting words and poems (poets writing about poetry upset me) and blend it into a drunken night of fucking, which I guess is what people like Bukowski did.

Jesus fucking Christ, I can't crit worth a shit.
Poor advice.
#8
dear stellar legs:

"The only people i'd consider poets are those who do not consider themselves poets"
-bob dylan... :P

this is really good
you can really really tell that you read Bukowski.
Excellent work
#9
I like this for the same reason stellar_legs does. Anything that starts with poetry, mixes with drinks and ends in f*cking hits the spot haha! I cant really offer a crit so I wont ask for a return because this is solid as it is. x
“I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f*ckin' mouth.” RIP
Http://www.Smash-it-up.tk
#10

Thanks guys. It just makes me happy to know that people appreciate my style of life and writing, and don't write me off as something I'm not.

edit: Randy, just to get a comment is rare, I'm glad you like it but I'm honestly just glad you took the time to read it.




love is a dog from hell.



#11
This is great. I can definitely see how you're influenced by Cassady now. (I FINALLY got his letters!) Your vocabulary is so real, and I love how you describe everyday scenes without losing yourself in clichés. I don't have anything else to say, I'm not going in depth here because it's absolutely no use.

If you could just leave a comment on one of these, that would mean a lot to me man. Thanks.

http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=790462
http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=786374
#12

Collected letters? I have that. It's all "yass yass yass" and crazy syntax, and I love every damn page.




love is a dog from hell.



#13
Quote by we have sound

Collected letters? I have that. It's all "yass yass yass" and crazy syntax, and I love every damn page.


Yeah, Collected letters. I'm impressed with him, all the references and yeah, the syntax and just the way he writes.. I wish I could write letters like that, lol.